Black Relationships : Polygamy: An option for you?

You still haven't stated how polygamy is a step in the right direction. smh

You're not worried about racism/white supremacy? But you're worried about our condition. Our condition exists because of many factors. The biggest one being racism/white supremacy. smh



I thought I mentioned that fostering a child's development is a step in the right direction.

No, not really, I am more concerned about our condition and us. Worrying about them requires that my brain be focused on them rather than helping our condition. My time is way to valuable to be worried about them.

No. Let's just say the brotha didn't quite buy into it from the perspective of saving our kids via the village concept.

I guess he was/is still approaching it from the physical nature?


True, circumstances do not exist, but don't you agree that in this type of situation, the BEST circumstances should exist BEFORE you take on a lifestyle that is not universally accepted or viewed? Case in point, is polygamy considered LEGAL in this society? Yes or No?

I guess I would not really agree. I am coming from this standpoint: Just b/c it is not universally accepted or viewed does not mean it should not occur. I don't subscribe to the wait until all are on the boat philosophy. I mean think about it for a minute - what about those slaves that read when the rest of society frowned upon it. What about the blacks that fought for separate but equal facilities when society as a whole frowned upon it? Just b/c something is frowned upon by society does not necessarily make it a bad thing. Especially in this type of society where women are degraded on every channel and more emphasis is put on war and money than people's welfare.


Let me be clear--I am not opposed to polygamy. What I would be opposed to is if the man in your scenario was to step up to me and invite me to become a part of a polygamous relationship when the society at large does not and won't support it.

Let me get this straight, though you are not opposed to polygamy you would not be part of such a relationship b/c society won't support it? Why do you give society so much strength in your decision making process, especially a society that has treated you, the Queen of earth, so poorly?


In modern times, if I'm married, I want the full legal benefit of that marriage, as I'm sure everyone in the relationship will want also. If the man should die before the wives, then legally, how is the property and benefits disbursed? How are the wives and the children protected from the state?

First and foremost all parties MUST be working toward a common goal. There are families that do not fight when parents die and there are families that do fight when parents die. All parties in the relationship need to be open and thoroughly discuss such a topic as it is reality. Again, I don't practice this way of life. I am actively seeking such though and when I cross that road I will let you know :D


Anyway, I figured you just wanted to know whether anyone was for or against polygamy, which is why I stated my opinion first. But then, all else must be considered if someone was to entertain this type of relationship seriously.

No, I want to know would YOU consider polygamy if a man you were attracted to wanted to court you?

Question: What makes a polygamous relationship "too" expensive? Couldn't it all balance itself out in the end? For example, what if all members were gainfully employed? There's no edict that states that women can't work outside the home in a multiple relationship is there?

In my opinion, the expensive nature could come from possibly two or more homes (two or more households). It would be more ideal if one house was used, but I don't think that is realistic, in might be though. Debt of the other parties is inherited so that also comes into play. And yes, I think if all members were gainfully employed it would make it much more bearable, expense-wise.
 
stepup said:
True, circumstances do not exist, but don't you agree that in this type of situation, the BEST circumstances should exist BEFORE you take on a lifestyle that is not universally accepted or viewed? Case in point, is polygamy considered LEGAL in this society? Yes or No?

I guess I would not really agree. I am coming from this standpoint: Just b/c it is not universally accepted or viewed does not mean it should not occur. I don't subscribe to the wait until all are on the boat philosophy. I mean think about it for a minute - what about those slaves that read when the rest of society frowned upon it. What about the blacks that fought for separate but equal facilities when society as a whole frowned upon it? Just b/c something is frowned upon by society does not necessarily make it a bad thing. Especially in this type of society where women are degraded on every channel and more emphasis is put on war and money than people's welfare.

This is why I asked you earlier whether this is a "make believe" society or our current social construct. You assume too much from my responses Step Up, therefore your arguments are not relevant to the points that I made.


Let me be clear--I am not opposed to polygamy. What I would be opposed to is if the man in your scenario was to step up to me and invite me to become a part of a polygamous relationship when the society at large does not and won't support it.

Let me get this straight, though you are not opposed to polygamy you would not be part of such a relationship b/c society won't support it? Why do you give society so much strength in your decision making process, especially a society that has treated you, the Queen of earth, so poorly?

Again, you miss the point that I made. I'm living in reality not a fantasy. Who said that I give society so much strength in my decision making process? We have choices my friend--to either live within or outside the law. As far as being involved in a polygamous relationship at this point in time, I would much rather spend my time fighting oppression in this country a different way...living outside the law and subjecting myself and family to the whims of a prejudiced social system as far as my relationship goes, is not something that I will choose to do regardless of how supportive and understanding I am about the values of polygamy. Please don't assume that you know what my motivations and thinking are just because I provide a simple answer to a simple question. Maybe...just maybe...a better argument would be that those that see the value of polygamy become more politically active in terms of influencing the status quo to get it legalized. What do you think?

