I also judge people by their actions. That being said....I hate to break this to you, but who a person decides to have children with is part of their actions (quite a significant part)! Marriage is not simply an agreement between two people. It is the joining of two families...it is the joining of two communities (if the husband and bride are from different communities). The benefits of this union go to both parties (both communities). The compromises and agreements made in this union go to both parties (both communities). What happens when these two communities have opposite goals? The results can be chaotic! Maybe not for the parties of the union/marriage, but they can be for the communities which have opposite goals.
Many people who recognize these contradictions reject it....and they have reason to! Indeed, brother James you seem to think that black folks have to accept everything that comes their way (regardless of its possible negative consequences) in the name of "peace": Homosexuality...that's okay. Interracial mixing...we're all the same when the lights go off. Single Parent homes...black kids don't need no daddy! Thug/Criminal behavior....it's all good! The truth is, the black community doesn't have to accept anything which isn't beneficial to its prosperity, continuance, and growth. Indeed the black community is not obligated to accept people in Interracial relationships. The only persons obligated to accept them is their parents (and in many cases the parents don't either)!