Black Poetry : Poetic light, poetic night

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by moham, Sep 13, 2004.

  1. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16
    Fiery little fire-flies
    fly beneath this summer sky.
    Brighten up our soul.

    Light so light we feel this
    night. Make sweet love perhaps we might.
    There’s so much to unfold.

    Warm embracing evening
    breeze. Holding hands we feel at ease.
    Our body’s start to float.

    Seek adventure and seek
    Love. From above came down a dove.
    Tonight we take this oath.

    Come with me to distant
    lands. Have no doubts just grab my hand.
    There’s so much to explore.

    Heavens high and oceans
    low. On this trip our love might grow.
    Life grants us so much more.

    So listen to this evening
    Breeze making music with the leaves
    Grateful and content.

    Enjoy intensely, simple
    Moments. Feel the beauty, divine omen.
    “Hope” this never ends.




    p.s. I don't really like the title, but this was the best I could do!!
    So if anybody has some suggestions that could inspire me.........(big smile revealing colgate white teeth---> grin)please, don't hesitate
    Btw this poem was inspired by Akilahs haiku: a summer's night!!
     
  2. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    7
    Occupation:
    social worker...
    Location:
    Holland
    Ratings:
    +9
    :flirt: :jumping:



    :luv: sister this is nothing but beautifulll



    you put it down so well and love..... sweet ..peacefull...


    we all want to stay in that moment...


    for love ...



    Good to have you back ....


    looking at you right now........3 persons ahead....! :eek:


    Give us more love ...

    we love youre flow... :flirt:




    Lovelibertylady:heart:
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    This flowed.....so feathery light, breezy and easy. Wonderful.
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2003
    Messages:
    12,660
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    somewhere ova da rainbow....
    Ratings:
    +219
    likes the vibe...tight write i likes the title too thas what brought me to the thread.......Angel
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    this was awesomely beautiful and the title fits well to me
     
  6. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 30, 2003
    Messages:
    5,322
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    ~The hidden library...~
    Ratings:
    +39
    Beautiful work!

    I loved this stanza immensly...

    keep it flowing poet!
    Sage
     
  7. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16
    Hi LibertyLady
    Thanks for the love, thanks for the words, thanks for being here! You have no idea how grateful I am!!!

    Hi Watzinaname
    Imagine you and your beloveth sitting under a tree for example during a warm summer's evening, just enjoying each other's company. Lifted by a summer's breeze, you start to mind travel to distant places...and you...and....
    yeah yeah yeah..my imagination is running off with me again(smile)
    But thank you for the words and the love!!

    Hi Mzblkangel
    Thanks for feeling it. It's a good thing I gave it a title then, cause I was going to post it titleless at first (haha). But thank you again for the love!

    The same goes for you too Rich. Thanks for your comment. You guys always reply. ......"Always". Doesn't matter who, when. That is really sweet!!!

    Miss Sage,
    When you reply, I always feel honoured, cause you're good, really goohood(smile). So thank you!!!
    I hope you read this, cause I have a question for you. I was wondering wether you paint yourself or not? And if so, what do you like to paint? My father is a painter also and I tried it but I hardly ever finish a work.

    I wish you all love.
    moham
     
  8. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2003
    Messages:
    6,642
    Likes Received:
    539
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Poet
    Location:
    The Lone-Star State
    Ratings:
    +604
    Mo' Moham!!!
     
  9. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    2,845
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    nyc
    Ratings:
    +43
    It's funny as I was reading your wonderful flow..I kept saying to myself
    moham must come into the haiku forumn...something in the way she uses nature imagery..and then I read your state ment about what inspired you..
    lovely flow
    come to haiku...would love to see/hear/read you in that form
     
  10. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 17, 2004
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    17
    Occupation:
    Security Guard
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +17
    This is nice.. kind of like expanded haiku, huh? Something about the way you use nature in your lines seems.. musical.
     
Loading...