Black Short Stories : Pen Pals

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by AACOOLDRE, May 25, 2016.


    AACOOLDRE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    United States
    Jul 26, 2001
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    THE PEN PAL’S CAPER: Prison correspondence from the outside to in; Texas style

    By Gentleman, Andre Austin

    Cast of Characters:

    Regina (can’t get right), Rose,) Rose female prisoner serving time for unarmed robbery and former dancer at the Carewoousel strip club.

    Dee Wright Alston (Law student at St Vincent St Saul Unitarian University @ Dallas)

    El-Passo Drake (pimp and dope pusher)

    LC ( Lala Clifford, a fellow Law student & female drug treatment counselor)

    Bananoo Rubee (Italian/Jewish mobster owner of the Carewoousel strip club).

    Catt Filliams (comedian at the Carewooousel strip club)

    Sheeran Zangetty (Law professor at St Vincent St Paul)

    Alex (regular student)

    Jay Jonas (owner of Wartimes News radio program)

    David, JB, Lil Kim Goodie & Pee Wee (All friends of Dee Wright)


    DEE’s Team: Pen Pals on the down-low

    When you write you write,

    And your pen just moves just like the super scribe you are

    You weave your words like a magic fountain pen dropped down from afar

    And when she moved her head on your stick I knew she wasn’t Green

    Like a snake she unstitched her jaws and rinsed me off like Listerine

    Re’s on Deee’s team, Dee’s team, Dee’s team

    She’s on Dee’s Team

    We are Pen Pal’s forever and her big bootie is a player’s dream

    She’s on Dee’s Team, Dee’s Team, Dee’s Team… Re’s on Dee’s team

    I’m the one who has a thousands words

    Bringing light to Justice and Satan feels its absurd

    But I’ll free you Re out of that iron nest and cage

    I will write your freedom down just let me be your sage

    On Dee’s Team, Dee’s Team, Get up on Dee’s team

    Just keep the bootie solid round, rock hard and mean

    And don’t you dear jump off of:

    Dee’s Team, Dee’s Team, Dee’s Team…. Stay on Dee’s team

    Oh I wish you never was a Dope-fiend, a Dopefiend, a pitiful Dopefiend

    You’re doing a lot of things that don’t even make no sense

    Like being in a red robe jumping over a barb-wired fence

    Reality starts to vanish and things aren’t what they seem

    Lets stay together on Dee’s team, Dee’s team, Dee’s team…. On Dee’s team

    (Zangetty has just finished up teaching his Theology & Law class. The bell has rang and students have 10 minute break before his other class begins for Seniors who are doing their Internship/Independent law dissertation for their final grade before they are able to graduate and take the bar exam. As the seniors arrive in to take their seats, Zangetty is doing some small talk with a junior student Alex from his previous class.)

    Zangetty: Well you know Alex Ben Johnson wrote long ago that famous play The Devil is an *** and nobody knew that the Devil’s cousin or brother Jesus was symbolic of an *** (donkey) too, but just in the positive and the Devil’s Azzzz was in the negative with all of its offshoots of jazz music and homosexuality. This is why they all shape their hair in a donkey style to let everybody know they down with the boootie.

    Alex: So you trying to say that NY weather girl on the Today/Tonight show who’s original from Texas sprung from the Island of Lesbos.

    Zangetty: yes just look at her hair Alex. Her mother named her Tamaar due to the fact she was born by rape just like David’s brother Ammmun. And because Tamaar had sex with her brother Amnon who said “Come to bed with me, my sister” (2 Samuel 13:7-11). Yes people name their offspring with double meanings. Her parents were Catholic and wouldn’t abort the fetus. When Tamaar learned of her true origins she traveled to the Island of Lebos and vowed to never allow a man to enter and poke her sacred canal.

    Alex: so her hair styles serves as a signal to other secret citizens of the island of Lesbos?

