Black People : Power Inequalities amongst Afreekan Descendents

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by truetothecause, Nov 2, 2007.

  1. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok Mama Destee,


    I’m about to step out here on a limb, overstanding that you may be likely to pull your shotgun and dog back out and go after we with some stinging words…however…

    One, I trust you know at this point, I am all for “supporting my own”. In fact, not only have I made a financial contribution here, ( and would doing so monthly if i had it like dat), I have done so in so many other ways with Our folk in the past few years and the end result for me has been the same.

    “Follow the rules as THEY have laid them out or get lost”. People have many ways of saying “get lost” without actually saying the words. Would you agree?

    My point here is simply this, it gets really difficult to share the little resources I have both financially and emotionally only to have a sense that no true “reciprocity” or “equality” exist in the relationship.

    Now…I I tempted to break this down much deeper and bring to the surface the oppressive naure of the misuse of power and the parallel processes I see happening, yet,,, I prolly need more time then youtube could provide.

    Further more, it is extremely difficult for me to even attempt this conversation, knowing that I am out numbered here. And because We are so quick to judge, label and castigate each other and protect those we deem worthy of such, I am treading on real thin ice. At least, that is my perception right now.


    I would like to have this discussion though cause I think We have much to learn from each other and in particular, from the Voices in the Margins.
    Those would be the “masses” who we need “support” from, financial, emotional, Spiritual, Cultural, Political etc….

    I see owners of Black sites…such as this one anywho…as holding a tremendous amount of power. If you do not recognize and accept the power that you have, that is probably really dangerous and therefore supports/validates what I’m sensing and am concerned about.

    Based on your position of power, an inherent inequality exist amongst us. I can provide financial and other support to aid your efforts, yet, that does not grant me exclusion from the axe should you or your staff determine I “asked for it”.

    This I see as simply a “gap” which WE may want to address. If WE do not, someone is likely to fall through it and, it will probably be the person who does not hold the power.

    Brother SpiritualOne wrote a piece on his forum regarding Oprah's comments during a shooting which never made the air. In it, she acknowledged that she would likely be where she is if she relied on black folks support. His commentary broke it down right nice in terms of the damage done to Us as a collective..the trauma from the MAAFA and it's continued impact as we now not only have to contend with others "beating us down", we get it from our own.
    I said that to say simply, it is a challenge to continue to support anyone who then seemingly abuses that power.

    Now I trust you are sensing that i am "accusing" you of an abuse of power. I am not, not at this point anyway. I am merely suggesting that it HAS AND DOES happen all to frequently and this is likely one primary reason blacks have difficulty supporting each other....We always abusing each other...and keep in mind....abuse takes so many different forms.

    Aite..that's all for now...of course...this calls for a whole new thread to tease apart and unpack this bag of ish, and yes..it's a dang stinky job:11500: :SuN018:

    I would like to start the thread yet, experience has taught me that folk don't tend to respond much to my post, however, they DO when you start them...most of the time....:SuN006: Either way....is this something you wanna talk more about:?:

    :hearts2:
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister True ... bless your heart, i can see right now, that you are finna put my mind to work! :weights:

    I don't know if i really wanted any work to do, but okay, it goes with the territory. I guess it could be considered some of the "power" you mentioned above. It's my job, and i will do it. There are just some folk, who you already know, when you get into an exchange with them, it's gonna get deep, you gonna hafta think about your responses, can't just throw any ol' thing at 'em, they look'n for real answers, and will challenge you, if it aint rite ... that's what i mean by work ... but i enjoy a good challenge every now and then ... so yes Sister ... let's do this! :D

    I do agree that it may get a little off topic from the title of this thread, so let's do make it a new thread. I don't agree that my threads get more attention / response than other folks do ... not just cause i started them anyway ... but we can discuss that in the new thread.

