Black Relationships : Please help, ADVICE?!

Precious LOVEINFLORIDA::kiss1: :kiss1: :kiss1:

Precious I hear your Cry for help.

I do not need your number age to know that you are indeed naive in mind, and there are many even in their 40-50 who goes through what you are experiencing.

Precious One, do you know what a DOORMAT IS? If not, I am asking you to run, run, run to the nearest book store and get this book by Sherry Argove, titled Why men Love...

Precious One, although I can reel you in back into a right thinking mind, I do not have the time to tell you myself so that you can have a speedy recovery from the world human being love you are experiencing, which is the Ludus, Mania Love, that type of Love is perverted (evil) ,and when you say you love him knowing what he is doing, that you are allowing him to do to you, it is perverted (evil). There is no chaos, confusion, malice, envy, strife, jealousies in Divine true Loving, which is Harmony, Balance, and Order.

When you get this book you will be staring in your mirror/face to face with you, the one you need to be concentrating on first. In this book, which I meditate you go quickly to get, you do not see yourself and him in it, you will have a long recuperation and enter other Unions carrying this same old garbage, and this is abuse to you. You are givien him a blank check to WAlk in and All Over you.

The key word in this book is D O O R MA T.

HILY/A

goddess Auset

RAW TRUTH IS Life
 
Doormat? I am his girlfriend, we see each other everyday, he tells his friends im his girlfriend, we go to church...he doesnt even see that other girl, they had an argument and right now they arent even talking, but both said they are praying about it, and other things.. he doesnt know ive seen his emails...if he isnt seeing her, or spending time with her, being with her, going to church with her, being with her family like he is with me, talking to her everyday, but does this with me, how am i the doormat?
Goddess Auset333 said:
Precious LOVEINFLORIDA::kiss1: :kiss1: :kiss1:

Precious I hear your Cry for help.

I do not need your number age to know that you are indeed naive in mind, and there are many even in their 40-50 who goes through what you are experiencing.

Precious One, do you know what a DOORMAT IS? If not, I am asking you to run, run, run to the nearest book store and get this book by Sherry Argove, titled Why men Love...

Precious One, although I can reel you in back into a right thinking mind, I do not have the time to tell you myself so that you can have a speedy recovery from the world human being love you are experiencing, which is the Ludus, Mania Love, that type of Love is perverted (evil) ,and when you say you love him knowing what he is doing, that you are allowing him to do to you, it is perverted (evil). There is no chaos, confusion, malice, envy, strife, jealousies in Divine true Loving, which is Harmony, Balance, and Order.

When you get this book you will be staring in your mirror/face to face with you, the one you need to be concentrating on first. In this book, which I meditate you go quickly to get, you do not see yourself and him in it, you will have a long recuperation and enter other Unions carrying this same old garbage, and this is abuse to you. You are givien him a blank check to WAlk in and All Over you.

The key word in this book is D O O R MA T.

HILY/A

goddess Auset

RAW TRUTH IS Life
 
Sister Loved In Florida ... okay ... you're just a baby ... :love:

To me, it makes a difference how old the Sister is, asking for such advice, as when you're young, you're not expected to know everything. In your youth, you'll make mistakes like this, and all we can hope is that you live through it. You just don't automatically know how to do, what to do, etc. Someone should take the time to help you understand life and relationships and stuff, from an objective perspective. If you were older, like 37 or something ... i'd think you did know better, but just wanted to be in this type of relationship ... and would wish you well in it.

But ... since you're a baby ... i'll be more patient. I think my daughter is 21, or 22, i can't keep up with their ages anymore! :D

All i know is she will tell me she's grown one minute, and crying like a baby the next! :love:

Anyway ... i will talk to you like i'd talk to my own daughter ... okay?