    Zangetty: Now you’re starting to connect the dots young grasshopper

    Alex: Yeah right Sir Confucius.

    (The Bell rings with the start of the Senior class)

    Zangetty: Well that’s my time; I will see you next time in class

    Alex: okay, write me a pass so I will not be marked down as tardy for my science class in room 107.

    (As Zangetty writes the pass he tells him to keep what they said between the two of them)

    Zangetty: If the Dean gets wind of what I said my goose is cooked and my tenure is through.

    Alex: It’s all good I ain’t no snitch

    (His new class begins)

    Zangetty: I know that it has been a long four year ride in law school. Your last assignment will be to find a convicted felon to agree to allow you to file an appeal for them under my supervision. If you are successful in getting a trial date without it being dismissed for lack of merit you get an A. If you’re not successful in your appeal will be given an B, C, D or E being judged on other variables and factors of creativity, sound legal research of precedents etc, etc. You have exactly three months to pull this off. Your papers should be between 25-50 pages and no more than that. I’m not interested in reading a book but how you can save someone legally. Well you have your assignment and class is now dismissed. See you all in three months.

    (Dee Wright Alston walks out of the class with his friend LC. They stop for a chat in the halls for a moment).

    Dee Wright: hey LC what do you think about us getting back together.

    LC: Well that’s funny because we were never together.

    Dee Wright: Well its been a hit and miss. But you did call me over to come visit at 2am in the morning. Now you can’t say that wasn’t a bootie call. I couldn’t come over because you lived out of town and I didn’t have the gas money to feed my hog Cadillac.

    LC: Yes, please and I’m glad you got rid of that big old purple prince boat. And it wasn’t a bootie call I just wanted us to watch some movies together.

    Dee Wright: bull shi…t you know you were horny like a jack rabbit in Hugh Heffner’s royal bed.

    (LC cracks a crocodile grin and eyes sparkle up with agreement)

    LC: Ladies can’t get caught being horny because we get called sluts and hoes while guys get packed on the back. We can only be horny to our boyfriends and husbands. You should have told me you were running short on gas. You know my father works at Saul’s gas station/Car wash on Milwaukee Street and he would have filled you up on personal credit.

    Dee Wright: **** I should of thought of that but I was so hard I couldn’t think logically. I could only see an image of you on the phone when you bent over the desk at the office in those red polyester pants. I love Polyester because it helped us get out of slavery from King Cotton.

    (LC start to laugh LOL)

    Dee Wright: and you know why they called them Poly-Ester

    LC: Tell me why I’m just dying to know

    Easter (Ester) is the pagan holiday for sex. All that Poly-Ester is like leggings hugging tight around all those chocolate Easter bunnies’ behinds.

    (LC starts to laugh again)

    LC. Dee you are a freak, a butt freak at that.

    Dee Wright: yeah you know it and that’s why you teased me for two years when we worked together at the Jefferson Way Recovery Center. You were shaking that *** like it was no tomorrow. You can shake that azzz like a $2 milk shake.

    LC: And you never found out how many shakes it would take to get to my Tootsie roll either.

    Dee Wright: Well God-daaaamnnn the grocery line was too long for me to find out. Had me playing phone tag, begging like a wino, and groveling down.

    LC: We play hard to get so when you get it you’ll think it’s the baddest and best grocery store you ever shopped and ate at in your life. But your memory is kind of off Dee. Recall it was you who wanted to elope with that London girl who was trying desperately to get an American green card and citizenship.

    Dee Wright: I know I was wrong for shaking my head in agreement when you brought up the topic of marriage but we weren’t even going together. And we had no pre-consummation, after failing to visit you twice at your request. But you already know with a woman’s super-intuition that I crazy-dig you and would do anything to have you. In baseball its three strikes you out and you could at least give me another third chance at this thing called love.

