Black People : Random and Hypothetical

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, May 6, 2011.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Suppose you have a best friend of the opposite sex who you have been friends with for year and they end up getting married, and their spouse calls you and tells you to not to be talking to them anymore, yet your best friend of the opposite sex keeps calling you especially in the wee hours, often and almost daily. What would you do? How would you handle that circumstance?
     
  2. Zim

    Zim Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    put yourself in his position - hes always gonna view you as suspect
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    can you elaborate?
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL....I'm going through this right now

    However this "best friend" is also my ex-fiancée. Mind you he's also my best friend still.

    Now, this situation is difficult for me and I try and tell my ex that we shouldn't be talking, but he insists on getting in contact with me. I tell him that it isn't fair to his new wife and if him and I were married I wouldn't want him to continue carry on a friendship with his ex.

    That's kind of awkward. Thoughts would be running through my head like, "does this person still have feelings for them."

    NOW, as far as if you and this person (assuming that this is you) were ONLY friends and nothing more. I would still take inconsideration for the other spouse. This is THEIR marriage.

    Why is this person calling at "wee hours"? Sounds like they are trying to hide you (or whomever) from their spouse and that in itself isn't right. They should be honest with their spouse. And doing this sneaking around business would merit anyone spouse to think there was something fishy going on with this "opposite-sex friend"...

    If I were you (whomever) I'd tell your (whomever's) "friend" that you would still like to be friends but do not want to get in the way of their marriage situation.

    A best friend is not on the same level as a husband or wife...
     
  5. Zim

    Zim Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm saying the best you can do is talk to her less. I can't speak for most men but I wouldn't allow my wife to be phonin up next man at all kinda hours - friends or not.
     
  6. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Firstly, I might speak on why it's necessary to not speak anymore, to see if their could be a change of mind, because being a friend, I wouldn't want to just quickly drop them off though they be married. However, if they are certain they want it that way, I would respect the request of the wife, and discontinue speaking with their husband letting him know it's not appropriate at all to call at suspicious hours knowing that could make cause him trouble in his relationship with his wife!
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I have had this happen. I demanded that she confess to what was going on. She refused. Then I said fine, invite me over so we can talk in front of him. She refused. I then told her we couldnt continue to talk. She then broke down with the problems in their marriage. I helped her thru a bad situation.





    ..
     
  8. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    I've had many male friends and have met their girlfriends and wives over the years; and he, mine. ----There was never a conflict because our significant others knew it was strictly a platonic relationship.

    But, if a male best friend is regularly calling a ME or any woman in the wee of the morning, then yes, his girlfriend or wife has a valid reason to not be pleased with that behavior. ----- Even as his "friend," I would be suspicious of this behavior and tell him to STOP.

    I would also share with his girlfriend/spouse that I have severed contact with him for my own comfort as well as out of respect for his relationship with her......AND I would tell her that after I have removed myself from the situation, if his behavior continues with another woman down-the-line, then perhaps she should take a deeper look at her relationship with this man.

    ..... This kind of situation is so sadly common.... A woman who has a no-good man will be quick to place the blame on another woman and NOT on him..... will even want to FIGHT the other woman when HE is the liar and cheater.

    Now, yes, there are some no-good women out here who will purposely pursue a married or already-attached man; but "YOU CAN'T RAPE THE WILLING."
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    :11100:
     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    If a married man or woman is calling a "friend" of the opposite sex late at night/in the wee hours of the morning almost daily, then that is a sure red flag that they are having marital problems.......and it sho' don't help an already bad situation by calling a man or woman that time of night/morning.


    Plus, his constant calls to me might also cause some problems in my relationship.

    Respect is a 2-way street for married and single friends.
     
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