Black Poetry : Random Thoughts On The Last Love

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Kori, Sep 20, 2004.

  1. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thoughts of far away love had me progressing on a downward spiral
    Destination=failure:Known, but ignored
    Love mobil, sense stationary
    I sat constantly asking myself rhetorical questions
    Does he love me?
    Is this going to work?
    Based entire life's hapiness on someone
    And he can't be happy with me?
    Why!? Too black? Too bold? Nope!
    ...just physically unavailable.
    He couldn't love when it came to me,
    But for another so easily done...
    Loving her completely.
    Bitter nostalgia arrives unwarrented with Polo scent
    Salty became his words at the time of commitment.
    In love with a man unready
    Didn't know what he wanted, but swore it was me.
    Oooohhh...the irony
    When at first it was I unsure of the journey and he...
    Brought me to reality
    And now, that I know, he's filled with uncertainty.
    We can't ignore love.
    but, he's pretending mine doesn't exist.
    I still feel it though...I still do
    So where are you?
    In the arms of hell making heat
    Couldn't love me for me
    Only an idea of what I should be
    He strung me along,
    my heart dragged across asphalt
    ...He tarnished my love corrupted my innocence
    If you couldn't handle the responsibility that came with my love,
    Why campaign so diligently for the position?
    Didn't think it would take work to love...
    And it shouldn't have.
    But see, you're destructive
    Shattering my sould into an endless pile
    You took for granted that love and I would remain
    Love is transient now, It don't live here no more
    Got tired of lies and deceit,
    exhausted promises,
    tarnished emotions,
    Pack it's innocence and truth and was los
    YOU HEARD ME!!!
    Love got lsot!
    I loved so thoroughly, but i missed a spot
    Bleach don't kill everything.
    But you can't say I never tried...I tried
     
  2. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    upping this for more criticism^^^^
     
  3. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kori, felt the emotion here. Please continue to share your thoughts.

    Always, love the one you're with (Y-O-U).
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The word play here was wonderful. I especially liked these lines: Destination=failure:Known , but ignored
    Love mobil, sense stationary
    Cleverly written, poet.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very nice piece how u dip and dab wit da poetic game
    love this piece here keep droppin it hot
     
  6. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the reply everyone. It was just one of those spare of the moment poems. Im having some trouble with writer's block, so Im trying to get back in the game. I appreciate the responses
     
  7. THEONE

    THEONE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice piece, very well writ,
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very talent ..................
     
  9. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ...the emotion in this poem
    poured like a river...
    like a waterfall of pain
    and bittersweet memories
    I could relate to this deeply...

    Poignant work!
    Sage
     
  10. Kori

    Kori Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank You AngelicSage! I'll never be able to compete with your ability to express but I am happy that you like my work.

    One day Ill be this good: "[...] found my soul mate, though my life with hime I'll never spend, but I do know who he is." :hearts2: Im so crazy about that quote!


    THEONE thank you for the compliment, I aappreciate your peepin this post

    Rich, thanks again!!!
     
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