    LC: We will see, we will see

    Dee Wright: That’s cool because without forgiveness love is like on quicksand without a foundation. If your heart could be so kind enough again to let me come in I promise to bring the moon down up under your feet and I will even kiss your toes. LC I totally confess to you, I’m no longer shy, afraid and sacred to express myself. I’m ready and I want to get up in it.

    LC: bust out with laughter and says: Okay, Okay, think me think about it. Just keep on calling. But just remember my new rules: there has to be a ring on my finger before you ring my bell. So anyway enough of this. Now what do you plan on doing your research paper on Dee?

    Dee Wright: I was thinking about offering my services to the Kid. The purple Prince’s illegitimate offspring who’s in the joint. I was going to file a wrongful death of prince and charge Warner Brothers with the conspiracy.

    LC: Conspiracy? Well what did they do?

    Dee Wright: They wanted to teach the Kid a lesson for marking up his face with SLAVE. That Mobster’s like Kimble Miori and Roselli wanted to get all the blacks in line with making an example of Prince. Prince didn’t die of an overdose of prescription medicine. When Prince was doing a concert at the Carewoousell Strip club their stand up comedian Catt Filliams poisoned Prince’s grey poo pond dinner plate with rat poison that took 15 days to take full effect. But before Catt poisoned Prince he tried to get some of Prince’s pre-sperm so he could impregnate his girlfriend so they could lay a claim to his estate. Prince was wearing those infamous pants that had no covering of his backside. When Prince back was turned Catt took a Turkey baser and sucked up some of his sperm from the behind. The plan backfired and everybody got the last laugh on dumb Catt. When the Mensa society of high IQ’s found out about it they kicked him out the club and he got fired from the Carewoosell strip club too.

    LC: Prince’s sun isn’t going to let you do that because he doesn’t know or just you. And how did you find out about this anyway?

    Dee Wright: **** you must live in a cave or a witness protection program or something. Don’t you listen to the Wartimes radio program?

    LC: Oh you listen to that conspiracy nut Jay Jonas? And let me remind you I’m a drug counselor at a Girls & Boys prison now I have to go through extra precaution to protect my privacy.

    Dee wright: Oh I did forget about those incidents three years ago when you had some former inmates stalking you. And that’s why you called my azzzz when I was out of gas to come down there and kick it with you. You wanted me to be a buffer against big azzz bald-headed Damon who wanted to oil his nuts in your mouth. Yeah you tried to trick and use me. And that’s why you haven’t taken no pictures of yourself and put them on the social media. You act like you in a witness protection program or something. So I guess that’s why you freaked out when I mailed you all your high school pictures on your upcoming 20 year anniversary from Vultures high School.

    LC: Well better than you than me, but I still love you Dee. You know I even told you I wanted to have your child but your dumb azzz was tripping over that girl from London. I need a man and you were MIA when I needed you to protect me, hold me and love me. But you were like an Invisible man. And I try to stay like an invisible woman because the beauty of my image can launch ships into war like Helen or get a thousand men to launch a prison break out to get a piece of azzz from me. I don’t want to get up like Gabrielle Union and have some man take advantage of me and lock me up in my own house inside my shoe closet or something.

    Dee Wright: Well I found out about the situation from another dude who told me you had men waiting in line for you. I don’t like sloppy 2nd 3rd 4th or fifths. Besides JB was hooking me up with some chicks anyway. But when all is said and done when the smoke cleared up you still was a righteous sister who should be given only the best in everything. You are an excellent counselor and I take advice when its laid on me. I guess I will have to find another source to do some legal work for. So what are you gonna do your legal work on?

    LC: I’m writing a manual on NA & AA and its effects on the Law. I know a girl who was forced to sit in the jail cell and detox from heroin cold turkey. She was throwing up and shitting in her pannies in the holding tank. I’m gonna write a manual and let her use the information as leverage to get time taken off her prison sentence. The manual also is an offshoot of Nancy Reagan’s “Just say no” program. Its upgraded to them saying yes to the Lord and submitting and obeying your parents and all the appointed authorities.

