I do agree that communication is a key factor. However, I believe self-reflection and growth are the answers to poor relationships. Simply put we have not dealt with all of our issues before we engage in relationships and we don't deal with them once we are in the relationship. We need to deal with all of our insecurities and low self-esteem at some point. Of course it is easier with a loving, trusting, understanding, enlightened partner, but the fact is many of us can't find that in a partner because they haven't become that person yet. We all have things that have happened in our lives that makes us apprehensive, insecure, scared, and imperfect. Where we fail is we never deal with them. So...since we all react in different ways...we become these people that have imperfect relationships because we ourselves are imperfect and we do nothing to work towards perfection. Do I believe we will ever be perfect??? Hell no. But in the journey, however painful, we will discover strength and self-esteem which will help us get past those pains in the past so we will not cause pain in our future. Will we ever be free from pain??? Hell no. But we will be able to sustain strong, loving, fulfilling relationships because the lines of communication will be open because the fear that stemmed from those previous hurts will no longer cause us to sabotage our relationship. As for men being dogs. As I said previously, we all deal with our insecurities different. Many man become dogs. They don't trust women, for whatever reason(real or percieved) so they dog them out so as to not be dogged themselves. The truth is they becomve very good psychologists and judges of charactor. They tell women what they want to hear in order to get what they want and the sales pitch has been carved to near perfect. They simply master their craft. Women fall for it because of some insecurity in them. Maybe they feel they can't do better. I don't know. Some men don't have problem with trust. They have a problem with their manhood. For whatever reason they feel that sleeping with countless women and having control over their emotions makes them men. Everytime they are not feeling good about themselves they find a woman to conquer so they can for a short period of time. And finally the is the perpectual kid. Some men just refuse to grow up. Their own happiness is their only concern. If the means being single, having freedom, and using women along the way so be it. There is no since of responsiblity. They just want to do what they want to do. That could be both pain in the past and lack of effective training. They don't see themselves as dogs because they 'tell the women they dont want a relationship' but they know there will be feelings developed so it is irresponsible to stay until she falls in love and then pull away be ' they told you'. If they were the players that they thought they were, they would just come right out and say "I just want sex and when you fall in love I am leaving." The bottom line is we all need to deal with our problems at some point. Fear of the pain it will cause is not an excuse. Some may need professionals. Some may need to just be by themselves to work it out. Whatever the case may be we need to work towards being complete without a partner so we can be at peace when we have one. Let me know what yall think. Dre'