Black Relationships : Polygamy options for us?

Thank you Pharoh. We as black men will never change until black women put their foot down and say enough is enough, and raise their standards and make us as men understand why. Our future as a race is depending on it. Remember, in the days of slavery, the value of the individual was diminshed and black women were treated as little more than breeders who worked the fields..... we do not need to return to those days.
 
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Does anyone remember this on destee? This is someone whom i have known forever! Bro Hezekiah, has a great peice here read and learn. One does not have to accept anything just know that the breakup of the Afrakan family has nothing to do with Polygamy
 
Originally posted by Ademidemeji
Can a Sistah ask, that those of you who think polygamy is wrong sit back and ask yourself if your views are eurocentric in nature?

If you feel polygamy is wrong, please can you tell me WHY outside you feel it is WRONG? Wrong by whose standards?

Again, I said polygamy is not for a brotha to get his freak on and it is not for sistahs who have self esteem issues. It is a way of family unification.

Have any of you thought in our blackness, that this may be yet another way we have been LIED to? To accept polygamy hands down as being wrong and sharing a man is buying into another LIE we have been taught about ourselves.

The vows of "love and honor" were imposed upon us and not our ways. Afrikans love and honor without "laws". Traditional afrikans automatically revere their women.

I am not in a polygamous relationship, but let me tell you this, i am open to whatever it would take to bring unity and harmony to the family unit.

I have seen polygamous afrikan relationships, and let me say this none of what any of the opposition says is true at all. I dont' see the wives fighting over the husband. I don't see him bed-hopping or calendars on the wall to see who "gets" him what night. I don't see jealous co-wives scheming. I don't see any of the drama which we have bought into instead of sistahhood.

What I do see is exactly what the afrikan proverb saying...it takes a village to raise a child. I see Afrikan children getting Ivy league educations because they have the benefit of the entire village. I see afrikan children who all have male and female role models in their lives because their father is there, in the compound. I see every child in a family compound sharing the surname of his family. I see each and every child born into the family given love and tenderness by ALL of the women in the compound, whether they are his father's wives or other extended family members.

In the west, I see the same thing with polygamous relationships practiced by those who are tradition based. I have seen the black men/fathers in these relationships works so very hard to take care of their families, which includes here, children any of his wives may have brought into the marriage. I don't see many "family compounds" but what I do see is a lot of love. Those marriages where there is more than one wife, in the west, the husband may be told by the oracle to purchase another house for the new wife, or she may live in the same home. But I have spoken to these Sistahs, in the house or out of the house, they are makin it work with no complaints. There are others of our women looking to get into polygamous relationships because of the dynamics. They know they will be taken care of with their children. They know they will never be alone to raise their child and any children of the marriage. What could be so WRONG with this?

What I would have given to grow up with so much love and protection, not to mention all that good dang food to eat.

If I had to incarnate this life again, I would choose a family like the ones I see where love abounds without fences.

Personally, I think my own child would have fared much better had he not been the product of parents who were bound by "law" to love and honor when I was not really feelin it. Given what I know now, I would marry a man who would have loved him after my divorce and had other "mothers" who would have looked out for him while I recovered from my abuse and subsequent illnesses. He would have had a father figure who could have balanced out his own who was angry as a hornet because I left. Perhaps I would not have waited so long to say "yes" to becoming engaged to my Black King had I been open to allowing another man into my life after my divorce because of my own thinking that anybody but my husband was WRONG in the life of my child. As it stood I waited and put my own life on hold until my son was almost 19.

If I had to do the divorce thang all over again, I would marry the FIRST afrikan centered man, of good character and repute, who practiced polygamy in order to take a good, long, rest and know my child was safe at the same time, while I recovered from the insanity that was my marriage. Ashe

Eurocentric thinkin can be a mug my fambly. Or perhaps, I am re-afrikanising too dang fast!

:love: :toast: :confused: :D :grouphug: :fight:




Hello;
I agree with you on some points and as i live in such a relationship i can possibly also understand why some of our sisters and broethern are not understanding the real issue here.

We have raised 7 (sons) born of myself 12 others born of my sister wives. Moreover there never was an issue of how either child felt thought or reacted when Prince Eliashuv Ben Yehuda* was not with one or the other.

I complement you sister for sharing your thoughts and with this i will end by saying..Polygamy is not about sex, ego or low self esteem it is about *UNITY* and all that it encompasses..almost like the 7 principles of kwanzAA

toda rabah

spkntruth2power
 

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