    Dee Wright: A light bulb just sprung up in my head. I’ve got an idea. About three years ago I met this chick at the Carewoousell strip club. Her name was Regina Rose and she danced for the club owner Banano Rubee. Bananoo was a cousin to Al Capone and used to run drugs for him. I was eating with David and Pee Wee. David called Regina Rose over to our table and he cashed her out for 2 hours for $100 dollars and we took her over to my crib.

    LC: And what happened when she got to your house what did you do.

    Dee Wright: Daammmn can you wait on the punchline. I didn’t do ****. David had some crack and weed and took her upstairs to my guest room and beat up the coochie like a wood pecker beats the wood, like a factor worker lays down the hammer on the block. David and Pee Wee didn’t have a car so I drove her to the park in my purple Cadillac. But before I let I got some pieces of crack out of David’s ash tray to use as negotiating strategy so I could get me some azzz.

    LC: So you got you some azzz. You know before we do anything you gonna have to take an STD test.

    Dee Wright: You too Baby, U too. Remember that grocery line of players

    LC: Nobody went up in me except for my late husband with whom we had one sun. Everybody else had on a condom from Troy (Trojans) in Turkey or Ramesses in Egypt. I was saving some bare Winnie for you and only you.

    Dee wright: well anyway Regina Rose had a bootie that was in the top three in my black sex book. I’m gonna use that connection to get her confidence to allow me to write an appeal for her.

    LC: yeah if you write her some of your little poems and little short stories she just might let you do it.

    Dee Wright: Why they got to be little? Speaking of Little. Ain’t you the one trying to write another book about drugs thats only a hundred pages. You got to stop being so professional and clinical. People want to hear personal, deep hearted stories. Now take Regina Rose for example. Regina was so strung out on heroin and crack the dope dealer El-Passoo Drake had her on top of the Texas school book depository building licking a pit bull’s balls for $40 dollars of crack. Then on another day he tricked in the back of his car late at night behind the picket fence behind the grassy knoll in Dallas. After he was finished with her he threw her out of the car butt-naked and made her walk down Elm Street. He got the perverted idea from a jazz singer who was also from Texas.

    LC: Yeah I remember that Erica Badooo was pulling off that incredible publicity stunt to boost up her record sells.

    Dee Wright: Well you see LC you need block buster stories like that. Sensationalism and a little exaggeration is the key baby. Now after all of that abuse Regina Rose still didn’t learn her lesson. She got caught robbing a blind woman’s purse who had a baby fetus of a Kawala bear and baby Kangaroo rat in it. The animal lovers of Texas were appalled and outraged. The Judge threw the book at her and turned the courtroom into a circus like atmosphere.

    LC: Something like a Kangaroo court

    Dee Wright: that’s exactly what it was and will be in part the bases of my appeal for her.

    LC: So what will be your grounds for appeal?

    Dee Wright: the Judge declined a change of venue for all the pre-trial publicity. 2nd was that the judge didn’t consider her being mentally unbalance as mitigating action. She wasn’t insane but wasn’t 100% sound of mind.

    LC: I would like to see you pull it off with that basket case. I’ve had her in group therapy and she’s always flying in clouds and never always there.

    Dee Wright: Sounds like some envy to me. You just mad because her bootie is bigger than yours.

    LC: Well when its hot out there my chocolate rump shrinks a little, but its still enough to hypnotize you all this time under a trance.

    Dee Wright: Well it ain’t about the bootie its about writing my paper so I can finish law school.

    (So Dee Wright started writing his poems and short stories to Regina Rose and re-developed his friendship with her. LC and Dee often studied together at her house and shared notes of legal research. They started falling in love and talking of marriage. Here is example of some of Dee Wright’s super dynamite lines he was laying down on Regina off of LC’s laptop. LC didn’t mind because she was confident he had dee wrapped around her finger. Dee first had to jog Regina’s memory so he wrote her a poem of their first incident together).


