It doesn’t matter now, it doesn’t even hurt, you treated me like wine then you treated me like dirt. You were my everything, thought, I was yours too, thought you would be mine always, thought we’d really make it through. We became one and, for the moment, I felt great, or grateful I had finally found love before it was to late. But I was just fooling myself, and hated the tale that time told. Finally getting fed up with attitudes and excuse were getting old. I kept trying to stay, I asked you if you still loved me, the nonverbal answers you gave always led us to the sheets. I knew that it was over, but I couldn’t seem to make it end, I still needed a lover, and I thought you were my friend. Things deteriorated slowly until we barely had anything left. So many times I opened my mouth to leave, but was infected with word theft. At some point I started to cheat, funny it didn’t seem wrong at all. It was only one other man anyway, we had already taken the fall. So with nothing to lose, I started to give my heart away too. Started believing in someone else, started not believing in you. I guess my actions gave away what was really happening the rear, You tried to step back in my life, but your call came to late for me to hear. Six months have passed now and I am wondering about what went wrong, Never meant to hurt you, but you’re not hearing me ‘cause you’re long gone. A few months after seeing that guy, he told me that things were not right, He said that he wasn’t feeling the same as me, and couldn’t see me in his life. I made a promise then to be faithful, came home and cooked dinner for two, I went into the bedroom so I could get cut for you. But lying on the pillow was a note, surrounded by rose pedals of red. I picked it up, opened it and started to cry. It said: “Baby I am so sorry for all that I put you through, the crazy **** I say, all of the dumb crap that I do. Never meant to hurt you, I’ll be gone soon, this time for good. I knew I should have treated you like my momma said I should. But stupid me didn’t listen, and I cheated on my best friend, I am sick of myself right now for the way that I am making this end, forgive me for what I am telling you, I was wrong from the start, baby always know in the end you owned my heart.” I folded and threw that note and ran to the bathroom door, I was going to dry my tears, but you were in there , bloody gun in hand, brain and HIV test results on the floor. Positive.