Black Poetry : POWER SHIFT

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by garlicsalt99, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. garlicsalt99

    garlicsalt99 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    POWER SHIFT

    There was a time in my life when I begged and I pleaded
    I swallowed my pride, and many times, I conceded
    To your whims, fits and tantrums, not giving thought to what I’ve been through
    Anything to stay on your good side I surrendered and I’ve given in to
    Hoping to access the love that you told me was mine
    But I guess what they say is true, it’s a wicked generation that seeks a sign
    And even sadder are those who don’t see the sign, walking around with blinders on
    I was so sprung and so whipped, I couldn’t see you doing wrong
    And when I did catch you slippin’, and could have ranted, raved and flipped
    You knew you had me wrapped around your finger; went on and flipped the script
    And just to keep you in my life … just to make life livable
    I went ahead and did the unthinkable … I forgave the unforgiveable
    You gave me enough just to pacify me and to sooth my angry side
    To, once again, take me on an emotional roller coaster ride
    Sending me through ups and downs; the twist and turns, and unintended pitches and rolls
    Looking for you when you weren’t home … going out on patrols

    It seemed the more I begged and pleaded the more cruel you became
    The things I gave in to and condoned added to the shame
    Of a man who traded his self esteem for an emotional attachment borne out of sex
    That turned into an abusive relationship that for me, grew more and more complex
    I would have fits and nervous breakdowns when you decided not to come home
    I would have panic attacks and other ailments when you decided to leave me alone
    My heart would long for you so bad that my grey skies never cleared
    The changes I went through with your selfish love, my smile disappeared
    The tears I shed in my pillow case flowed until my eyes were dry
    You gotta’ figure that you’ve really hurt a real man if you made him cry
    But I never showed you my tears, simply out of sheer contempt
    I would never let you see that side of my humanity, of which none were exempt
    I grew to hate the woman I fell in love with, but I loved you all the same
    My mind, body and soul would go through instant extremes at the mention of your name
    I had all but lost myself in trying to satisfy your love, in all that a desperate man does
    I was but steps away in losing the identity of the man that I was

    One day it dawned on me as if a special delivery just arrived
    My begging and pleading was the source of power from which you derived
    Your cruelty and control, your mean-streak and wicked ways
    That brought about so many tears that my eyes glossed over in a glaze
    I stared into space recounting what I was putting in versus what was getting out
    And really, really thinking what this relationship was all about
    For you, it was convenience, a place to stay and rest your head
    For me, it was love and an intimacy that went unspoken and unsaid
    It was then that I stopped begging for what you said was mine
    And for a minute, you continued to throw your tantrums and whine
    Then after a while the whining turned into accusations of not being true to you
    Then the accusations turned into terms of endearment with phrases like “I love you boo”
    With the utmost contempt for your wicked ways I offered no response
    Even when your terms of endearments turned into juvenile tempered taunts
    And when there was no response to the taunting, and no listening to reason
    As it was with Satan tempting Jesus, you ran and left me for a season

    It seems now you’re the one begging and pleading for the affection that was once yours
    But to al the things you represent … I just simply closed my doors
    You’re of no consequence to me now that I’ve grown a thick skin to your attack
    Now that I’ve stopped begging and pleading, I’ve gotten my power back
    A fact that dawned on you when you returned, and thought it strange
    When you found that you couldn’t get back in, you knew there was a change
    Though you tried to appeal with the utmost sincerity and many tears you would churn
    Met with a closed door and a deaf ear you realized soon enough that you could not return
    I heard your cries and felt your pain; I even felt the depths of your soul
    My heart went out to your pleas and on my former self would’ve taken it’s toll
    But every time I heard and saw you my mind toggled like a switch
    I could hear my thoughts saying “My Baby” but even louder “That #itch!”
    There was a definite shift in power, more and more I was seeing
    At stake, the battle for my personal happiness and emotional well being
    A definite test and trial … a lesson I learned the hard way
    A power shift, tipping the balance of power, shaping me into the man I am today

    Written by: Charles (a.k.a. K-JiO)
    © 2008
     
  2. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A re-newed Man, Warrior and King!!!
    awesomely written poet, I love how you painful, yet skillfully mastered YOU!!
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You were in love with someone who needed to mature, to say the least. You have lived, loved, and learned, and hopefully you have found, or will find someone deserving of you. As usual, your words take us completely in.
     
  4. asimplepoet

    asimplepoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    definitely having a poetically tuned out moment over here. The words sucked me and drown me in their meaning. Which is something I've come to expect in your writing. Your word choice and flow is amazing. I guess all I can say is you've defiinitely got a fan in me. :heart:
     
  5. 4EVERLUV

    4EVERLUV Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    gsalt:
    I do not know where to start with this.(smh) This happen to me and you laid it out almost precisely to the tee. As I read it I became frozen for a moment just replaying it all in my mind was a little unsettling. It was a time in my life that I would like to forget, but I have it tucked away for future reference. SO IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!! I applaud you for sharing this, a lot of men would not even admit to such. But this can happen to anyone if they are not careful. Why people choose to miss use your love for them is beyond me. But once you get your strength back its ON, its like they can't touch you anymore no matter what they do or what they say. You are just not moved by them AT ALL. (Their power over you is gone) I just woke up one day and felt stronger that was a beautiful day for me because I was sick (that is what I call it) for quite some time. For a moment there as I was reading I thought, "I do not recall sharing this with him" lol That's how mirror image it was for me. As always you move me no matter what the subject matter. Thank you so very much for sharing.

    Sorry for the long response but this really hit home.


    Much Luv
     
  6. garlicsalt99

    garlicsalt99 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was trying to see if I would PM those who read this piece thus far, but I couldn't.

    4everluv ... once I started writing this, I realized that people go through this on the daily, but for the most part don't talk about it because of a shame and a stigma involved with being in an abusive relationship or any kind. I had no idea that you went through a similar situation, but I am glad that you found your way out :)

    Asimplepoet, watzinaname, and queentswana ... as I told someone before, one of the ways that I understand my world [despite the freaky stuff that you see me write] is to write about my experiences, which helps me to bring closure to the bad, and understand everything else

    I'd like to thank you all for taking the time to read this piece. This will be my only reply as I let this piece sink to the bottom of the thread :)
     
  7. YungMiss

    YungMiss Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice write alot of people experience this kind of power struggle within relationships but its important to stay strong and know that its okay to let go sometimes and move on... don't be anyone's fool.
     
  8. Tha-Emissary

    Tha-Emissary Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel you & way to man up!
     
  9. AgAbus

    AgAbus Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Can I say...I am floored! Whewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
     
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