What happened to me? i'm not talking about an event, or something that occurred. i'm talking about my selfhood, diminished, myself, undefined, and starting to blur around the edges. When did it happen? When did it start to become easier just to let folks assume they know me... (well) than to correct them, firmly and persistantly, and retain my own personhood? Was it when i stopped being me to start being "Nia's mommy," caretaker, nurturer, all those mommy-kind-of-things? Does motherhood conclude selfhood? And why does selfish feel better than selfless, anyhow? I used to be feisty about myself, proud. Maybe even arrogant. Defensive, walls up, not hurt. No, not hurt: then. Warm, Able, Strong. WAS me. When did the walls fall? why are my inabilities looming long, like a six-o-clock shadow? my life feels like bubblegum at the bottom of my shoe; i can't shake it loose, and every step i take seems to stretch it out. how do you recover from that? or is there a magical point in life where you realize that all you'll ever be is who you are, anyway? (except that you don't like who you are very much, anyhow?) where did i lose myself? i have searched every quiet place, only to find myself gone: vacant, unoccupied. Questions at 29.