Black Relationships : Problem or Not???

Zora said:
.........I love men..............
if you loved men, you'd go out and get yourself one.
requiring a man to be your perfect lifetime mate just to get a date is counter productive.
if you're in your thirties and never had a boyfriend, it means you don't really want one.

you seem to be playing head games, so busy contemplating your navel, you let life pass you by.
you better get in the game before your clock runs out.
 
I would advise you to date Zora, if you don't actually go out and date...how will you find the one you are looking for? Mr. Right is not going to magically appear before you...you have to seek him out (or at least put yourself in a position to be seen). That isn't going to happen if you are in the kitchen, or on your couch. Dating is a selection process, it is a way to determine what you do or don't want in a man. It isn't necessary to sleep with every man (or any man) you date, but by all means enjoy yourself! While the dating process can be tedious, and in many cases disappointing, there is no reward without taking risk. Life is too short to live so cautiously! Good Luck in your search.
 
panafrica said:
Dating is a selection process, it is a way to determine what you do or don't want in a man. It isn't necessary to sleep with every man (or any man) you date, but by all means enjoy yourself! While the dating process can be tedious, and in many cases disappointing, there is no reward without taking risk. Life is too short to live so cautiously! Good Luck in your search.
I think that this is definitely the outlook that I need to put into practice. I admitted to thinking too much at times (most times) and I just need to view dating as a selection process and get out there and do. Thanks!

BTW, saw the friend who told me in the first place that I think to much and just needed to start dating. Told her about a guy that I was thinking of going out with and her first comment was that he wasn't good enough for me.

Life is short and like all the risks I take in other areas of life, I need to take the risk in this one.
 
BTW, saw the friend who told me in the first place that I think to much and just needed to start dating. Told her about a guy that I was thinking of going out with and her first comment was that he wasn't good enough for me.

This guy might not be good enough for you...but that is your decision, not hers! He also might be the most wonderful man you ever met...you don't know until you give it a try! BTW, some of my wife's friends (co-workers really) thought I wasn't good enough for her, yet we have had years of happiness....her "friends" are still alone.
 
I think you are being safe and that's never a problem. Maybe you do need to just hang-out with guys and have fun (not specifically sex). There's nothing wrong with having someone of the opposite sex as a friend. If you feel like you want to sleep with them and you guys have an understanding about the situation...why not? If you think you'll fall too deep...maybe you should'nt. I think it's just up to you to be honest with yourself. I don't think you should have to go without sex just because you don't have a potential boyfriend/ husband. No one knows where their relationship will lead. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you're the only one. Doesn't mean your relationship is strong and secure. Doesn't mean there's a bond. It's just a label. Have fun, make sure you're being taken care of and don't worry abou a relationship. They are overrated anyways once you get one unless you're one of the lucky ones.
 

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