Hi Nia ... interesting question. Actually, I find the way you posed it more interesting than the question itself. It seems the focus is the consequence (pregnancy) of the indiscretion, rather than the indiscretion itself.
There was a time when I would have responded like most before me (men & women's thread) and say that I'd immediately kick him to the curb, put him out, divorce him and never speak to him again. Ahhh, but I'm older now, seeing people as they are, human, prone to an occasional bad decision and error in judgment. Certainly there are some bad decisions more damaging than others, and having sex with another woman while married, would certainly rank right near the top of the list. But I think all things must be considered.
What is the relationship like, not counting this indiscretion? Is he sincerely sorry for going outside the relationship? Has he tried to make amends? Is he a good man that simply made a bad decision? Does he love me? Do I love him? Does he deserve (based on the relationship prior to this act) another chance? Does he realize the danger he put us in, by having (obviously) unprotected sex with another person? These are just a few of the things that would contribute to my course of action.
The fact that a child was born as a result of his act, would probably be the least of my concerns. The child is innocent and really has nothing to do with what happened.
Many women, for ages, have stayed with their husbands in spite of their occasional lapses in fidelity. I personally have never been through this but am willing to assume, based on the fact that so many women remain in the marriage ... that there is more to it than meets the eye.
I don't know what I'd do if in this situation.
Great Question!
Destee
There was a time when I would have responded like most before me (men & women's thread) and say that I'd immediately kick him to the curb, put him out, divorce him and never speak to him again. Ahhh, but I'm older now, seeing people as they are, human, prone to an occasional bad decision and error in judgment. Certainly there are some bad decisions more damaging than others, and having sex with another woman while married, would certainly rank right near the top of the list. But I think all things must be considered.
What is the relationship like, not counting this indiscretion? Is he sincerely sorry for going outside the relationship? Has he tried to make amends? Is he a good man that simply made a bad decision? Does he love me? Do I love him? Does he deserve (based on the relationship prior to this act) another chance? Does he realize the danger he put us in, by having (obviously) unprotected sex with another person? These are just a few of the things that would contribute to my course of action.
The fact that a child was born as a result of his act, would probably be the least of my concerns. The child is innocent and really has nothing to do with what happened.
Many women, for ages, have stayed with their husbands in spite of their occasional lapses in fidelity. I personally have never been through this but am willing to assume, based on the fact that so many women remain in the marriage ... that there is more to it than meets the eye.
I don't know what I'd do if in this situation.
Great Question!
Destee