Black Parenting : Planning for Single Motherhood

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by skuderjaymes, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    If you want to have a baby and don't have a partner, should you take the leap on your own before it's too late?

    By: Jacque Reid

    "I never thought I'd be here." That's what Beth Espy thought of her life about two years ago. She was 40 years old, single and childless.

    "Time goes by fast," she says. "I wasn't even this career woman -- I had a decent job. But time just got away from me."

    It's as if Beth was putting her voice to my thoughts. This past holiday season served as a somber reminder that 2010 ended with my being no closer to becoming a mother than I was the same time a year ago. And my biological clock has become a deafening reminder that if I don't get pregnant in 2011, I may never.

    A mutual friend suggested that I give Beth a call because she did what I am considering. She gave up waiting for marriage and had a baby on her own. And later this month, on Jan. 20, little Brynn Elise Espy will turn 1 year old. Beth decided that a sperm donor was her best route to motherhood. And while it wasn't an easy decision, she has no regrets.

    Beth and I had never met, but it was like catching up with an old friend when I phoned. We all but finished each other's sentences as we spoke about our failed relationships over the years and our insatiable desires to have children. Also, if Beth and I had it to do all over again, we would not have waited so long for husbands and would have made the choice to become single mothers much earlier in our lives.

    Despite our similarities, I have yet to take the same leap Beth did. But I believe that single, young professional black women need to develop a plan for having a baby on their own. While this is not an issue unique to black women, we have to consider the statistics that the media will not let us ignore: Only half of black women marry by the age of 30, compared with 81 percent of white women.

    I'm not saying abandon your plans to find a husband. But at the same time, also put some serious effort into mapping out how you would orchestrate single motherhood. For example, go ahead and figure out how you want to become impregnated: have a baby with a friend or casual sexual partner, or use an anonymous donor? Better to have a plan in place than trying to throw one together under the pressure of possibly running out of time.

    http://www.theroot.com/views/planning-single-motherhood?

    Jacque Reid is a broadcast journalist and a contributing editor for The Root. Listen to her biweekly on The Tom Joyner Morning Show, visit her at jacquereid.com and follow her on Twitter.
     
  2. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is just bizarre.. i hate to say this but this is a classic example of black women imitating white women...love how religion was used to spin this situation in her favor aswell..
     
  3. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    [SIZE="3[COLOR="Navy"]"]"Time goes by fast," she says. "I wasn't even this career woman -- I had a decent job. But time just got away from me."[/COLOR]

    This is the most telling line. Females plan for their education. They plan for their career. But the single most important and intimate thing in their lives, they just leave to chance. Now, you have a group of females in this category, tilting at windmills. They are ignoring over 60 years of documentation, showing the folly of what they are about to do. Studies, data and facts on being an oow mother are overwhelmingly conclusive. The prisons (95%) are full of their children. AA, Synanon, etc are full of their children.

    Families and retirement should be thought about as soon as we turn 18













    :em0200:



    [/SIZE]
     
  4. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's more than that... most Nigerian women usually go for education first (and these women usually go to school for 6 to 7 years on an average to get their masters and PHDs) then marriage later and works for them... the problem in the US is 1)religion praying to God to send you a man.. WTF??2) not wanting to expand ones horizon 3) being afraid of leaving home 3) the listening to family members, pastors etc...
     
  5. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    All Nigerian women are not college educated. I am sure the majority fit in similar categories as the west. Yet, they marry













    :em0200:


     
  6. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  7. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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  8. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :10500:american women or american visas?
     
  10. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
     
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