Raising Children In America

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Ralfa'il, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is especially for the few of you who don't have children......


    I frequent Canada a lot and recntly visited Europe and was amazed at how mannerable, well educated, and civil so many black people are in those places compared to us in America.

    Everytime I go outside this country and see how black people carry themselves and get along with eachother and even the others in thier respective communities, I can't help but to wonder "what if".

    It's too late for me in many respects....but my decision not to start a family or raise children in this current state of America is becoming more and more adamant with time.

    I don't like how this society with it's corrupt racist media and dysfunctionaly educational system is spinning our black youth out...especially the black males. I just don't like how our youth are starting to think and behave.



    Whether or not we should stay and fight to change or pick up and go elsewhere as individuals is a good debate but it's not why I started this thread.

    I just want to know are other black people out there having doubts about raising children in this nation?
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can relate brother Ralfa'il. Besides the racism that black children face in this country, the United States has corrupt & materialistic values in general. I have also visited other countries, and my wife is not American (African born & raised in Spain). There is a remarkable difference in the level of respect & outlook on life that black children in other countries have. Everyday my wife tells me that she fears our children growing up with the values that are prevalent in this country. I guess all you can do is teach your children the values you want them to have, and limit their exposure to negative messages.
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree and I have often (even to this very day) thought about leaving America, and I plan to do so. Not only is raising children properly harder in this country (from what I hear), but being well-off and comfortable as an adult is not very promising. I want to enjoy my life and I want to raise children in an environment where they value themselves and don't have to feel that white is right. Panafrica is right, it's not only a race issue, it's an issue surrounded by what America values. That's not what I want my kids to learn and follow. I want them to value the Earth and value love and life, not a stupid piece of paper.
     
  4. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pan:

    I have also visited other countries, and my wife is not American (African born & raised in Spain). There is a remarkable difference in the level of respect & outlook on life that black children in other countries have. Everyday my wife tells me that she fears our children growing up with the values that are prevalent in this country.


    Ahhh...see now that's what I'm talking about.

    A beautiful sista from the continent confident in her femininity with both feet firmly planted in her values and respect for family life.

    I've met so many of the most beautiful jet-black skinned sistaz from Africa with radiant personalities because they haven't grown up in an environmnet that abused them for being darker than the other women and wrecked thier self esteem.

    Ever since leaving Belgium, I said my wife will be either from Ghana or Senegal.



    I guess all you can do is teach your children the values you want them to have, and limit their exposure to negative messages.
    And that's hard to do when they have to go to school (usually a failing public school) to be brainwashed into hating themselves and then face hours more of negative influence coming from the television and radio and other peers who come from homes that don't share the same values.

    No place is perfect, but I've seen better.




    Kente:

    I wish we had a stable nation of our own that we could choose to go to and raise our children with the esteem they need in a peaceful environment.

    The same white man who is screwing up this society will screw up the next one over time.

    The only way we can ensure that our children are brought up the way we want them to be is to control the environment ourselves and direct it's future.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes it is, even though you can teach your children differently, counter messages that they receive in school & TV (you can't watch them 24 hours a day) will still negatively affect them.
     
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel you as well brother. Because I've visited other countries as well. There are differences between people of African descent. The difference is in the western hemisphere Africans were captive prisoners bred to the be slaves and servants. These people were not given in choice. In the eastern hemisphere Africans have freely moved abroad and willingly intergrated into the foreign society, even becoming national. This is especially true in Europe. It was never so clear that Africans are becoming nationals of other countries than I in the past Olympic Games. There were atheletes of African descent representing countries such as Poland, Czechoslovokia and Spain. African Americans are polarized and race struck not of their own fault. An example of this again is the Olympic Games. If an event has one person of African descent no matter what country they are from African Americas will more than often ally with race rather than nation. This can not be said about Africans abroad. We must raise our children accordingly but even more important than that is we must raise our children.

    Peace
     
  7. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    There have been times where I have wondered what it would've been like to have been born in another country. But, as ****** up as America can be sometimes, it's still my home. We have a lot of racism, yes, but there are positive aspects to our society as well.