    The back seat chick, the back seat chick

    We don’t have to watch a porno flick, cuz we already live it

    Now get your *** out the seat and go make that cash

    I’m finna put a penny on your bootie while you shake that ***

    All the ******* and the hoes better have my money

    Throw her ***** up in the air and it will get real sunny

    Now Don’t you give me no sass just me some dome

    And when I’m all finished baby girl you can take a long walk home

    Now call the rehab clinic cuz I know she’s addicted to the Dick

    I had her sprung from the beginning as the back seat Chick

    Like Civil War General Hooker who set up the red light district

    Don’t get scared little Re when I pull out the big bull constrictor

    It’s the One-eyed monster shooting milk in yo face

    I leave $20 dollars on the counter and then dispersed the place

    Ho, ho, ho here comes big daddy, the Young Saint Nick

    As I ride you on my sledge you can be my Back seat Chick

    I’m the cream of the crop, your number one pick

    Bend it on over while I’ll pull out my *****

    My back seat chick, my back seat chick

    Yes baby girl, you can be my back seat Chick

    (Regina wrote back and said: Hello Dee Wright. So I see your not gonna let me forget about that episode in my life? Dee would then carry on with a series of letters and poems)

    Dear Dee Wright:

    **** Dee its been a long time since I’ve heard anything from you. I’ve enjoyed your letters but don’t ever invite me to your butt hole again. I don’t do that type of Shiiit. I stay away from all garbage cans if you know what I mean. Where did you learn to write so witty? Must be that preppy law school you’re attending or that Methodist College you went to. But on the serious tip I’m no longer that back seat chick you used to know.

    When are you gonna learn how to spell panties it isn’t pannies. You’re smarter than hell but still hooked on Ebonics. I don’t know about having any more kids. I’m cool with my 19 year old daughter who’s in junior college right now studying in nursing school. I never wanted to have more than one baby daddy but that was based on having multiple kids under 18. It just causes a lot of mess and confusion. But hey you wrote about it so **** well and slick I just might spread my legs for you and pop out a sun just for you. But I don’t want more than just one more, so you’ll have to compromise on that.

    So how’s your job coming along? I’ve heard they are clamping down on your distribution of your short stories on college campus. You better learn to submit and go along with the program. You better stop criticizing those corporations and law enforcement agencies. You know they got tentacles more than an Octopus has arms. They don’t call them the long arm of the law for nothing, especially with all of their snitches.

    Every Wednesday night I attend bible school but you are hipping me up more on the religious tip than the priests can on any given day. I’m digging your legal research too. I’m ready to get the hell out of here. Being around women 24-7 has made me lose my taste for them. I’m ready to off of this Island more that Gilligan and his stranded crew. These girls are eating each other out night and day like they were some cannibals or vampires or something else.

    But anyway, we get to have our own flat screen TV and I’m now watching season 1 of Empire and How to get away with murder. You should consider publishing your poetry. They are both erotic and Romantic. Well my time is running out they only allow us 15 minutes on the computer per day plus count time is just around the corner.

    I love your letters so continue to write me Dee.



    P.S. Put some money on my account so I can buy some more stamps so I can keep on writing you back

    (So Dee Wright shot back another letter)

    Dear Regina Rose:

    I was disappointed to hear that you have pledged to remain dry throughout your incarceration. You abide in a fixed habitation and no one would place any blame on you if you would take out for a swim every now and then. You must maintain the pipes or else the inner muscles might go to waste. Now I picture u in a long black robe with a convent hood. Like you’re in self-exile in a convent or monastery singing: “nobody knows how dry I’m in”. While perhaps all the other females up in the bunk in the evening hums songs in a chorus of moans and groans. I say you must cease in forbidding yourself to take any recreation and the necessities of passion and pleasure. You have gone through the proper period of repentance. I see nothing wrong with a little bit of bump and grind. Take a dive and baptized yourself into the face of the deep, dark sea. Just don’t get on your knees and wade through the seas of blood and commit to idol worship. Cuz when you get out I want you knee deep with me. But until then deprive yourself not of the mental tranquility.

