Black Parenting : Playing "Step" Dad

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Coach707, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi all. Im new to the forum and Im glad that I have a place to unite with positive black people in order to better myself for the sake of the black family, and for the continued effort to empower black America.


    I was wondering if anyone has any insight on being a step-father to a black child in these trying times. I believe that raising children is one of the more challenging tasks we must face today. My step-son will be 4 on Febuary 3rd, and I know that the older he gets, the bigger the challenges that are to come about.

    What are some of your thoughts on successful step-parenting?
     
  2. kemetkind

    kemetkind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Coach welcome to the site! I don't personally have any experience on step-parenting but I just wanted to say welcome brother.
     
  3. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks, I really appreciate the love.
     
  4. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What I've found to be the most effective and imo, the most important element in step-parenting is to have a similar mindset on parenthood with that of the mother. If there is a differing of opinion, one of you will have to be allowed to take the lead, and the other will have to support them unequivocally. The child have to see a united front from both parents, and it also strengthen the union of the family. Other than that...have fun and enjoy being a parent.

    I salute you and if you're asking others for their opinions, that means that you care...that's the first step.
     
  5. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just love him Coach707 and treat him as your own. My son has a step-father who just loves him, and I had a step-father who just loved me too. My husband, and my mother do or did nothing special, they just showed us love, compassion, and guided us. My step-father disciplined us (my sisters and I) when needed and always gave us the love and attention we deserved. Do the same to your son and STEP will never even be a word used in your household. Lots of luck.
     
  6. KammyXLE83

    KammyXLE83 Member MEMBER

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    Yeah she's right I have stepparents and continue to show love. Also, don't force it but make sure they know you are there for them. It might be a little easier because he's young but making sure he knows you are someone he can lean on is important. I'm sure if you are on here asking for some advice you must be a loving man just make sure he knows it.

    Have fun!!
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Being a step parent is a task , you have to give unconditionally
    mentally and morally work together as parents and treat the
    child or children as your own , help guide there lives and surely
    the growth of the child or children will be fine , do your part show
    love and honor.

    Good Luck
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Get rid the step and be a father. Any child that is in your care, you support financially or you support emotionally is being fathered by you not step-fathered. Infact think of it like this if the childs biological father is in his life he should feel comfortable with your presence around his child. What happened between the childs mother and father has nothing to do with you or the child. If relationship between exes and current spouses is centered around the welfare of the child then there won't be a problem. I always say my son has two mothers which is a blessing for my son. So there's nothing wrong with having two fathers. There's no such thing as too much love....


    Peace...
     
  9. Ala

    Ala Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes , My response was going to be as Radical so Rightly put it ...Welcome Coach 707
     
  10. thesolsurvivor

    thesolsurvivor Member MEMBER

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    growing up my mom had 2 boyfriends that i know of......... the first 1 was great....... treated me like i was his.... the 2nd guy i just didnt like @ all & made it a point to be a pain in his ***..... i often took money out of his wallet...... i went to great lengths to drive home the point that he was not welcome nor was i going to be "good/ happy" should they get married.......my mother did everything she could to make it work out..... both of my sisters (17 yrs older than me) had a long talk w / me, but it only made things worse for him....... it got to the point where he just had to go cause .... i wasnt leaving!

    some kids just dont want another parent.... thats really not their parent, in their home...... trying to be a parent..... my attitude back then was if you want to be someones daddy...... go have some kids.... with someone else!

    this is part of the reason i do not date women with children today......
     
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