It ain’t often we speak about “sanitation” or “hygiene” in mixed company, but I am going to break that rule because it needs to be done. For some reason, there are some people who can’t seem to get their *** clean. Now, some of this is understandable. After all, I’m speaking about an ***, which is the funkiest piece of human anatomy. It’s where **** comes from. Obviously, we can’t expect it to smell like roses, but most of us don’t go around like dogs sniffing each other’s butts. So, we need to be aware that ***** stink and that stink can overflow into public. Wash your ***! I mean it. Literally, wash your ***. I have abused my olfactory nerves with years of smoking and playing the nightclub circuit almost ruining my sense of smell. However, I can smell **** no matter how bad my nose has become. We all know that ******** stink naturally and there ain’t no shame in that. The problem is when that stink inside—gets outside. How does that happen? From not wiping your nasty ***! How do you think “skid marks” and “tobacco stains” find their way into your draws? Ain’t nothing worse than sitting in a restaurant or on an airplane in cramped quarters and smelling the crack of somebody’s nasty ***. I realize that it isn’t always easy getting a good wipe, but folks wherever there’s a bathroom, there’s usually soap and water. Wash your ***! If you can’t get it all because the toilet paper is rougher than corncobs, then get out of the stall, drop your draws and wash your ***! If anybody asks what you are doing—tell them you are washing your nasty ***! Now, some of you might think this is a man thing, but women’s ***** stink too, and, I, for one, have never relished the smell of fresh *** and sardines. Women have hygienic needs in addition to keeping their *** clean. Most coochies have a distinct odor, which by the way doesn’t have to be unpleasant, but there are those you can smell standing in the middle of a roadside Texaco restroom. It’s an eye-watering smell of strong onions, sardines and old folk’s draws. It smells like it will stick to you. It makes me think of hot-combed hair, under-arm odor and the fishing dock. Now it is known that coochies are self-cleaning, but that is under normal circumstances. If that bad boy has received a lot of recent usage or has been out of usage for an extended period, it tends to build up “nuclear” stank that is capable of reducing glass hard erections to licorice whips, making cast iron stomachs into revolving regurgitators and make more people frown up their faces than country music at a Rap concert. Ladies and Gentlemen—wash your *** and all that implies. Don’t be afraid to undress in the light for fear your lover will see the “skid” marks decorating your drawers. You won’t have to worry about leaving a scent trail that even a dog with sinus problems could follow. Just wash your ***. By the way, when you wash your ***, make sure you wash everything else first—especially before you wash your face.