Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by medusanegrita, Apr 28, 2010.
Check one. Add comments if you wish.
let me think on this one
What is there to think about?
You got one of those... as facebook says... 'it's complicated' situations?
I started to put that, but I didn't want to make it too easy for folks.
I'm sure if they think hard enough, they can fit somewhere in the above.
Are there any divorced women on here?
well let's say i was a loanner but not anymore had to think on how to say it !
I actually qualify for more than one of those
I am divorced
I got married by a judge
Shoulda asked for a jury
Sometimes I think I need to start a support group for divorced black women. I don't think it is easy to be divorced in a sea of married black or single black women - they both have no idea what it means to be divorced.
Single women don't understand because they never been married and don't understand why you led yourself into a relationship and didn't or couldn't make it work. They are soooo idealistic in their singledom, thinking that divorce is not an option, that they will make better decisions on their potential mates so it doesn't lead to one, and yet are scared to get married because they don't want a divorce.
Married black women don't understand it because feel divorce leads to the destruction of the family unit, and don't understand why you couldn't just 'work it out' especially in my case which many consider to be 'too benign' to be gettin divorced over. They think and say 'with the high rate of OOW births and singleness among black women, why is that a path you'd wanna go down? Betta be glad you got a man and got married!' So I'm suppose to be happy to be married just for marriage sake
But many divorced woman that I talk too are not like me. They really are sad and depressed over being divorced and can't WAIT to get married again. They figure that's the state we're suppose to be in, and any criticism over being divorced is justly deserved. They feel GUILTY about being divorced. They feel sadness and shame. Their thoughts are a combination of the both the single black women and the married.
This is not how I feel, and these are not the type of divorced women I want to commune with in any support group. I feel alone and misunderstood.
But I'll find a way to deal with that. Support group ain't one of them so I guess I'll keep reading. Join a different type of support group somewhere. Take a continuing ed class. Who knows.
eh im single and not married male...
On my third marrage, three children with my current wife only.
Divorced..discovered myself..enjoying who I have become.
Divorce = blossomed rose emitting a lovely fragrance!
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