Right to privacy?? Under my Roof???

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Coach707, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know many of you have children, so I pose this scenario.

    If your child is of age (middle school to high school aged) should he or she have the right to privacy in your home? I was thinking, would it be wrong to read your child's journal or personal diary?

    If you found out something personal through reading their diary, should it be within your parental guidelines to do or say something?

    Has anyone been through this type of situation?
     
  2. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Yes, a child has a right to privacy so long as they earn it. This means that they act good and do what they're supposed to do (which isn't that hard). Of course one or two slip-ups doesn't necessarily mean I think their privacy should be invaded.

    I believe if a child is behaving in a way that is erratic and harmful for no logical reason, you're going to have to do something. But if they are acting normal and you're still doing that then child feels violated. Why do the right thing if you're always treated as though you are going to do something wrong?
     
  3. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good point, but even if a child is behaving "normal" there's no way to know what he or she is thinking. Once they get a certain age the art of deception becomes one of their main weapons against the powers that me.


    Even if the communication lines are great between parent and child, are we as parents absolutley sure our kids are safe?
     
  4. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Do my children have the right to privacy in my home? Absolutely not! We live in a society where what you don't know can and will kill you. It is my obligation as a father to protect my children from all harm, including harm they bring to themselves.
     
  6. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I salute you Brotha!
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Did I neglect to mention I teach and counsel high school students? I know first hand what young folk talk about, think about, and do when they believe their parent's aren't watching. Right to privacy.....yea right!!
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    For a child, there is no privacy under your parent's roof. They've paid for everything, so everything in the house is pretty much the parents possession anyways. The only time you have freedom is when you have your own. If parents give you privacy, it's out of courtesy, not out of your right to privacy. Especially since if things go wrong, it's going to come back on them. If you break a law, it comes back on them. If you burn the house down, it comes back on them. If you get pregnant under their roof, the majority of the responsibility is going to fall on them. Until you're on your own two feet, you don't have a say in anything.
     
  9. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with this perspective. How can we teach our children trust if we don't extend it. By the time they are in middle school, parents have had years to instill in their child, when they were younger, a value system that one would hope would mold them into responsible young adults. I think Kente417mojo said it best when he said it's more of a courtesy extended by parents than a "right". True dat! Parents always have the final say-so and if they want to read their children's diary or search their room, they're clearly within their parental rights to do so...I chose to give them the courtesy of their privacy as long as they gave me no reason(s) to question their behavior and consistently show good judgement as they went about learning about life.

    Yeah, some kids will act differently somewhat when their parents aren't around, but you can't be everywhere with your child, sooner or later you're just going to have to have faith in the teachings you gave to them when they were (with you).
     
  10. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes They Do Have a Right To Privacy.

    Every human being has a right to privacy(adolescents too). It is the critical point in their lives where they can begin to separate themselves and evolve into their own being. My daughter has always had her own room, and even if she is on punishment I still knock out of common courtesy, as I would expect that to reciprocate on her behalf. As far as a teen getting out of line, invading their privacy can somehow shatter their self-esteem. My father raised three girls close in age by himself. He would always knock on our bedroom doors and ask: "Ya decent?". I would only be urged to read my daughters diary if I suspect something is going on, but first I'll ask if she'd mind talking about it. If things got progessively worse, then that's when I'd have to be bold, and bust that lock on the diary. If a child misbehaves, privileges should be taken away, not privacy. JMHO:picture:
     
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