Black Women : Question

Sister River, thanks for getting back to my question and I hope you don't think I'm being difficult in addressing your question. But I guess my answer would be that I would need to know what our brothers need in order for me to be able to tell them how I can 'support' them. The word support says to me that someone might want something from me that they feel they need. If I don't know what there needs are then what I give may only be what I think they should have which wouldn't be helpful at all. Do you follow me? Now on a generic level I could tell brothers I support them, but what does that really mean and how do I demonstrate that, especially if it's something that I may not agree with?

If some brothers would respond to your question in this thread, then I could get a better sense as to what they need from me that I can (or cannot) support them with.

Peace,
Queenie :)
 
As far as females who are not my family members, they can provide support in the following method:

GIVE ME YO MONEY AND JUST SHUT UP.

Joke :)

Here are some real methods of support that I need from any woman who believes she has the capacity to keep my attention for longer than 5 minutes:

I have to be able to see my weakness in her as my strengths.

She should be straightforward and respectable of my integrity and straightforwardness as well.

She should be an active PLAYA HATA. If she sees that I am doing something that IS ENTIRELY WRONG. SHE NEEDS TO START HATIN. The Rod of Correction is the best one.

She needs to be herself and she needs to convince me that she is firm in her own decision making, I Get sick of you females who always consult other females about decisions that regard me.

Stop taking advice from other women about ME. Those women have never been with me before thus, they have no empirical knowledge of me and their advice is always wrong.

I need a woman who is not afraid of me, I RUN OVER AND ABUSE THE Minds OF WEAK WOMEN.

A woman that knows how to tell me to SHUT UP.

A Woman that is my secret repository of love and support, the person I can take all my problems too and she gives me constructive advice about them and is honest with me when she cannot help.

That is a sample of the support I need from a woman who wants me to be with her. The reason why I request this type of support is because this is what I provide.
 
So Brother Manasia…you’re looking for a woman like me, right?... :angel1: (just kidding)


I think that in the responses, we started to see that if we approach the question, generally, grouping all of our men together, we must break the needs into categories as stated before such as socially, spiritually, etc.

However, I feel that supporting our brothers would essentially be an individual approach, as jazzymoonchild also stated.

In short, I think that the most effective support you can offer a brother in your life is to first create a warm, accepting, and positive environment where genuine interpersonal communication is present. It is vital that he come to terms with his own emotions, strengths and weaknesses, accepting them and allowing them in…not being afraid to let them show, being real…and allowing himself to experience a deep realness which would lead him into inner congruence. From this point, he will then be able to effectively and openly communicate thus allowing those around him to do the same…even within a supportive role.

It’s difficult for most of us to allow ourselves to feel…particularly that someone cares for, accepts us, admires us, and prizes us.

When a person who is loved appreciatively and not possessively, they will bloom and develop into their own unique self. However, it is important that we understand that everyone has their own ideas, purpose, and values and we must be cognizant not to integrate subtle patterns of control, causing the person to become a carbon copy of ourselves instead of the separate, professional, healthy, positive, driven person they have the right to become.

Essentially, support them...allowing them to discover their path through communication...true, interpersonal communication which doesn't really exist between men and women today. Communication is not only key…but it is the beginning...
 
MANASIAC said:
Here are some real methods of support that I need from any woman who believes she has the capacity to keep my attention for longer than 5 minutes:

I have to be able to see my weakness in her as my strengths.

She should be straightforward and respectable of my integrity and straightforwardness as well.

She should be an active PLAYA HATA. If she sees that I am doing something that IS ENTIRELY WRONG. SHE NEEDS TO START HATIN. The Rod of Correction is the best one.

She needs to be herself and she needs to convince me that she is firm in her own decision making, I Get sick of you females who always consult other females about decisions that regard me.

Stop taking advice from other women about ME. Those women have never been with me before thus, they have no empirical knowledge of me and their advice is always wrong.

I need a woman who is not afraid of me, I RUN OVER AND ABUSE THE Minds OF WEAK WOMEN.

A woman that knows how to tell me to SHUT UP.

A Woman that is my secret repository of love and support, the person I can take all my problems too and she gives me constructive advice about them and is honest with me when she cannot help.

That is a sample of the support I need from a woman who wants me to be with her. The reason why I request this type of support is because this is what I provide.

This is good advice. However, as most of us women can testify, whenever we try to do most of these things, in general, after a man says that this is what he wants, we become the Evil Jezebelles that are out to ball break and emasculate our brothers..........

That said.... I do want to add that perhaps we, as women, need to lear how to listem to what a man is trying to say. I've found that most men will not sit down and tlak about his feelings..... We have to learn how to listen to what is not being said. Is the brother afraid? Is he feeling down? Does he feel like his manhood is being challanged? Brothers go there a lot of there in the White man's world.. Unfortunately, they usually bring it home and drop it at our feet, asking us to fix it. And we don't know how.
 

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