    So I leave you with a poem:

    @ Carewoosell Club we live by the Jungle Creed

    Where the working girls and hustlers must take out and feed

    On any given circumcised mushroom delight at hand

    Where all the Super-Freaks I branded as a beast

    While her lips get sloppy from her feast

    Her ATM machine swipes a debit card from man

    From this little poem I’m trying to bring Good news

    For all of those suffering under the penitentiary blues

    Sometime you gotta get thirsty and drink and get wet

    A player plays on & the Gambler makes money by his bets

    You are the one I want to keep and get

    But the terms and the conditions haven’t been written down yet

    Peace Dee Wright

    ( Her second letter came in)

    Dear Dee Wright:

    I think I’m falling madly in love with you Dee. I don’t think I can take spending another year in prison waiting on all of the legal entanglements and rigmarole to come through. I’m afraid I might lose you to another woman during the intermission and I will let myself die before I will allow that to happen. You’re not so empty like the rest and they ain’t nothing but a pair of pants with a strap around their waist. Maybe we can elope together down in Mexico if I was to escape in the laundry carts when the outside trucks come to pick them up. I’m going bonkers for you. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I will figure out something. So I leave you here with a little poem I wrote:

    The prison doors have shut against me embracing your lips and the cheeks of your face

    But I’m building up a plan to get out of this miserable place

    You had me bent over in the car and had a taste of me raw

    Now you’re trying to free me up with all the letters of the Law

    When will you visit me soon to soothe my weary eyes

    Let me know in advance don’t make it a unexpected surprise

    So that I can fix my hair all up and free from being so nappy

    I just want to look like your little princess and make you so happy

    Come to me, lets glue our lips together as one flesh one team that can win

    Until the bolts of these prison doors no longer has me in

    Truly yours,


    To: Regina Rose

    From: Dee Wright

    Hey get ready cuz big daddy coming down to see u Sunday. So keep your pannies on. I thought I had to wait to get a letter of authorization before I came down to the joint. Let me know.

    The timing is perfect with me being finished with all our research and ****. It looks like the appeal is going through but it will not come until the legal red tape is complete. And that could take a year. But hey 1 year is better than 7 more?

    Now Don’t pea on yourself when I put my tongue into your mouth and give you a grown man French kiss. Now if you were to be my woman I wouldn’t mind putting some chains and locks around my balls and Phallus for you for a couple of months. But I’ve been lonely and I like to get and stay wet too. Knocking the boots for men is on two levels: A mental love and a physical release. Men can be bi-polar truly loving their main squeeze but requiring extra curricula activity when they are lonely or to rejuvenate and revive their love. I plea the fifth not admitting this way or the other if I’m in this category. But you are my dear a gigantic chocolate risk of jumping back over to the Island of Lebos where the mythical adventures of Superwoman was created. Now I want to walk around the house feeling free as a bird with my nuts dangling everywhere with another reincarnation of Queen Cleopatra, minis her craftiness and tricks, at my side. A real trooper, giving me the black power sign as the super-sperm ejaculates into the atmosphere and into your mouth and all over your precious lips.

    My last Q is having to deal with the powerful subject of procreation. I got two daughters that where not put in my name and they don’t claim me. If I was to hit the lottery or something they would come out of the woods like roaches in the dark being hit with a light bulb. So I wish to have a male heir to my throne. I’m tired of being like the Biblical Onan who spills and waste his seed on the ground (Genesis 38:9), when it should be placed in mother earth of the womb. And I know the days of you being thrown out of cars entirely nude , on the roadside on Elm street, with only the natural public hairs to ornament your body are long gone (Jeremiah 3:2). I want you Regina. But I don’t want to be a fool and have you leap out of the joint, skip over my balls, and then jump into another coochie leaving me with mental anguish with the high hard, dry one.

