Black Poetry : Question

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by phenomenalwoman, Sep 22, 2004.

  1. phenomenalwoman

    phenomenalwoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10
    When I looked to my left
    I could always find you there
    When you looked to your right
    I was the one beside you
    In good times and bad
    No questions asked
    But that was then
    This is now
    Question
    Where were you when I needed you most?
    I never asked for your heart to stay somewhere it didn’t belong
    A simple matter of discretion
    Understandable
    But the knife wound to the back that I was laid up on
    The bold face lies to hands that fed you
    That now washes themselves of you
    Trifling
    You never know who your real friends are
    Until the chips fall
    In this case it was me who fell
    To the ground
    And would still be there
    If I counted on you to pick me up
    I’m happy to relinquish the leash I walked you on
    It is my present
    To the one that wipes your *** now
    Good riddance
     
  2. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Messages:
    4,909
    Likes Received:
    613
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    (RF) Technician
    Location:
    ( Alonewolf ) California.. by way of the LOU
    Ratings:
    +795
    Kicking him to the curb.. Lovely!


    " You never know who your real friends are
    Until the chips fall "

    So True, So True.. keep flowing.
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    You worded this....on target. I just loved the way you phrased these lines:
    You never know who your real friends are
    Until the chips fall
    In this case it was me who fell
    To the ground
    And would still be there
    If I counted on you to pick me up

    But this whole piece was so on point poet.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    guess he's out now !
    this was awesome and making room for me ....
    love it !
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2003
    Messages:
    12,660
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    somewhere ova da rainbow....
    Ratings:
    +219
    this was a good flow i enjouyed it...
    kick him to the curb !!!! indeed
    nice write
     
  6. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Messages:
    7,007
    Likes Received:
    160
    Occupation:
    day care provider (own business)
    Location:
    Brick City
    Ratings:
    +161
    If you can't get along...move on. It's better to find "truth" in something/one before the heart gets to tangled. sweet drop, one that was just due. thanks for sharing this.
     
  7. phenomenalwoman

    phenomenalwoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10
    thanks everyone, this piece was about my ex, he emailed me yesterday. he never fails at getting my blood boiling, but i guess i am the stupid one, i read them. but everything is still cool with me and my guy. i hope love doesnt turned to hate that quickly, although he did make me mad this morning so you might be hearing about that later
     
  8. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Messages:
    3,429
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    lend me some sugar.. l am your neighbor
    Ratings:
    +70
    one of those mornings when curb-kicking is best...
    l'd hate to be him right about now...

    the_dunn,
    jh.
     
  9. phenomenalwoman

    phenomenalwoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10
    lol. thanks j'hiah, i don't live in the same state as my ex anymore. and i was just experincing some temporary frustration with my current guy this morning. so its all good
     
  10. Pyramid

    Pyramid Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2004
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Kick on my friend
    Kick on
    His his loss, your gain.
    But I feel you all the way.
    I've been there myself
     
Loading...