    I'm thinking of just taking your above post, and this post, and letting these 2 posts be the beginning of the new thread ... how about that? You'll still be the starter of the thread, which is fine with me ... (i think i just relinquished some "power"?) ... lol

    Let me know if this is okay with you, and what you'd like the title of the thread to be, and i'll make these 2 posts, a new thread. I'll then respond in full to your original post.

    I think it makes a difference how one titles a thread, as well as the content within, and how the words inspire others to respond. I really don't think it's just "Destee started a thread, so let me respond" for i have way too many threads and posts here, with no responses, for that to be true.

    Nonetheless ... let me know what you want the title to be, and we can begin this journey of sharing, understanding, and listening to each other.

    I'm ready Sister True ... Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sounds like a plan to M.E.:kiss2:

    :hearts2:
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Okay Sister True ... i've made the new thread, but you didn't give me a title for it, so i made this one, The Challenge of Financially Supporting Each Other, based on the content of your post. If you'd rather it be something else, let me know, we can change that. I'm gonna go ahead and compose a response to your first post.

    Here goes ... :)

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Power Inequalities amongst Afreekan Descendents and....

    The Barriers it poses to financial support...
    yet..no need to change title..it works as well...

    Alright...guess you did not get my last pm..no problem..

    Here was my first post

    http://rnanetwork.ning.com/video/video/show?id=1125138:Video:1542

    It's too late right now for me to write something up with this...tho..i want to.

    anywho...this is just a start..let's see where it goes.


    :hearts2:
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister True ... first let me say, i have no problem with Members asking me questions, challenging what i've said in the discussions, or anything like that. I've always welcomed such. I absolutely believe that we should be able to engage each other surrounding any topic, in the best of manners. I believe in it so much, that i've given my whole self to it for many years, nurturing this community, that is primarily a place for Black People to come and do this very thing. So for me to get krazee because someone has challenging discussion for me (stinging words), won't probably happen.

    I must say though, i won't be talked to any kind of way, nor will i let any Member be talked to any kind of way. I believe there is a decent and proper way to do all things, and if the challenges (stinging words) are presented respectfully, as yours always are, i will respond likewise.

    I love our Ancestor Mary Fields (who is in my avatar, toting a shotgun with her dog by her side). Sister NNQueen shared her with us in 2006, and i immediately made her my avatar. I love the energy she exudes, her courage, strength, fearlessness, determination, and it was instant. Yes, i do sometimes lean on, call on, wallow in, her essence. It strengthens me during challenging times. So yes, i will post her image when i need her, but she is there for all of us (as all of our Ancestors are), not just for me.


    When it comes to financially supporting our own, i'm often looking at the collective, and not any single person. The challenge is in getting the collective to do it, and while that is the sum of many individuals, they are really not one and the same. Yes, i do know that you have demonstrated your willingness to help financially, but when the collective doesn't help, there's only one, two, or a few, trying to do for the majority, there's a problem. We witness it daily across the landscape. We must get to the point, where the majority of us help, not just pointing at one or two that are willing to do. One or two can't sustain alone, what must be financially / economically done, for the collective.

    Yes, i'd agree that there are lots of different ways to say the same thing, whether it is get lost or i love you. Sure, i'll agree with that, but at the same time, i do know that you've thought i / we meant ugly things, when we didn't mean that. I can't remember exactly what the situation was, ooohhh yes i do, when the site was down for maintenance one time, and i didn't get a chance to post it ahead of time. You thought your inability to access the site, meant that you were not welcome. You said that, or something to that effect. I was so surprised and i fussed at you about it. Yes, folk, situations, circumstance, can mean different things, we can construe it in our own minds, that it is this, that, or the other, but we could be wrong too. The best thing to do, in situations like this, is to simply ask them, straightforward and direct, what do you mean. That way, no one has to wonder anything, feeling some kind of way bad, when it is not necessary.