    So I leave you with something heavy to think about and to anticipate my arrival, the coming of Dee Wright. The one and only one who wants to pull down your pannies.

    (After I wrote the third letter she allowed me to do legal work for her. I guess three is a charm. Here are excerpts of that third letter Dee Wright would eventually regret).

    Dear Regina Rose:

    I want you to know that I think that all of your questions are very important to me. So when I answer some, I may go off on a tangent, and inadvertently not come back to the rest of them. So if you could resend those inquires I would be delighted to entertain them to you. Now I’m also very pleased at your announcement to bend towards the attraction of the opposite sex for now on. And when you are sprung from the Big House I request you allow me to spill all my milky passions within your body so that we could become one-flesh in union. However, there is just one lingering stumbling block on your refusal to conceive again. How can I get you to compromise and prevent me from moving on? But I truly believe all big butt deserves a big nut.

    You are special to me because you bring out some of my best literary pens. I get motivated to write poetry and prose and express myself differently from the research writing I’m used to. In the past I was lenient on my companions. Now if a woman is mine and she get caught up into some serious violations I will put my foot down with light punishments. I just keep it simple No Dikes, No Drugs, No Defiance and just love me and say yes to my and only my Dick. Now if you are willing to shake your head in agreement with these terms, along with that 9 month Duration of creating another Dee Wright, well then me and you got a date with destiny. Can you do this? Will you have a love- child? I’m taking a risk on you and I hope you don’t pull a Delilah on me.

    Well I’m about to close. I usually try to keep my writing down to 1 page but I guess I just got caught up in the spirit and into my zone. I just wanted to update you on some ****. I just love being your pen pal. And I know these prison officials are just getting a kick out of the **** I’m throwing down. Hey they gotta get educated too. In the meanwhile get swollen upon this poem:


    I’m laying down the law on this here stationary paper

    So just submit and agree to all of the wonderful terms

    Don’t even try to trick it with a Delilah Caper

    Just accept it, give in and invite Roscoe in which is my Super-Sperm

    He only needs a 9-month sway and stay

    Or just a countdown of 270 days

    Hit me back up on the prison wire of Jpay

    And tell me if you still care and what you have to say

    It’s a natural thing, but it’s necessary to hit the hay

    U did it all before when you were exiled from the island of the gay

    So when I come down there just let my tongue get erect and All-In

    So I can shimmy it all up like a fish does its fins

    My tongue is like an electric eel so just watch and see

    It can spark a light in your pannies and like a pup in excitement you’ll pee

    Hey I’m just a squirrel trying to get some groceries of a Nut

    Reminiscing from the back seat view of that big-old-chocolate-Butt

    So here it’s, how do I love thee

    Like Tupac said, “Holler if you hear me”

    Hey you don’t need no Dred-locks cuz big worm likes a simple perm

    So tell me how u feel about the terms of Roscoe’s Super-sperm?

