Black Relationships : Personal Space

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all, I have been on in a while, I know. So I am back in action for now.

    For those who are in a relationship, you guys should not have a problem replying to this. For those who are currently single, let's pretend you are in a relationship for a moment. What is your idea of her giving you space? Do you feel that giving each other space brings you two closer, and if so, why? What do you consider not giving enough space, and give an example or two. And what do you consider giving TOO much space?

    Thanks
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think everyone in a relationship should have a degree of space
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay. I understand that, but that doesn't answer my question. Lol.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    It good to have space between the two that will help keep the fire burning
    more to share when the two join back at home , it brings you closer indeed

    A woman love her time away as well a Man who love his private space
    it opens doors to be with friends away from your best friend which is thy mate

    when your mate hugs around you too much all day every day is not enough space
    but what i call muzzling which can bring the relationship to become boring or one
    will become tired of the other

    closeness is good but often bring on arguemental things or boring tales
    1. always around 24/7 don't want your mate to go anywhere or with anyone

    2. nothing to talk about new because the two been around each other all day
    often become boring and can space the relationship

    given that space away brings good things in return not muzzling the mate.

    Too much space can cost a relationship or harm the love between the too
    like letting one's mate be so freely out in the streets at clubs / parties as so forth
    never around one's mate opens doors for new friendship in his or her life can
    flame up when they feel pushed away or not loved by this so wide of space.

    Often more then any he or she will feel you don't care.
     
  5. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Examples of not enough space:Spending the night at one's house every night.
    Everywhere they go you want to go.
    Answering their cell for no reason.
    Watching the game with him and his friends and no other women are there.
    Calling them every five minutes either on the phone or in person.

    Examples of too much space-Calling only twice a week.
    Hanging out more with your friends than your mate.
    Occasional sex.
    Dating other people.
    Lack of intimacy(sex not included)very little hugging,kissing,conversation,nonchalont about important subjects in either one's lives.
     
  6. Eks

    Eks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A key variable is what are the preliminary parameters the two established at the beginning of the relationship, and how have the two of you VERBALLY agreed to adjust them. Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong here…. It is my experience that a woman who is interested exclusively in me primarily want to know that if/when she wants to connect with me that I am available; minimally to communicate and establish the proverbial when/where/how/if. At times it may simply be to bounce something off of me.

    I also make certain that I spend down-time with her – at either of our homes – in addition to the personal/professional development activities & projects. I encourage her to spend time with her family & FEMALE friends, and I do the same, informing her ahead of time. AND, I make sure that I take time exclusively for myself (fishing, movies, reading, etc.). BUT, again, I inform her, as well as am available via phone if she wants me.

    This pattern has worked for me. The females who couldn’t jive with this generally did/do not make it past the (excuse my crudeness ladies) third bedding. Clash of expectations….. It ain’t a bad thing, just clashing expectations.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed that is the key to the relationship is communication
    allowing each other to know of plans and so forth there are many
    ways each human life will look or accept this thing call space !

    Cursed Heart ......sis you on point

    Eks..... indeed u express the communication line well
     
  8. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Eks stated:
    Exactly. Right on... there has to be a standard; if not it gives a person leeway in controlling the relationship solely to their liking.

    Peace
     
  9. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sounds good to me. I would say that "too much space" is any 'distance' (lack of communication/contact) between the two of you that leads to a lack of communication and neglect. The keywords here is a Healthy BALANCE and this varies from person to person and relationship to relationship.

    Peace!
     
  10. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the responses folks.
     
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