Black Poetry : Retrospect in Rewind (trying something enw)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Kori, Mar 1, 2005.

  1. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this poem is to be read from top to bottom AND bottom to top

    The fault is mine
    I tied myself to an empty heart
    But from the start
    I was elated
    ...Until your love abated
    I hate that
    Im now dwelling in the loss
    Constantly reminded
    (of) promises broken
    Made up with
    Words unspoken
    The fault is mine
    I can and do readily admit
    I allowed myself to be me
    Loving hard and feeling strong
    Asking questions that seemed wrong
    The fault is mine
    Misplaced my mind
    Between Alpha, Omega...and I
    Picked up the pieces I'd confined
    I lied there alone
    My pride wouldn't let me beg
    Cuz I left my desperation at home
    So I'm headed out on my own
    It's become obvious
    You no longer need me
    Not wanting to be free but
    ...I still am
    I admit
    The fault is mine
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this was outstanding two in one from topside to bottom up
    i love how you pose two poems on one canvas perfection !!
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My response sort of has me coming and going...The message behind the poem, being latched onto something that was never really there is on point in and of itself. And then the way you constructed this piece...simply awesome poet. :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
     
  4. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thank you guys for peeping! I appreciate the love, just an experiment, its not the best poem, just wanting to know if I could do it. AND I DID!
     
  5. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah, you did it, and quite well at that,the craftiness to this was a masterful work of art. Much skill when into this piece.
     
  6. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ^^^Good Looks :D
     
  7. Poetrymama

    Poetrymama Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    re:Retrospect

    Very nice.
     
  8. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    heartfelt piece right here...you prosed these emotions well...

    one love
    khasm
     
  9. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    not only did you do it...but you did it well...
    so do it again...
    i love the concept of the structure
    and i like the poem also...
    nice ...very nice
     
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