Black Relationships : Personal Privacy in Relationships?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Coach707, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A friend of mine is going through a terrible divorce only because her husband supposedly stumbled across her daily journal and read all about her sexual fantasies a man whom she worked with. She also told me that she described in detail a casual relationship with another guy. I feel bad because that guy was me, but the issue at hand is far greater.

    Is there a right to personal space and personal privacy once two people get married? Of course her husband has a right to get mad, but was her privacy violated? Or, as her spouse does he have the right to invade her personal space?

    What do you all think?
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think there has to be a respect for personal privacy in a healthy relationship. I also think your friend was extremely foolish to keep such a daily journal. It can't be assumed that her husband was looking through her panty drawer for dirt. He could have stumbled upon it, or she might have given him a reason to look. I don't blame him for being upset by what he found.
     
  3. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think everyone needs there space
    Whether they are married or not
    I mean you really dont want your mate
    Going everywhere you go
    It gets kind of annoying
    Sometimes too the point it can defuse the relationship
    So I think space is needed-Maybe even have your own room
    Within your home where you can just relax
    Nothing wrong with that
     
  4. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Personal privacy in a marriage? Now, that's a tricky question it seems.....

    When two people get married the majority of your "personal privacy" goes out the window. It would have to depend on his reasoning for reading her "personal diary". If its to simply try to catch her doing something wrong, then there are trust issues within the relationship. But, he has every right just as she does to look through anything that is considered personal. If neither party is hiding anything, then there shouldn't be a problem. Apparently, he was having some suspicions and decided to investigate. As a married person having intense fantasies about a co-worker and a "friend" are definately reasons for him being upset. Wouldn't you feel betrayed? I'd be pissed because she was having problems with her attraction to her co-worker. How long before she acts on her fantasies? Especially if they're having some problems, and if not him then someone else. Then she goes on to describe her personal relationship with a "friend". She seems to have a problem with her priorities, which should lie with her husband. Not a co-worker and definately not a "friend".

    Personal space is reserved for single people.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is difficult to share a house/apartment with someone; share a bathroom with someone; share a bedroom with someone, and not be in someone's personal space. I agree with you completely in this regard jgyknowledge.
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In a Word....


    NO! Your spouse and you are suppose to become one. Everything, especially as you describe, is fair game. She would do better to cover her tracks. Moreover, if she had problems in the marriage, she would have done better to just break it off rather than commit adultery
     
  7. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well first you aint slick,:huh: I saw where you had a little something to do with her infidelity! Not to be funny but why do you care?
    You hit, her husband hit and now she's fantasizing about another man?
    Either she was not happy with hubby or she should have never gotten married in the first place!
    I couldn't keep a journal from my mother let alone my husband who basically was in my space as I was in his constantly!
    A divorce yes that's best!
     
  8. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel bad for ole dude. I dont think he deserved to be treated that way, but hel! I fugured if not me, she'd get someone else to satisfy her needs. Not to mention her and I have been friends since grade school.
     
  9. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Don't take what I say the wrong way, but.......

    Honestly, how can you even say that you feel bad? If you felt bad, then you wouldn't have screwed dudes wife. In my opinion, you should have respected her, and her marriage before anything else. EVEN if she didn't. She apparently has some issues, and as a FRIEND you should've guided her in the right direction....and that's not on her back.

    But, life is like that sometimes, and please don't think that I am judging you!



     
  10. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What a chitty and selfish way of thinking!
    All the while she was confiding in you and you wanted her?
    So since she was cheating you thought you'd donate some to the infidelity society?
    Ya bogus as a friend:mad: and she needs to get it together!:mad:
    So now she is getting a divorce and going through it and you're ok1
     
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