    I surely understand the difficulty of sharing one's little resources, when there is no (collective) sense of reciprocity or equality. I could write a book on this. I've been here 10+ years, doing this very thing. Again, i'm speaking of the collective, and not you or any one Member specifically. Many come here, many share in the peace, love, knowledge found here, yet few help financially to sustain the effort. It's like providing a meal every day for hundreds, folk come and sit at the table, eat, and never ask, can i give a dollar toward the next meal. It's as though it never crosses their mind, or they ignore whatever may cross their mind.

    Brother Edward Williams said something in another post, that really hit home with me, something that i've thought on many times, and am challenged inside myself to keep balanced.

    My doing really has nothing to do with anyone else's doing. I feel just as responsible to do what i'm doing, no matter if no one ever helps. For many years prior to launching Premium Membership, i paid for everything myself. It was always my intention to pay for everything myself. It was circumstance and need that changed that. I'm beginning to think, that it is even greater than circumstance and need, words can't convey it at this point, but it's greater than that ... the fact that i'm here, speaking on this, doing this, living this.

    But no matter, we must all get to the point that we do because it's the right thing to do. Period. Not because we are appreciated fully, though that would be nice, but we can't wait only for that or else little will ever get accomplished. We must do because it needs doing, no matter if anyone else ever helps or not.

    When you're in this place, thinking like this, the collective equality and reciprocity (or lack thereof) will come to mind, but it won't stop you from doing. It's not stopped me, not yet anyway.


    I'm going to need you to be more specific regarding the misuse of power, parallel processes, etc. I'm not sure if you are talking about here, in this community. If so, just point out to me these things clearly and specifically, and i will address each one.


    I don't know what you mean by outnumbered, so i can't speak on it. You are outnumbered by who or what? I prefer to think of us as all in the same boat, we're in this together, so i don't feel outnumbered in any way.

    Yes, we are quick to judge, label, castigate, etc., but i believe that's due to the conditioning we've received over many generations, and it is simply manifesting itself (as it has done for many years). It is up to us to overcome this, so our children won't have this same problem to solve.

    You say protect those we deem worthy of such. I don't know what you mean by this. If you're talking about the community, suggesting that some Members are protected in a way that others Members aren't, i'd have to disagree. We strive to give every Member the protection afforded them via our rules being adhered to. Now there is one Member, that i will go above and beyond to protect ... you're right ... that is Sister AuroraFlower aka LibertyLady. I stand by this, and will continue to do so, until God tells me otherwise. But she's the only one that has ever been given special protection in all the years we've been here. Would you elaborate a little more regarding protection, so i can understand better what you mean.



    I agree, this and every discussion, which is why this community is here.


    It's interesting that you'd say the above. Hmmmm. I'm not sure what to think of it, or how to respond. I don't consider myself as holding any tremendous amount of power. Of course, right at this moment, that concerns me, as you say it is dangerous and supports / validates what you're sensing and concerned about.

    Perhaps you should tell me what you're sensing and are concerned about, so i can try to address the "tremendous power" comment properly.


    I don't consider it any kind of "powerful" position, to be able to ban someone from this community. It's more like a responsibility, a chore even. Yes, i am able to do that, but power, hmmmm ... i'd not describe it like that.

    This responsibility / ability, which could be likened to power i suppose, would be anyone's who started a discussion forum. If you started this community, then you'd have the ultimate responsibility for it, which involves much more than being able to ban someone. As difficult as it is to ban someone, it is probably the easiest of the tasks to bear (as the Member's own actions determines this). Anyone who started the community, would have this responsibility, to maintain the standard. Those who didn't start it, wouldn't probably have it, but it is/was there for any and every one that was so inclined to do it. It's not unique to me, it's a responsibility that any one of us could have taken on.

    When i go to other people's forums / communities, etc., i must respect their rules and regulations, or i'll be banned. I can't go in talking about the ability i have on destee, and thus, should have the same everywhere i go. If i go to any establishment, anywhere in the world, i have to abide by the rules they have in place. If i don't, i'm going to suffer the consequence. This is just life, isn't it?

