Black Relationships : Saving a Marriage !

HODEE
You know when they can't win a point, make a point then they turn to attacking. because they feel inadaquate and start attacking and turn a good thing into an argument.

Right here is like hitting a nail on the head , I so agree for i've seen time after time where one
half trying to get a point cross and the other can't seem to relate often has made more confussion
then it really is while the other half attack seeking to find a way to counter with an argument.


Skills learned should be.. leave the issue for a while, rethink it thru over a few days or weeks and revisit if the other wishes to.

Again i agree but what happen when we get one that wish not to and say if you can't say it now then don't
bring it to me later , i have heard this before and even been on the short end of the stick with this one
then when they let go without fixing it or some solution it get worser and start the faze of breakup-divide
into a hardship of a relationship

There is no connection in a wedding ring or a certificate.
Get that out of here.. the commitment is in your words and deeds.

I always felt the ring is just as stated a small token that i give my words & deed to be of thee
as one whole unto as soulmates bonded as husband & wife

Take on and care your obligations.. father means you take care of your children.. any one can go out and get a woman.. but everyone can't take care of a woman.

This here to be true not every man can take care of a woman but knows how to obtain one
those who can handle the task often lack something else a woman is a different kind of jewel
one that has many needs and wants it's true not every man can meet the task of a woman .

Yes sista LindaChavis all as well .
 
$$RICH$$
You know I was thinking should there be a series of pre-marriage questions that one can ask before getting married? Like they do on the dating site match .com

Like for instance...

1. When we have to make major decisions. Will we do it together?
2. Are you willing to face difficult issues and work together to get thru them?
3. How do you handle conflict?

That enters the marriage from family and friends, from things the other may do that may be annoying?

4. Do you try to avoid dealing with major issues and conflicts?
5. Do you get stressed easy?
6. Tell me some things or what makes you really scared and stressed?

7. Do you want to have children, if so how many? If not please explain why
8. Sex ...do you have a particular time of the day or night, and are you willing to adjust the frequency as the desire increases if one or the other desires more or less?

Blank statement: Please don't ever deny me!
Blank statement: Please don't use sex as a weapon!

9. If the head of the household or the one working out the bills and finances say.. we have to tighten our belt for a while.. times are hard. What would you do and can you be depended on to help us reach a goal financially?

Add more please.. marriage is 30% communication / 70% consideration and there is no rule book.. but these things come up! ( my guess on the percentages )

care forethought, self reflecting( what did i or you do to cause this riff ) What can I do to make my mate happy today, what makes them smile.. what can i do that surprises them and makes him or her smile ) = consideration = check your own actions and don't push them onto another.. listen to the words coming out of your own mouth!

There's 100% or you and 100% of them.. The 50/50 rule isn't real.. put 100% of your self into everything! = 200%
On your worse day .. you still may have at least 50% to give.. now get better.. strive to be better.. education is a life long adventure.. study, read and learn for ever until you die and quit breathing!
 

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