Black Relationships : Question for the Brothers

[Nia Maishani]

Both scenarios you identified UPTOWNE (tricked into marriage by saying baby is yours/infidelity leading to conception of another man's child) are ones I have seen among family members as well as friends and acquaintances. More often, it has been the former.

That sentiment you offered (no problem raising another man's child for it will always be [your] baby) is the one I have noticed and possibly is the reason I began this particular thread. It seems that many men decide to simply overlook the circumstances and go ahead and pretend that they fathered the child, and allow the child to grow up thinking that their stepfather is their biological. On the surface, this seems a noble and honorable deed. However, a disservice is done to the child by denying him/her his/her RIGHT to know the true identity of his/her biological, regardless of what type of man he may be. A disservice is also done to the biological father, particularly if he has no idea he has fathered the child (I know of such cases). The child grows up searching in futility to answers about why he/she looks and IS different from the rest of the siblings and parents even, and thus goes through a lifelong identity crisis. I have witnessed this happen in my own family.

In addition, just because she has stepped out on you during your marriage, does that really mean she necessarily loves the "other man" who fathered her child?

 

[Nia Maishani]

Originally posted by dnommo
i would thank her for the time we've spent together as i served her with divorce papers and an APARTMENT GUIDE just so she could find a new place to stay...

Uh...Dnommo, ya heart does not have a built in on/off switch, does it?

I'm with you on this one, $$RICH$$.

 

[$$RICH$$]

no she may not love him but the thought of cheating
and the fact of another man child she gotta go that all
it is too it .....no way will i play dis game and later become
the blame or put to shame in this mixed love thang
her *** would be out i can see (QQ)

 

[Nia Maishani]

I'm only letting you peeps in on this because I consider ya family, and I know you will not pass unflattering judment on me or my family because of our "issues". MY older sister looks nothing like MY father. My situation is more peculiar, however. Beginning during our adulthood, my sister has seriously entertained the suspicion that she and I may not really have the same father. My sister hardly resembles even my mother, and she was born prior to my parents' marriage, while my father was in the service. Although I am the second child, I was named after my father (???). My father later (many years later) had a child with another woman (long after my parents' divorce). Back in March, I finally saw her for the first time ever since she was two years old, she is now 22, and the woman is the spitting image of our father, though we do not have the same mother, and she has a different complexion than our father (his and mine are similar though he's a bit darker). I mean she even walks like him! He had denied being her father for some time, until a paternity test was taken many years ago. He also has a son about 18, who looks JUST LIKE ME (though we have different mothers); actually, he and I look more alike than we look like our dad, and our mothers look totally different from one another.

Now my sister with whom I have the same mother has had a lifelong identity crisis, for reasons previously unclear. Her HUSBAND has three children (one with her, two with previous wife or girlfriend). My nephew looks just like my brother-in-law. My brother-in-law's daughter looks even more remarkably like him. His oldest (son) on the other hand? No way that is his child. The boy looks nothing like either parent, and my brother-in-law acknowledges that she cheated on him. Nevertheless, he pays child support for both children even though he is not allowed to see them and she refuses to have a paternity test done (after all these years, how can you blame her though? He should have gone there years ago).

Kemestry wrote:
If she has stepped out on you during the marriage it means she doesnt love you, you are incapacitated, or she is seriously f***ed in the head.

So does the same explanation apply to men who cheat on their women?


$$RICH$$ness, you are some kinda character, bruh.

 

[$$RICH$$]

yes it apply for whom ever da wrongdores be !!!!
male or female.........hell don't nobody wanna lying cheating
lo down so call lover like dat....but o' well we have so many
blind rock headed people around these days .....