Black Relationships : Question about size when dating

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by JoWillie, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. JoWillie

    JoWillie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Whats up with not dating or choosing plus size women? The media and the majority of white men describe the ideal woman as being skinny, bony, gaunt, thin or boyish-looking.

    Why do black men who are huge-size have the nerve to follow after white men with this same ideal?

    I’m not small, but I’m not a skinny-Minnie either. A large size (big stomach) male I was introduced to had the nerve to ask me my size over the phone before he met me in person. He saw a picture of me and thought I was cute, but wanted to know if I was fat. I asked him what different would it make. It would be rude of me to ask him how much he weighted. Of course he said it didn’t make a different, he just wanted to know.

    I thought it was an insult for him to ask me if I was fat before he met me. So, just for the hell of it, I told him I had size, not to large and not to small and that it would not hurt if I lost some weight. I wasn’t specific at all. Well guess what, I never heard from the man again. So, what’s up with that?

    Later I was told he didn’t like “BIG” women. He preferred his woman small. What a laugh. I’m glad I didn’t meet him, too hollow.

    I’ve heard not only him but several men say this…it’s tough for women of size.

    I wonder why over weight women do not appeal to over weight men, but these same men expect small women to want them? :rolleyes:
     
  2. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well I am a big dude, and I prefer small women my girlfriend is 5'11 and 135. I Think it is a personal preference. I used to get dissed by big women all the time, that is I rolled with small folk.
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it is sort of hypocritical for big men to not want to date big women, but that's preference. I think in general men just don't find big women attractive. I like small petite women. Ideal height and weight is about 5'5 120-130 lbs. There is nothing wrong with only wanting to date people that keep themselves healthy...and being over-weight is not healthy. It's not a black man/ white man thing either. We're talking about over-weight women...not women that are curvatious or thick in all the right places. Men just don't find women that don't care to keep themselves fit as attractive. People should not blame men...they should blame themselves IF they stop caring how they look or how much they weigh.
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    if you eat only nuts, fruits, grains and vegetables.
    if you drink lots of good water.

    if you get daily exercise.

    you will not have that problem.

    good luck.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    JoWillie:

    This is a matter of preference. Some men are attracted to thin women, others are attracted to big women. Some men are attracted to short women, while others are attracted to tall women. Of course you will find some who don't make a difference either way. You should realize that the majority of men do have a physical preference about the women they like, and try not to figure out why! There are plenty of men who like big women, focus on those who do, and don't worry about those who don't!
     
  6. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good word Pan...good word.​
     
  7. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *smh*
    Kente ...I'm 5'5 and 3 and some change, is there a problem with that? are you going to tell me, you wouldn't date me?
    pan ...do you have a problem as well? if you wasn't married...would you date me?
    jamesfrphilly ...I eat and drink healthy, yeah ...and I'm still 3 and change, now what about a date from you? ...am I too hugh for you as well?

    I'm still yall " Deep Black Sister" ...what's up? ...holla
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, you'll always be my deep black sista, but I have my preferences as far as appearance. Honestly, I'm not attracted to any heavy women. I don't look down on plus size women or anything like that. I don't think I'm better or that thin, fit women are superior...I'm just not sexually attracted to over-weight women. I have to be straight-up and honest, because to be in a relationship, there has to be sexual attraction IMO. The same way some women won't like my appearance for whatever reason. Maybe I'm too short, or not buff enough....or just plain ugly to them. That's their preference. I don't sweat it.
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    QueenT I never gave my preference. However since you asked, I don't have one. When I was single I dated tall women & short women. I've dated thin women & big women....I was attracted to all of them!
     
  10. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay Jamesfrphilly ...where you at QQn
     
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