What do you want from me? The whole **** week you have been asking if I am okay Like 40 times a day. And Twice as much on weekends I'm Fine , thanks for carin' and all But please stop askin' really….. The 3 week old stubble on my chin, is not an indicator of any particular foul Mood or Artistic Funk I am in. I'm just kinda mellow for now is all. Really…. Maybe you see me, talking to myself , when it's clear I am alone, and see my car parked out front , but my lights are out , and you know I am home. Trust Is I wasn't I was taking a walk thinking about HER and missing her scent on my bed To I took a walk around the corner Couldn't shake her pretty face, so I took a jog across town Just to clear my head , just to roam. Really…. I'm okay Maybe not in the sense that it feels like years have passed, but it has only been days Since I last kissed those perfect lips Or maybe my hands feel empty holding my writing pen Because my fingertips remember when I was holding her curvaceous hips And they wanted that again, so they went on strike, I have writers block …… But I am okay, I am just fine …….Really The bags under my eyes probably make it seem like I was sleepy, or unhappy , and stayed up all day and all night staring out the plate glass windows of my loft seeing her face on people 30 stories below, but that is not the case, I was up writing ….. Actually I was up watching the TV watch me. All I wrote was her name and my name on the stairs, over and over again in patterns, and anagrams making new exotic words out of the union of letters in our names…. Really I am okay….. For now……..I think…… My clothes are a little wrinkled and my hair just a little less neater , that Is usual for me But I am not losing my mind, I know Exactly where my mind is…. It's with my heart , and she has it right now , she took it right off my sleeve Before she kissed me deeply, and told me she had to leave for a little while , but that I was special, she said she'd call me. I watched the door close, and heard the engine fade down the street, The sight of her coy farewell smile, Still on my eye like a light bulb flash. I stood there gaping, looked stupidly at the back of the mahogany brass hung door…. Dreaming about her coming back …. Was she coming back….. I remembered that door, which was like the doors I walked through That greeted me openly and said farewell (all to often angrily) of so many women in the past. I used to be the slow hand man, Stealing kisses and breaking the occasional heart, never Really caring just collecting trophies, From ladies that were all to anxious when they saw me To make their knees part, as I used that easy ***** To satiate me temporarily And I got off that they so foolishly let me make them claw for the ceiling , ******' them both physically and mentally, Keeping silent when they moaned they loved me. I had them caught up, thinking some head in a taxicab Was true feeling , was love….. I was stunned, this was happening, it was happening and I could not react, she was good, and so very fast. I think I'm losing My Mack…. I mean she had me so completely wrapped up in her , So completely taken with her So utterly lost in her, That I was drowning in her perfumed neck (and I forgot to breathe) I was sinking into the softness of those brown eyes and captured effortlessly by the softness of those strong thighs around my neck , I was hers… ****, I'm not alright ….. **** now she has me, She overwhelms me, She rocked me to my core. I am helpless in her gaze, Helpless but I still go back for more….. Man I'm not all right … Now that I think of it She didn't answer me last night When I said I loved her, Over dinner last night …… ****, I gave her my heart and she just laughed As I got serious, she laughed then drove away ****! In my car… I'm not okay ,Really… **** She played ME..