ok, now we done had another fight, and I'm feelin my usual "I miss you" thang, but shoot! you hung up on ME and I'm sittin here thinkin maybe, just maybe I need to re-group and re-hash some **** in my own **** mind ~ no interference
I'm thinkin I never HAVE made a decision by myself...not of any importance; you've always been right here to guide me, naw, TELL me what the hell I'm spose to do next. Anything major, I ALWAYS go to you...
See, sittin here thinkin bout how dependent on you I've become, hurts my **** head! You even pick out my clothes for the day ~ that's how much control I've given you over my life...
****! I realize, (fog liftin from my eyes), I've NEVER made a move without you...don't even take a pee unless it's kewl witchoo...***** ***** *****!!!! Just what have I done to me?
I'm thinkin bout callin you cuz these thoughts are scaring me right now and I MUST be wrong CUZ-THIS-AIN'T-RIGHT! ~ you ALWAYS know what's best for me, I don't never have to worry bout nothin, that's what you say allatime, and, and, and everything you do is in my best interest, for my own good, and, and, even when you make me cry, it's cuz a something I done did wrong where I just need to grow up more to become a better person, and, and, you HELPIN me do alladat...
and I'm cryin right now cuz I wanna SCREAM!!!! Hot tears is shootin out my eyes, slingin snot cuz I SEE now, after all this time when you told me to STOP, I shoulda WENT, and when you said NO, I shoulda did it ANYWAY, and when you told ME to ask YOU for forgiveness for some lil STUPID *** thing I did, I shoulda said "**** THE HELL OFF",
and when you told me to walk, I shoulda hauled ***!
Alyce, 2001
I'm thinkin I never HAVE made a decision by myself...not of any importance; you've always been right here to guide me, naw, TELL me what the hell I'm spose to do next. Anything major, I ALWAYS go to you...
See, sittin here thinkin bout how dependent on you I've become, hurts my **** head! You even pick out my clothes for the day ~ that's how much control I've given you over my life...
****! I realize, (fog liftin from my eyes), I've NEVER made a move without you...don't even take a pee unless it's kewl witchoo...***** ***** *****!!!! Just what have I done to me?
I'm thinkin bout callin you cuz these thoughts are scaring me right now and I MUST be wrong CUZ-THIS-AIN'T-RIGHT! ~ you ALWAYS know what's best for me, I don't never have to worry bout nothin, that's what you say allatime, and, and, and everything you do is in my best interest, for my own good, and, and, even when you make me cry, it's cuz a something I done did wrong where I just need to grow up more to become a better person, and, and, you HELPIN me do alladat...
and I'm cryin right now cuz I wanna SCREAM!!!! Hot tears is shootin out my eyes, slingin snot cuz I SEE now, after all this time when you told me to STOP, I shoulda WENT, and when you said NO, I shoulda did it ANYWAY, and when you told ME to ask YOU for forgiveness for some lil STUPID *** thing I did, I shoulda said "**** THE HELL OFF",
and when you told me to walk, I shoulda hauled ***!
Alyce, 2001