    Now, if i go there, and don't like it, don't enjoy myself, don't trust the folk running the place, i'm not gonna be there every day. I'm not gonna give them my support financially or otherwise. If i trust them, enjoy them, etc., then i'm going to be there, and i'm going to do what i can to help. No, there's no guarantee that i will always have great and positive interactions with them, but i'll feel secure that i probably will. I'll feel like if there is a problem, we'll be able to talk about it. I'll feel like they'll let me know, if i'm crossing the line, doing things that are against their rules, giving me time to adjust myself. If i've been wrong in the place, i'll apologize and correct myself, out of respect for the place that i enjoy being at. If it was a place like this, that i frequented, i'd be willing to take the risk.

    That's it though, there is risk, as there is some risk in all things. Nothing is guaranteed. Even the best of relationships are not guaranteed. There is this old saying, that even teeth and tongue will fall out, as the teeth sometimes bites the tongue, yet they must continue to live together, in the same mouth. So the challenge is to work out the differences that may manifest themselves, while remaining together, if possible.

    We strive to do that here, with every Member, but there is a limit. We have Members here that tell us ... yeah, i'm breaking the rules, i broke the rule, but i don't care, do what you gotta do ... and they are still here! This is evidence of us striving to work with them, but there is a limit, and when that limit is reached with them continually doing the same, it's over. Every person that gets banned from here, does in essence, ask for it. Our rules are clear, tried and true. We're available to answer questions surrounding them, should someone not understand. We are patient, and usually give several chances for a Member to adhere to them. If they don't do that, they will be banned. There's no getting around this part.

    We have very high standards here, as it relates to an Internet discussion forum / community. Most places aren't like us. Most places you'll find all kinds of carrying on, folk cussing each other out, all kinds of disrespect, etc., and we have very little of that here. It's not by accident. It was my intention to have a safe, peaceful, positive, comfortable place that we could grow, learn, and commune with each other, in the best of manners. Just because someone thinks they should be free to do and say whatever they please, regardless of our standards, doesn't mean our standards will be diminished. No, that is not hardly happening. They just need to find a place that allows them to do what they want to do, and there are many. So there's really not a problem. We get to continue to "do us" while they can go and "do them." I'd call that a win win.

    You know what Sister True, one time a Member said to me ... something like ... Destee, who gets to ban you? ... :eeek: ... i was so surprised and never even thought about it before they asked, but there is no one that can ban me from this community. That inequity does exist, but it would exist for whoever created the community, it's not just for me. I can't get all gooey, thinking God has given me something that no one else can have. Anyone could have this position / responsibility. It's available to all of us. Anyone can start a discussion forum, an online community, and would have this same "protection" if you will, from ever being banned from that place.

    Lots of folk have been banned from here, because of the high standards we try to maintain. I've told this story before, but i remember the very first time i had to ban someone. It was a young Brother who i simply loved! I hated having to ban that Brother. It hurt my heart. It took him acting up so ugly, so many different times, the Family looking at me saying Destee, why are you letting him do this to us and the community, me trying to be patient, waiting, hoping that he'd just act right. When i first started the community i never anticipated banning anyone, because i believed we could all live together, peacefully and respectfully. I soon learned, such would not be. It just wouldn't be, no matter how much i wanted it. It was a very hard pill for me to swallow. But i had to do it, for the sake of the community, for the sake of the collective. No one Member will be allowed to continually disrupt the peace.

    You know, the weird thing about it is, i hate banning anyone. It's never changed, from that first Member. I usually have grown to love them, appreciate them in many ways, and hate to see them leave! But if they can't abide by our few rules, they've got to go. It's just that simple, and i don't see that changing. I don't see how we can change it, and maintain the peace. It's either one or the other. With so many Members able to be here, never breaking a rule, the problem can't be the rules or our management of them. At least i don't think that's the problem, but if it is, point it out to me, and i'll take a look.


    I didn't see the thread you're mentioning, and would like to. Please share a link to it, if you can find it.


    In the last sentence of the previous quote, you say it is a challenge to continue to support anyone who then seemingly abuses that power, then you go on to say you are not accusing me, not yet anyway.

