Black People : Publicly & Negatively Criticizing Our Own

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Jun 15, 2005.

?

Publicly and Negatively Criticizing Our Own ...

  1. hurts us

    19 vote(s)
    55.9%
  2. helps us

    5 vote(s)
    14.7%
  3. doesn't matter

    10 vote(s)
    29.4%
  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    Hello Family,

    We've had a few discussions here on the forum regarding the pros and cons of Black folk openly criticizing other Black folk.

    As many of you may probably know, i don't think we should do this, as it only adds to all the negative things that other folk say about us. I think it's more important that we learn to forgive each other for whatever "errors" may have occurred, and focus on the positive. I think airing the faults of our leaders (we are all leaders) and Ancestors publicly, does us more harm than good.

    Of course there is an opposing view on this subject, where many feel that we can't properly move forward, if we're not willing to air the dirty laundry, errors, etc., of Black people.

    So i thought we'd take a poll ... to see how the majority of us think.

    Please post in the poll above and leave your comments, if any, below.

    Thanks in advance to all who leave comments, as i'm looking to adjust my thinking if necessary. Perhaps there is a time and place ... a proper way ... for us to do this. If you have suggestions on what that proper way is, if in fact it exists, please share that too.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Akilah

    Akilah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2003
    Messages:
    1,346
    Likes Received:
    33
    Occupation:
    Scheduling Coordinator for large Health System
    Location:
    Da' Gump
    Ratings:
    +36
    I don't really agree with us "publicly airing our dirty laundry", unless it is done in a forum such as Tavis Smiley & Tom Joyner's annual black think tank symposiums, but I do believe that black folk must come together to dialogue and work on solutions to the challenges we face in order for us to move forward and attain/retain our greatness. We cannot afford the luxury of hiding our heads in the sand... the costs are too high. One example of this is the "Down Low" phenomena as it relates to the lethal AIDS rates amongst our sistahs... Nobody want's to talk about it. Folk think it's just another "media ploy" , more "brutha bashing" if you will, but this is a real problem with devastating repercussions... and if we cannot even discuss it amongst ourselves in private circles, church/temple/mosque, Destee.com etc... then perhaps a public discussion is warranted if it will save lives.

    Much Peace ~
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,578
    Likes Received:
    19
    Ratings:
    +19
    There is no need to air our dirty laundry to non-black audiences who already see us in a stereotypical light anyway.

    When it comes to the white media, we should only support positive images. Negative things should be discussed among ourselves and solved by ourselves.
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,008
    Likes Received:
    11,483
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,745
    my policy:

    i disagree with global rants about ALL black people.
    i will not say that all black people do this or all black people do that.

    i agree with criticism and ostracism of individual black people.
    i don't have a problem calling Micheal Jackson a freak.

    just as all black people are not bad, you can not say that all black people are good either.

    there must be a police function.
    we have certain individuals who are bad people.
    we must have a mechanism for the removal of these type from the group.
    there are parasites who take advantage of the good nature of black folk.
    this must be stopped.
     
  5. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2003
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4
    James, I never had a problem with you calling Michael Jackson a freak or weird or crazy or eccentric. No doubt about that. Just the pedophile part, I disagree with. If Jordy Chandler had testified and was convincing-I'd had no problem with that characterization of Michael Jackson.Reasons he did not testify was $20 million dollars worth paid by an insurance company and not out of Michael's pockets-incidentally.
    I absolutely gots no problem criticizing Black folks who are destructive or ignorant or do something very stupid. I could be in either one of those categories myself.
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,008
    Likes Received:
    11,483
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,745
    is there something you need to share?

    :jump:
     
  7. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    kARMASHINES...I agree with your premise wholeheartedly... Though this statement is best directed at Destee, let me just generally say that African people at this website, as well as some whom I've talked to personally, just dont like the idea of being CRITICIZED at all...whether publicly or privately...