Anyway, I figured you just wanted to know whether anyone was for or against polygamy, which is why I stated my opinion first. But then, all else must be considered if someone was to entertain this type of relationship seriously.

No, I want to know would YOU consider polygamy if a man you were attracted to wanted to court you?

Then you received my answer.

Question: What makes a polygamous relationship "too" expensive? Couldn't it all balance itself out in the end? For example, what if all members were gainfully employed? There's no edict that states that women can't work outside the home in a multiple relationship is there?

In my opinion, the expensive nature could come from possibly two or more homes (two or more households). It would be more ideal if one house was used, but I don't think that is realistic, in might be though. Debt of the other parties is inherited so that also comes into play. And yes, I think if all members were gainfully employed it would make it much more bearable, expense-wise.

Interesting. Thank you for the reply.

Queenie :spinstar:
 
This is why I asked you earlier whether this is a "make believe" society or our current social construct. You assume too much from my responses Step Up, therefore your arguments are not relevant to the points that I made.

Again, I stated that it is the current society and not Mr. Roger's neighborhood. I assumed nothing, you stated your thoughts and I simply responded with mine.

Again, you miss the point that I made. I'm living in reality not a fantasy. Who said that I give society so much strength in my decision making process? We have choices my friend--to either live within or outside the law. As far as being involved in a polygamous relationship at this point in time, I would much rather spend my time fighting oppression in this country a different way...living outside the law and subjecting myself and family to the whims of a prejudiced social system as far as my relationship goes, is not something that I will choose to do regardless of how supportive and understanding I am about the values of polygamy. Please don't assume that you know what my motivations and thinking are just because I provide a simple answer to a simple question. Maybe...just maybe...a better argument would be that those that see the value of polygamy become more politically active in terms of influencing the status quo to get it legalized. What do you think?

What point? We both live in reality, I hope. Law? It was a law that we could not read! I guess if we lived back then we both should not read b/c it was the law? Come on now get real! I make choices to try to do what is right regardless if it is the law or not. If this society's laws, that REAL society that continues to oppress certain people, binds you then this is where we differ.

You seem to be bent on the fact I will judge you b/c of an answer, this I will never do. So don't worry. :D

The last point in your paragraph may work but to me that is asking for permission to do the right thing. I don't have the patience to follow the yellow brick road and jump through hoops for this REAL society. Time is running out and I plan to do what I can in the time I have on this earth.

Then you received my answer.

Okay, thanks!

Interesting. Thank you for the reply.

Likewise!:D
 
stepup said:
What point? We both live in reality, I hope. Law? It was a law that we could not read! I guess if we lived back then we both should not read b/c it was the law? Come on now get real! I make choices to try to do what is right regardless if it is the law or not. If this society's laws, that REAL society that continues to oppress certain people, binds you then this is where we differ.


I don't subscribe to your view that choosing to live in a polygamous relationship is the same as having the right to equal treatment under the law as far as learning to read is concerned. The civil right to receive equal treatment under the law and have access to an education as a Black person was in direct correlation to the fact that white people could receive an education and Black people couldn't. In comparison, can white people practice polygamy in the US legally and Black people can't? If so, then I say let's bust through the barrier, break down the walls and fight for our civil right to practice polygamy in this country. :court:

It appears that you know what you want to do in life Stepup and have every intention of forging ahead no matter what the law says. The difference between us is simply the choices we make, and I am being real. Pursuing a polygamous relationship is simply not high on my list of priorities right now. I think there are other things we as a people can focus our attention on first and who knows, maybe polygamy will become a natural ingredient when we become more unified as a nation of people.

I'm sure you know that what might work for you may not for everyone but I do agree that we need to expand our options and have the freedom to pursue whatever lifestyle that will bring about a more cohesive and healthy community.

You seem to be bent on the fact I will judge you b/c of an answer, this I will never do. So don't worry. :D
I can understand if I gave you this impression, but no, I'm not BENT about your opinion of me nor am I worried. My writing may seem shallow to you in that regard but I believe that my constitution runs a little deeper than that. :D

The last point in your paragraph may work but to me that is asking for permission to do the right thing. I don't have the patience to follow the yellow brick road and jump through hoops for this REAL society. Time is running out and I plan to do what I can in the time I have on this earth.

Why do you feel impatient and that time is running out? Is there something that you feel you must do and something is stopping you? You seem so confident so why not just do what you want to do? We each have to pursue our paths in life as we see fit. I applaud you for risking whatever to get what you want and wish you the best of luck.

Queenie :spinstar:
 

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