    If you feel someone is abusing their power, then you should not support them. I mean, if you feel someone is not right, not doing right, not being fair, you're not agreeing with their method, management, etc., then don't support them. I have absolutely no problem with that. I wouldn't support someone that i felt was abusive, mistreating folk, etc. That just doesn't make sense.

    My concern when speaking to this issue of financial support, is to those who don't feel that way, or at least by their active participation, it appears as though they don't feel that way. I'd not lend my support to an effort, financial or otherwise, if i didn't trust the person, didn't believe what they said, what they were doing, etc. I'd not go there every day, i'd not share my wisdom, knowledge, and Spirit there, i'd not give them my money if i could keep from doing it. I'd give them no part of me, but that's not the issue here. We have many who come and take part, but seem to have a problem with financially helping. It is a big hurdle for us collectively, evidenced almost by some of what you said.

    We go in looking for, waiting for, anticipating when our people will do us wrong. We hold out on the most meaningful support (economics), because we don't trust each other collectively, not that the individual person or effort has done anything deserving of our mistrust. It's like, they haven't violated me yet, but i'm gonna wait and see if they do. We've been here 10 years, and some Members have been here all the 10 years, and never helped with a dime of financial support. I guess they are waiting to see if i'm going to be true to the effort myself. I don't know what they are waiting for, or even if they are waiting, but in the meantime, we struggle to survive, as everyone continues to take part on a daily basis.

    We've got to overcome this. We talk about it all the time. We talk of how other groups of people support their own, in front of everyone, the whole world can see it. Likewise, the world can see that we do not. Our web sites die, for this very reason. It's the conditioning that's been put on us, to think the worst of each other. It's not going to be easy to overcome, but we must do it, or there is no hope for us.

    As you said, there are so many ways to mistreat each other, so many reasons why we're reluctant to help each other. If i waited for our people to collectively treat each other properly, before starting the community, there would be no community. So i couldn't wait for that. Likewise, i can't wait until everyone is willing to financially help, before i make the sacrifices to sustain the site. We'd not be here right now, if i waited for that. I just have to do what i believe is the right thing for me to do, what God has put on my heart to do. My responsibility has little to do with whether anyone else helps or not, or if they feel they should respect other Sisters and Brothers. I'm going to continue to try and keep the community alive, with the standards we've established, as i have all the years. When it gets to the point that i can't do it anymore, and there is no one to help, it will die. That's just how it goes.


    Sister True ... whew ... okay ... i think i've covered the thick of things. I do want to speak to your comment regarding folk responding to the threads i start ... i've heard this before, and there may be some truth to it ... i probably do receive some views or consideration that others don't get. But again, i don't think it's just because it's me. I think if any one of us would have started this community, they'd be getting that same consideration. It seems to be tied directly to that initial effort/work/position, etc., and not to me. I know it's hard to separate me from it, but there really is a difference, at least to me.

    In addition, as a result of being here all the years, starting many threads, doing the same thing over and over again, learning what works better than something else, recognizing how to encourage a discussion, giving Members to know they are welcome to respond, sharpening my own delivery skills in the process, i really can't help but to be pretty good at it. Again, whoever would have put in this same amount of time, doing this same thing, would be just as good at it, as i am, if not better. So it's not something that is unique or available only to me. It's here for all of us to perfect ourselves, our presentations, delivery, feedback, etc., in this same manner.

    That's really what this community is about. Learning how to engage each other in the best of manners. Learning how to present our point of view and position, so that others will share and want to respond, become involved in our efforts, be moved by our wisdom and knowledge. It's all a learning process. The classes we offer here, are a prime example of this. Every Member is welcome to have a class. For those who host their own class, they sharpen their ability to speak before others, deliver the message, engage the audience, etc. It's a great learning opportunity, as are these discussions. But the classes especially because they are at a different level, and i think my point can be seen even easier.