    Granted, No One, including myself, LIKES being criticized, but I can hear my grandmother, and olther elders telling me, that everything we like is not necessarily good for us, and everything that we do not like is not necessarily bad for us... That is the issue we have to confront, whether we are willing to deal with the pain of getting in shape - as brother RADICAL FAITH drew that analogy - or are we going to continue floating along, eating our cake, waiting for the doctor to diagnose us with diabetes(which is MORE painful!)?

    One thing we have to come to some under understanding of both the positive and negative aspects of criticism... It is not, as some suggest, TOTALLY negative... It has it's positive aspects much in the way of nuclear energy... It can destroy, it can be used to enhance one's life... I think too many of us deal with the connotation and throw away the denotation of the word - and that based on our own experiences with the act... It is not the act of criticism that hurts, but what one chooses to do with it, or not do with it, that oft hurts...

    Again, though, where does one constructively instruct, and where does one destroy another's confidence??? I guess it would be in how one addresses a person, but that even depends on the addressee... Some handle criticism well, and some cannot even be told that they are doing anything wrong because of their sensitivity... No matter HOW such a person is addressed, they cannot handle being criticised... They don't like criticism, and aren't open to it under any circumstances...

    Others WANT a critique... They're strong internally, and can handle even the most harsh things being said to them... They understand the difference between an honest critique, and someone seeking to tear them down.... This thing, in my humble opinion depends on where one's head is, where they are at internally... Some can handle public criticism as a by product of living in a world where all people are put on blast at one point or another... Others feel that it is possible to isolate African Americans from public scrutiny... I don't think that's possible in our world at present, thereforeI don't think it is realistic to entertain that as a possibility...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2004
    Messages:
    3,756
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +34
    I think that publicly criticising black folks does make others look at us in a bad way, but publicly acting a fool is worse. I agree with Isaiah, most black folks that I have come across just don't like hearing what's wrong with them. This site (for example) is here to discuss issues related to black people, and people still get their feelings hurt when someone points out something that needs to change. I think when black folks specifically go in front of white folks and other races to complain, that's wrong. Why do that, white foks and other races can care less if we're disfunctional. The problem is, it's not just limited to that scenerio. We can be in one room, nothing but black people and someone would still have a problem with criticism. If we as black people all discover the power of Telekinesis , maybe then we won't have to discuss our faults. Until then, if any black people want to move past our problems, they better be ready to discuss what they are.

    My vote is, it helps us to discuss our problems openly and uncensored, amongst eachother, with no non-black people around.
     
  9. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,818
    Likes Received:
    137
    Occupation:
    Operations Manager
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +137
    We should not tear down useless there is a plan to rebuild. Some call it constructive criticism, I call it exposing to dispose. When we take ownership of our fault for ourselves we regain power over the situation. For example if a man has a child out of wedlock and is paying child support and spending time with his child and the mother calls him to complain about how he needs to do more and what the child doesn't have and etc., what would the normal reaction be? The man would more than likely plead his case to the mother and get into a tet-for tat argument and whatever that child needs at the moment will lost in the argument. What the man should do is tell her she is right and that there is not too much that he could do for his child and ask what is it the child need and make a way to provide that need. Notice I said need and not want. Need is "my child needs gym shoes to play in" want is "my child needs Jordans to play in". Let me stop right here and say that I'm in no way trying to vilify the mother in this story. Lord knows the frustrations of raising a child boils over sometimes and things are said out of that frustration. What I am trying to illustrate is the proper way to take criticism and turn it into positive results. In the solution the man saw the fault in himself, diplomatically regain power of the situation and provided a solution. This is why we need to openly recognize and admit our faults to eachother. By doing this we will gain support from eachother. Then we must formulate a solution to these faults and move forward. If the plan doesn't work then admit your failure, change your plan and seek help from the support you've established. Do not open your problems up to people who can not offer support or a feasible solution unique to your situation. This applies to anyone. Also be willing to listen and compromise.....



    Peace.......
     
  10. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    Brother Radical, AMEN - in other words, I find no fault in what you've just said(smile!)

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
Loading...