Black Poetry : pull the trigger

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Derrick Jay, Apr 16, 2002.

  1. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    she told him to pull the trigger
    whet her up wearing no vest
    had to think long and hard
    this genocide would be a mark
    blemishing eternal souls
    she bared all to his piece
    no fear in her eyes
    truly a little girl lost
    question is
    was the price too low
    to deny her request
    only a split second remains
    as cain paces back and forth
    awaiting his arrival
    she told him to pull the trigger
    forget all his fears
    through tear stained resolve
    a decision was made warm
    he couldn't take this sentence
    didn't want to face the years
    so he reached into a drawer
    grabbed his silencer
    and continued...
     
  2. Rashad

    Rashad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Definitely like Whoa!!

    Tyte Scribe here Poet!! But I wonder what happened when he continued?? Hmmmmmmmm...I'll let my mind run wit it though...Anyway this here is a very unique piece and I enjoyed!! Thanks!
     
  3. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanx Rashad...i was going to put the ending on it, then i thought it would be better for the reader to draw their own conclusions...who knows, i may put the ending on it later.

    One,
    Derrick Jay
     
  4. Rashad

    Rashad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I figured that was the case...

    That's why I love this piece even more Bruh! Tyte Scribe!!
     
  5. GQ

    GQ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Derrick,

    Makes one go....hmmm for sure.

    Tight per usual!!!

    :peace:
    GQ
     
  6. brotherman

    brotherman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Phat analogy, I gotta give ya big ups for the skill displayed. Silencer, no doubt.
     
  7. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks brotherman...i was wondering if i'd made it a bit too obvious, but after going over it a few times i think it comes through nicely...

    One,
    Derrick Jay
     
  8. deepgrrl

    deepgrrl Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Derrick! I had to read this piece several times myself before it hit me! Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but a mere casual read sent this one flying right over my head -- but that's a GOOD thing! Metaphor shouldn't be blatantly obvious. It feels better when you have to work for it! ;) Masterful!
     
  9. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ahh...thanx, i appreciate that. i guess it is as elusive as i had hoped...

    One,
    Derrick Jay
     
  10. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    JAY JAY JAY

    feeling the flava done
    feeling it
    mmm
    this got street flava

    peace

    dssNY

    lovedided this sh*t
     
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