Black People : Publicly & Negatively Criticizing Our Own

Publicly and Negatively Criticizing Our Own ...

  • hurts us

    Votes: 19 55.9%
  • helps us

    Votes: 5 14.7%
  • doesn't matter

    Votes: 10 29.4%

  • Total voters
    34
karmashines said:
There is no need to air our dirty laundry to non-black audiences who already see us in a stereotypical light anyway.

When it comes to the white media, we should only support positive images. Negative things should be discussed among ourselves and solved by ourselves.

kARMASHINES...I agree with your premise wholeheartedly... Though this statement is best directed at Destee, let me just generally say that African people at this website, as well as some whom I've talked to personally, just dont like the idea of being CRITICIZED at all...whether publicly or privately...

Granted, No One, including myself, LIKES being criticized, but I can hear my grandmother, and olther elders telling me, that everything we like is not necessarily good for us, and everything that we do not like is not necessarily bad for us... That is the issue we have to confront, whether we are willing to deal with the pain of getting in shape - as brother RADICAL FAITH drew that analogy - or are we going to continue floating along, eating our cake, waiting for the doctor to diagnose us with diabetes(which is MORE painful!)?

One thing we have to come to some under understanding of both the positive and negative aspects of criticism... It is not, as some suggest, TOTALLY negative... It has it's positive aspects much in the way of nuclear energy... It can destroy, it can be used to enhance one's life... I think too many of us deal with the connotation and throw away the denotation of the word - and that based on our own experiences with the act... It is not the act of criticism that hurts, but what one chooses to do with it, or not do with it, that oft hurts...

Again, though, where does one constructively instruct, and where does one destroy another's confidence??? I guess it would be in how one addresses a person, but that even depends on the addressee... Some handle criticism well, and some cannot even be told that they are doing anything wrong because of their sensitivity... No matter HOW such a person is addressed, they cannot handle being criticised... They don't like criticism, and aren't open to it under any circumstances...

Others WANT a critique... They're strong internally, and can handle even the most harsh things being said to them... They understand the difference between an honest critique, and someone seeking to tear them down.... This thing, in my humble opinion depends on where one's head is, where they are at internally... Some can handle public criticism as a by product of living in a world where all people are put on blast at one point or another... Others feel that it is possible to isolate African Americans from public scrutiny... I don't think that's possible in our world at present, thereforeI don't think it is realistic to entertain that as a possibility...

Peace!
Isaiah
 
I think that publicly criticising black folks does make others look at us in a bad way, but publicly acting a fool is worse. I agree with Isaiah, most black folks that I have come across just don't like hearing what's wrong with them. This site (for example) is here to discuss issues related to black people, and people still get their feelings hurt when someone points out something that needs to change. I think when black folks specifically go in front of white folks and other races to complain, that's wrong. Why do that, white foks and other races can care less if we're disfunctional. The problem is, it's not just limited to that scenerio. We can be in one room, nothing but black people and someone would still have a problem with criticism. If we as black people all discover the power of Telekinesis , maybe then we won't have to discuss our faults. Until then, if any black people want to move past our problems, they better be ready to discuss what they are.

My vote is, it helps us to discuss our problems openly and uncensored, amongst eachother, with no non-black people around.
 
We should not tear down useless there is a plan to rebuild. Some call it constructive criticism, I call it exposing to dispose. When we take ownership of our fault for ourselves we regain power over the situation. For example if a man has a child out of wedlock and is paying child support and spending time with his child and the mother calls him to complain about how he needs to do more and what the child doesn't have and etc., what would the normal reaction be? The man would more than likely plead his case to the mother and get into a tet-for tat argument and whatever that child needs at the moment will lost in the argument. What the man should do is tell her she is right and that there is not too much that he could do for his child and ask what is it the child need and make a way to provide that need. Notice I said need and not want. Need is "my child needs gym shoes to play in" want is "my child needs Jordans to play in". Let me stop right here and say that I'm in no way trying to vilify the mother in this story. Lord knows the frustrations of raising a child boils over sometimes and things are said out of that frustration. What I am trying to illustrate is the proper way to take criticism and turn it into positive results. In the solution the man saw the fault in himself, diplomatically regain power of the situation and provided a solution. This is why we need to openly recognize and admit our faults to eachother. By doing this we will gain support from eachother. Then we must formulate a solution to these faults and move forward. If the plan doesn't work then admit your failure, change your plan and seek help from the support you've established. Do not open your problems up to people who can not offer support or a feasible solution unique to your situation. This applies to anyone. Also be willing to listen and compromise.....



Peace.......
 
Radical Faith said:
We should not tear down useless there is a plan to rebuild. Some call it constructive critism, I call it exposing to dispose. When we take ownship of our fault for ourselves we regain power over the situation. For example if a man has a child out of wedlock and is paying child support and spending time with his child and the mother calls him to complain about how he needs to do more and what the child doesn't have and etc., what would the normal reaction be? The man would more than likely plead his case to the mother and get into a tet-for tat arguement and whatever that child needs at the moment will lost in the arguement. What the man should do is tell her she is right and that there is not too much that he could do for his child and ask what is it the child need and make a way to provide that need. Notice I said need and not want. Need is "my child needs gym shoes to play in" want is "my child needs Jordans to play in". Let me stop right here and say that I'm in no way trying to villify the mother in this story. Lord knows the frustrations of raising a child boils over sometimes and things are said out of that frustration. What I am trying to illustrate is the proper way to take critism and turn it into positive results. In the solution the man saw the fault in himself, diplomatically regain power of the situation and provided a solution. This is why we need to openly recognize and admit our faults to eachother. By doing this we will gain support from eachother. Then we must formulate a solution to these faults and move forward. If the plan doesn't work then admit your failure, change your plan and seek help from the support you've established. Do not open your problems up to people who can not offer support or a feasible solution unique to your situation. This applies to anyone. Also be willing to listen and compromise.....



Peace.......

Brother Radical, AMEN - in other words, I find no fault in what you've just said(smile!)

Peace!
Isaiah
 

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