Black Poetry : Ramblings of a woman who just realized she was once in love

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Aug 9, 2007.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These are the ramblings of a woman
    who just realized she was once in love


    23 and playing
    2 scared cuz i know
    deep down my heart heavy
    when i say it ain't so
    i flirt and i smile
    i laugh and i tease
    but when push comes to shove
    good girls always leave

    26 and ready
    to hang like a man
    so i have you and whoever
    never taking a stand
    denying every feeling
    every flutter every thought
    woman playing player
    can't never get caught


    she builds up her wall
    she runs and she hides
    theres nothing she can do
    he'll hurt her in time

    lying in bed
    long into the morning
    shades drawn
    eyes squeezed shut
    dying to dream
    of yesterday
    one more time
    before the kids wake
    and today begins

    four years later,
    can't believe its been that long
    can't believe where ive been
    and all that i have
    and, part of me smiles sadly
    silently grieving never being
    with you again
    i keep blaming him and
    not trusting him, but i will
    not allow myself to be loved
    by him, all because, duh,
    hes not you
    there was only you
    every beautiful moment im still left thinking
    whereareyouiwishicouldsharethiswithyou
    ****, its been four years . . .
    your numbers changed
    so many times i don't even know how to
    contact you, but your still around
    like some legendary storm people talk about
    years after it ripped through town
    destroying everything in its path
    i stopped sending short words keeping
    you updated aftr i realized i . . .
    sned photos and wonder if you got them
    months later i would
    get a random call telling me my son is gorgeous
    asking about my life, laughing, reminiscing
    making plans and dates
    that never come because
    you knew how i felt the whole time
    and you never wanted that
    you needed me, you didn't love me
    the way it was obvious 2 everyone, but me,
    that i loved you
    doneanythingforyouanytimeanywhere

    someone who doesn't love me but loves family
    my heart never aches in his presence
    my stomach never leaps into my throat
    he never inspires writing or much of anything else
    but you,
    i hear about you
    i can almost smell you if i close my eyes
    and remember lying in bed at 4am
    talking loud and laughing hard
    pretending to be the girl that i am
    and never allow myself to be
    the outspoken confidant woman
    i stopped being the moment you left
    the moment you left
    the moment i realized i loved you
    i stopped being me
    the me i wanted you to love
    more than i loved you.


    all rough rambling thoughts . . .sorry
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Some relationship feelings become habit, and hang on long after it's over. But it's a habit one needs to kick, to move forward to a new love. Those thoughts rambling their way into a well posed poem.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    deep sight feeling you and sometime life's twist us up into these feelings
    and the love dat once was
     
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