    Brother OldSoul gives us great examples on how to engage the audience, present information in a manner that makes folk want to be present. He makes it look real easy, but i found out, it's not as easy as he makes it appear to be. So it's a challenge for the presenter, to polish this skill set, if they want to be good at this. This community provides a great platform for Sisters and Brothers to practice their writing, presentation, delivery, etc., in a warm, peaceful, loving, and encouraging environment. I could say, Brother OldSoul everyone comes to your class and no one comes to mine, because you are Brother OldSoul ... but that's not true ... they come to his because he presents great information, in an informative manner, engaging his audience, clear, concise, timely, he's good at it! So the challenge is for me to get good at it too, not say, they just like him better than they like me.

    You see what i'm saying? Whatever one can achieve, another can achieve, if they're willing to do the work.

    Whew!

    Okay.

    I think i'm done ... :)

    Looking forward to your response.

    Love You Sister True!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yo K.....


    Be back at ya just as soon as I can.

    And..I think some of my points may have been covered in the video

    Yebehyia- See you Soon

    :hearts2:
     
  8. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In the meantime...here is the article I referenced by SpiritualONE:
    http://com2.runboard.com/bspiritualonesdeepknowledge.f1.t156

    Also...I copy and pasted your reply and it's 9 pages long...like a mini discourse...lol...
    I'm like....um um ummmm...I want talk, I want write my reply...I get the sense you like...."If I'm gone "work" ("I don't know if i really wanted any work to do, but okay, it goes with the territory") then you behind gon work too!

    Then it was like...:playball: here...take all this:10900: ..Deal wit dat...ought to keep you busy.
    Now I know , I know, this is ALL based on MY "insecurity" and what.."paranoia" ..ok, I'll take that though you have not said this out loud.

    alright..Let Me go to being "objective" and dealing with ONLY that is 'written' ..the "facts".

    You know what ...on second thought...I think I'm just gonna direct you back to here:http://rnanetwork.ning.com/video/vid...138:Video:1542

    cause this is what my thinking was about this.

    Yet, I would prolly be rude to NOT address all you work here. So i'll be back with some stuff...one way or another.

    You know, Part of me really "write" it cause I want others who ARE checking in (notice the # of views) to hear what I'm saying as well. Yet...


    :hearts2:
     
  9. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok...Here is my first reply to what you have addressed in your first nine page reply.
    You know, this is a bit overwhelming, yet, I asked for it. And I KNOW, it was NOT your INTENT to "overwhelm" ...that IS MY STINKING POO!.

    I suppose this is why it was suggested in the Neely Fuller camp that responses be 'brief' and questions asked for follow up/clarity.




    Now, I'm working to reply to you, point by point since you took such great care and time in replying in full detail to me.

    So...first point:

    Reply:


    :hearts2:
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    +9,683
    Okay Sister True ... i've listened to, and viewed, all 3 videos. It's kinda hard to respond to the videos because i don't have the text to quote, or anything like that, but i'll try. Let me see ...

    First, i want to speak to what you refer to as my "stinging words." You say my words are stinging, because my response above was so long. You also said that my long response meant to you, that i had went krazee as a result of the questions / concerns you presented. If long response = stinging and krazee, then we're going to have trouble communicating, as our words don't mean the same thing. I am long-winded, i'll admit that, but i'm usually just trying to be thorough. I'll work on this though, and try to be more succinct, as it can only help in this exchange. My apologies for the 9 page discourse.

    You mentioned in one of the videos, a situation where Brother James said something you found offensive, and how you felt the Moderators overlooked that offense, but when i saw he said something about Brother Kemetstry, i spoke to it ... making you feel as though we counted one offense, but not another.