The first thing that caught my eye, that you shared, was how happy and satisfied you were with just one day of his time, per week. You seemed enthused about that, as though you had won some sort of prize. A man giving you just one day of his time per week, and using that time to go inside of your body ... have sex ... is no prize Sister. That's nothing to be bragging about. From the outside looking in, it appears as though you have thoroughly devalued yourself. Willing to accept any kind of interaction, just to have the tiny bit of companionship that he's providing. This is not good. You're virtually giving yourself away, with no real anything in return.

You are all emotional about this guy, totally creating positive scenarios in your own mind, to fit the negative evidence. Disregarding what he tells you and what you see ... point blank ... and making it be something else ... something loving and kind.

Sister ... i don't think this is a good relationship for you.

Look at the up and down rollercoaster like environment that you've allowed your body, feelings, emotions, love, and everything to be in. Perhaps you don't know that a relationship doesn't have to go like this. Perhaps you've not been in a good one yet. But trust me, someone will love you totally and completely, giving you all of himself, without you even asking ... but you must be patient and wait for that ... don't sell yourself short.

I know it's not easy to just let go. I know baby, and you probably won't be able to do that right away ... but that's what you should be moving toward.

You've accepted so much ill-treatment from this Man, that there's very little hope in my mind, that he will ever treat you the way you want to be treated. Because you've accepted so much ugly treatment, that when he gives you a tiny bit of good treatment, you think you're doing something, that you all have arrived and all is well! Like going to church on Sunday together, makes up for him putting his penis inside of another. You're fooling yourself Sweetie, and that's worse than someone else fooling you, and more difficult to fix.

You didn't get what you wanted in the beginning, and you're not getting what you want in the end (now), yet you're wondering why. You're the only one wondering why. That's because you're all in it, can't really see the forest for the trees. Everyone else is standing outside of it, looking, and wondering, why are you putting up with this.

What is his motivation to change, when you'll put up with everything he dishes out? He tells you to go upstairs while he talks to some other woman, not just any woman, but the woman he loves (based on what you read), and you do it. The relationship starts out with him inside of your body and hers, but this is not what you want, but you continue to stay?

Sister Sister Sister ... no one can do anything to you, that you don't allow.

It isn't even his fault, that he's doing you this way.

It's your fault. You are allowing this to exist.

If you like it, stay in it.

If you're not concerned about death, sexually transmitted diseases, respect, etc., stay in it.

I think your friend is right ... except he's not using you ... you're letting him use you.

You have some responsibility in your own well-being, and if you forsake that, others will take advantage of it.

That's what is happening now.

You must love yourself enough, to not let anyone mistreat you.

If you continue in this way, he will only be the current person mistreating you, but not the last.

When you love yourself, you don't let folk inside of your body, without FIRST receiving all that you need (respect, commitment, HIV/AIDS tests, etc.).

If you let them in without these things ... you can't really complain.

Yeah Sweetie ... i'd ease away from this relationship ... first moving my heart, feelings, and mind out of it ... and then your body will follow.

Love You ...Take Care of Yourself!

:heart:

Destee
 
Goddess Auset333 said:
Beloved QG Destee:

You said it all, rightly too.

It is still my desire that she get the book I recommened, because when one is living in denial, one will easily reject Truth, in what we say and what htey read.

My last coment ont his thread.

HILy/A

Sister Goddess Auset ... thank you Beloved.

Sometimes, when one doesn't take heed to advice given, it's not always a sign of rejection of the truth. I know with my own daughter, who is her age, they just gotta see some things for themselves. Even just recently, like yesterday, my daughter was telling me ... Momma, i should have listened to you. When she doesn't, it's not like she's rejecting me or my advice. They are where they are, in young, impressionable, 20+ year old minds and bodies. They have to work some things out for themselves. It's just my hope that working it out for themselves, doesn't kill them, but makes them stronger.

I think we all did this when we were younger ... and even still do it today.

There are just some things we gotta see for ourselves, gotta go through, no matter what another says.

I've not read the book you suggested, but i will check it out ... Thanks Beloved! :grouphug:

:heart:

Destee
 

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