Black Jokes Humor : ROACHES! NO LIE WE HAD'EM True Story.

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by sweetbrownsugar, Jan 6, 2005.

  1. sweetbrownsugar

    sweetbrownsugar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Roaches! How many others have them! (Friends:Whodini) I can't even play like we didn't have them growing up! Actually we had'em so, bad in this one house...I used to be about 8 thinking that maybe the ARMY could do something about them!

    I ain't gon' even lie! we had this one clock in the kitchen...You never knew if it was 8:56 or 8:59 cause it would be a roach sitting his behind in there trying to keep warm blocking the last number!

    One used to always be in the kitchen radio! The one my mama used to play her Sunday Gospels on. I used to turn the dial back and forth From FM 107 to FM 108...just to make him get his @$$ up outta there! (my mama: "What's going on! why 'cants we get some Shirley Ceasar up in here this mo'ning?")

    My mama used to always set these "Foggers and Bombs" Then she'll be like, "Yall come on, let's walk down here to the DAIRY QUEEN while these foggers go off" So we go. When we came back? Dem ROACHES be straight up BIONIC like they on some CHRONIC!
    Roach #1: "Yeah, ***** that ish Moms-do laid down was da bomb!"
    Roach #2: "Dog, I'm feeling you! But Imz bout ta go up in this kitchen! It wuz some neckbones and rise (rice) up in there from yesterday if she ain't throwed dem janks out! ***** I gots the munchies!
    Roach #1: Ai-ight then *****!
    And them Roach Motels? In our house? Them roaches turned them things into club houses! where they held town-meetings on how to get rid of our @SSes! Lead Roach: Okay, when sweetbrown sugar come for a glass of kool-aid? about 10 of y'all run 'down the cabinet!


    Oh Man! What really tripped me out about ROACHES? Is that they just like people! Just like you got Black folks...you got (I guess) Black roaches. Then you got WHITE ROACHES! The first time I ever seen one of them! I thought one of the brown roaches had suffered the wrath of BIG MA's HOUSE SHOE. DIED. and came back as a GHOST! I used to be scared as a blank of them WHITE ROACHES!

    But what I found out was that,them white roaches? They just like White Folk. White Folk into that WHITE COLLAR CRIME? WHITE ROACHES INTO KITCHEN-COUNTER CRIME! SIMILAR BUT DIFFERENT. They do they crumb snatching and mischief BEHIND THE SCENES WITH THE LIGHT OFF! AND THEY DON'T COME IN DA HOOD TOO OFTEN!

    Dem Brown/Black roaches? Unh-Unh. They Bold. If they want the Crumb? DadBlammit, they gon' get the crumb! While you in the kitchen cooking! And with the light on! They BOLD.

    Now, the word is roach. Why down south real, old people who claim to have went to school with Harriet Tubman, pronounce it "ruch"!
    "Here, Baby take Big Mama's house shoe and kill that ruch over there! "Hurry Up! Get'em 'for he git away!" "One ruch equals twenty baby!, GET HIS @$$!"

    I ain't gon' even talk about the one that ONLY come out when your boyfriend or girlfriend is over at the house! Now this the one that straight up pisses you off! Crawling back and forth to the SAME spot on the coffee table like he looking for something! And your boyfriend or girlfriend they be looking straight ahead at the TV, But THEY SEE HIS @$$ with the PERIPHERAL! See, that's why that girlfriend or boyfriend NEVER CAME BACK OVER! (He had seen too much!)

    Lastly, This was just for jokes only. I guess you can only laugh if you could relate. And if you can't relate..you're LUCKY! NO offense intended to my Race or the White Race. Just a personal depiction of what I thought of Disgusting-Behind ROACHES! We couldn't get rid of them so In my mind I personified them. Most people had pets(dogs and cats) But in our house? WE HAD NASTY, DISGUSTING, SITTIN' UP IN A BREAD SACK, CABINET CLIMBING, SHOWING OFF IN FRONT OF COMPANY, RADIO AND CLOCK LIVING, EGG ON THEIR BACKS, (DID I SAY NASTY?) NASTY, ROACHES!
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    now dis took me on a tale spin .....yuk but on point
    funny tale of the day and night crawlers call Roaches.
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    They do seem to be able to live through anything, glad I don't have to live with them, this was a funny story.
     
  4. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I ain't gon lie, it was like you was telling my life story too. I thought i was the only one who saw them white roaches? lol funny story
     
  5. Poetrymama

    Poetrymama Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    re:roaches

    Chile, this is so funny.
     
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