    A Moderator, Administrator, or myself, are Members of the community and can speak to anything anyone says, just like every other Member can. Just because one of us speaks to a topic, discussion, etc., it doesn't mean we're acting in an authoritative capacity. We are most often simply sharing our opinion, as any other Member would and could. When i spoke to Brother James, i wasn't speaking to him in the sense that he had violated a rule. He'd not done that, and i never said that to him. When a Member receives a warning regarding rule violations, they are clear and concise, with a link to the rules usually included, and a warning that they should not do this again or they may be banned. He was never given that. I was just sharing my opinion, a Sister to a Brother, regarding what he said. I felt qualified and compelled to do so, as i know both of them very well. So i was hoping i could help them bridge the gap between them, but it wasn't a rule violation.

    If you ever feel like you've been violated, please let us know. Don't wait for a Moderator to see it and speak to it, for that may never happen. Moderators don't see every thing, and they may not consider it a violation, even if they do see it. Actually, we are slow to jump on every single thing that looks like a violation, because it makes us appear heavy-handed, as though we are baby-sitting the discussions, and we try real hard not to do that. The best thing to do, if you feel a violation has occurred, is to post a complaint. The procedure for this is outlined right here.

    Hmmmm ... okay ... trying to remember what all you said ...

    You talked about being a part of the group that follows the rules, yet not part of the TEAM that makes the rules. Well Sister True, we are all a part of the group that follows the rules. No one is above the rules, not me, not any Moderator, or any Administrator. We don't make rules for other people to follow, we make rules that everyone must follow. If you find a Moderator or Administrator breaking the rules, post a complaint about it! It's not allowed. I'm much harder on us (the TEAM) breaking a rule, than i would be on a Member, as we are held to an even higher standard.

    Our rules are old, tried and true. We've not added a new rule for many years, so the majority of the Moderators on the TEAM now, have not made any new rules. Our current rules were in place when they got here. I'm very reluctant to add new rules to the community. It really has to be a need, something we simply can't avoid doing. Usually, rules come as a result of the need manifesting itself, over and over again. That's how those came to be. When we started, we had no rules.

    There was a time in the early days of the community that i would seek the opinion of every Member, prior to making a decision, rule, etc., in an attempt to allow everyone in on the decision making process. We called these "Family Meetings" and i'd post a thread, asking the Family to vote on what they thought we should do, how we should proceed with a given situation. We simply outgrew this model of management. It wasn't effective or efficient, waiting for every Member to respond to a concern, before acting on it. It was at this point i began depending more on the Moderating TEAM, to help me make such decisions. A smaller, more cohesive group of Sisters and Brothers that loved this place, represented the diversity found here, and could provide feedback in a timely manner.

    Again, you mentioned abuse of power, yet you've not mentioned where we've done that here. I am aware that it happens all over the world, but i can't really speak on what other people do. I can however, speak on what we do, so if there has been some abuse of power here, that you want to bring to my attention, let me know and i'll speak to that.

    You talked of equity across the board, a level playing field, where everyone is equal, but that's not real life. Even in a Family, Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, the playing field is not level. The child does not have the same "power" as the parent. The younger sibling doesn't get to do what the older sibling does. There are innate differences that could be considered inequities, that exist in life. I'm not sure if you're expecting this community to "correct" that, but if so, i don't know how. It's like a person works for and wins an olympic gold medal, yet i want the playing field level, when it comes to reaping the reward for that medal, but i never worked out, never ran a lap, never did anything. The work put in, isn't equal, so the outcome won't be equal. Again, i don't know how to make everything equitable, at all times, or even if it should be. Perhaps i'm not understanding properly, so for the sake of brevity, i'll stop here, and give you a chance to briefly make the question or concern more clear.

    You also mentioned that i've responded in length, to what isn't really what you want to talk about, so i don't want us to get caught up in unnecessary banter if it can be avoided. Don't worry about trying to respond to each piece of my 9 page discourse, as i won't be offended in the least. I'd rather we get on the straight and narrow, if you will, focusing solely on your specific concerns.

    So, in an effort to make this entire exchange succinct, how about you ask brief, specific and pointed questions, and i'll respond in kind. This way, neither of us will feel the need to respond to words that are not relevant to the discussion, as we can just leave them out from this point on.

    Okay ... i'm ready ... what's the first question for me.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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