    I think our time and energy is better spent trying to make living in this country more racially tolerable.
     
  8. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Although I consider myself a pretty conservative brutha on some issues...I'm more on the liberal/progressive side on most issues.

    From what I see, Canada and Europe is more tolerant and liberal when it comes to social situations and although that often has it's draw backs...it usually leads to a better functioning community and more cooperation between the different races and ethnic groups.

    I don't see the segregation in Canada and Europe that I see in America.


    Another thing I liked about both these places was how so many different variety of black people from the West Indies to South America to Africa seemed to grow up around and know about eachother.

    Here...New York is about the only place you can find a real diverse populatoin of black people from around the globe.
    The rest of the country is pretty much standard AfroAmerican with southern roots.

    I'm sorry but that's too monotonous for me at this point.




    Maybe the grass always seems greener on the other side.....

    But a good brutha of mind once told me that the moment he crossed the Atlantic into Europe he felt as if the entire atmosphere changed as if a heavy burden was taken off his chest.

    I felt the same way.



    Karma

    There have been times where I have wondered what it would've been like to have been born in another country. But, as ****** up as America can be sometimes, it's still my home. We have a lot of racism, yes, but there are positive aspects to our society as well.

    I think our time and energy is better spent trying to make living in this country more racially tolerable.


    There won't be any real change until we as AfroAmericans as a whole really want it.

    Most black people here don't seem to have the vision for a change in society.

    Too many are busy talking trash in a celly while driving a Navigator (that will be repossed next week) on 20'' rims to Pizza Hut.

    We're spoiled.


    Our enemy has his game down pat.

    He's been studying history, politics, and government for centuries and know how to keep control and manipulate society.

    He knows that if this got too unbearable for us we'd FORCE a change in society, so instead of letting things get that bad....He gradually brings us down in stages but never does it get bad enough to where we find life totally unbearable.

    He allows a few negros to bling-bling, own a car, and buy a house on credit in America to pacify us while this society continues to digress.


    But I agree with you that America is my home and I shouldn't have to leave it for no one or no reason.

    But when I think about how my children might grow up here, I have second thoughts.
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As I previously stated, there is more to this topic than racism (because racism exist everywhere). I'm also talking about quality of life. America does not have a high quality of life, now so more than ever. This is more apparent to people who have travelled to other countries. It is apparent to people that have lived in other countries. There is more to life than working & paying bills (which is the balance of life in America): work long hours, pay bills, and get into extreme debt trying to acquire some material distractions. I know in Spain cost of living is cheap (although it became more expensive when their currency became the Euro). Everyone is able to live off the minimum wage, which is impossible in the US. This includes being able to afford housing & food. Higher education is free, so is childcare, and hospitals. In parts of Africa (West Africa) the typical work day is from 10AM to 2PM, the rest of the time people enjoy spending time with their family. These are just a handful of examples. The best way to make a comparison though is to visit other countries. Don't just sit in the tourist area, or hit the beach though. Actually go out into the community, and watch how people are living (this is easier if you know someone). I don't want to discourage people from being where they want to be: That is an individual choice. The US has some positive aspects, but for me the positives are becoming outweighed by the negatives. African Americans are the only group in the history of the world that never consider emmigrating, if conditions in their country are not beneficial to them. We seem to think that this (the USA) is all there is...that isn't true. I for one have no desire to remain on a sinking ship, solely because I was born on that ship. As a true PanAfricanist I think on global scales anyway. If there is not a radical change in this country's political-economic structure, I definately don't see myself in the US all my life (ya'll can keep my social security, I probably won't see it anyway). For the meantime I am here, but I seriously doubt that will always be true. Have no fear though, no matter where I go, I'll keep in touch through Destee.com!
     
  10. indya

    indya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Leaving family would be difficult. I would say to anyone looking to move out of the country that it's a good idea to do it when your kids are young or even before you have any. That way they don't have a problem learning a new language and would have less of a struggle trying to fit in with new surroundings.
     
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