    (After about 6 months passed LC and Dee Wright both got their law degrees and got married. When Regina Rose got wind of it by reading it in the papers she was highly irate. She plotted an escape to get back revenge. Dee Wright felt like he squared everything up with her. After all Dee Wright had made a deal with Bananoo Rubee to pay back El-Passo Drake for that roof incident and grassy knoll streak. Bananoo had kidnapped El-passo’s relatives and forced him to run down naked at the Super Waterbowl Football game that was held at Christi Corpee Stadium. He then released his family members after Drake submitted to a castration surgery of Bananoo’s switch blade. He learned this form of punishment from his cousin Capone. They even gave Drake some truth serum of Pentothal to find his secret stash of dough. He had 1 million bucks hidden in a casket from his brother Rosselli who owned a funeral parlor. They split it up 50/50. Now Regina could get out the joint go to college and continue to reform herself. LC and Dee Wright opened up a drug treatment center and spent their honey moon in Vegas and doubled up their money on the black jack table. Regina escaped from the big house climbing over a fence in her Red robe which tore it up. Regina broke into LC house with a butcher knife with her tits hanging out of her tattered robe saying: “You took my man *****. I was going to have his baby but you messed it all up. She looked like a mad poodle that was turnt into a vampire. When she heard the police sirens she took off like the former Olympic track star Marion Jones in some magical shoes. Regina was on the lamb for 3 months. A mobster by the name Hank Strugis who tried to get he to shoot at Obama from a sewer manhole as he would drive down Elm on the 50th anniversary of JFK’s death. The plan was foiled when Dee Wright’s friend Little Kim (slim goodie) told him about. Regina was arrested coming out of the manhole still in her red robe with nappy hair and with cameras TV news crews. They had her looking like Sadaam when he was caught coming out of ground. A big *** spectacle it most definitely was. They put her back in the Nut house and she was put back in one of LC classes to get her back together. All of this sure in the hell shook up LC and Dee Wright. They both vowed not to take advantage or mislead people so they could get personal gain. Due to their Ethical violation Professor Sheeran Zangetty lowered their grades by one. LC and Dee Wright became celebrities. Late night comedy flicks like William Sayer show of Political Ineptness invited him on and called Dee a fool for the Pen Pal Caper. Dee shot back by calling William a fool for giving millions to all those whoredom politicians who refuse to go on his show after they got the money. Dee said who pimped who? Regina made a full recovery in jail and was paroled in Houston. She mailed him a postcard with a poem. The poem was based on her research and studies she did in Egyptian Law while penned down in the joint ).


    Thanks for offering me the Maat (Justice) from which I truly Love

    I’m living by it now just like Love follows all the peaceful Doves

    Its my bread and I drink and guzzle all of its Listerine dew

    My body is no longer a snake swallowing up meat ball stew

    I used to be your favorite flavor of Chocolate ice cream

    But I now pledged allegiance to be on God’s Team

    I’m with god now and I pray he’s with me

    My bootie may have gotten a little bigger but I hope that’s not all you can see

    So just forget about me I’m starting a new life in Austin city

    Don’t feel sorry for me and I don’t want your pity

    I’m a fragile human being just trying to live the good life

    You disappointed me Dee, I truly wanted to be your wife

    You said I looked like a nun in a convent, black robed with arms in a fold

    Take another look now I’m white robed, noble and godly to behold

    I shine like Ra and Maat not scorched by fire nor wet by cold water,

    I’m now protected from all of Satan’s harm

    With no tricks up my skirt and no magic to charm

    Because my temperature is that of Justice, you’ve known as Lukewarm

    Truly yours,


  2. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Jan 28, 2001
    Likes Received:
    the near north
    +818 / -4
    very entertaining...and you kept it moving. I like that. I could easily see it being developed into a fiction novel--mystery or romance. so many crooks and turns that could come into play.

    keep writing.

    AACOOLDRE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    United States
    Jul 26, 2001
    Likes Received:
    +392 / -3
    thanks. words like that keep me writing.
    I came up with the ideal after drinking up a half pint of voka

    AACOOLDRE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    United States
    Jul 26, 2001
    Likes Received:
    +392 / -3
    This is some side notes for all the critics out there about “Pen Pals”

    First and foremost this is a fictional story not autobiographical. People need to learn how to take a joke and being thin skinned all the time.

    The original idea for “Pen Pals” came about after watching an episode of the 1970’s sitcom “What’s Happening” where D starts up a Pen Pal relationship with a prison inmate. I then finessed and weaved a story around that plot.

    I’m the last person to be homophobic. For example I’m against American corporation and the USA government breaking bread with Muslims countries that beat gay people that burn gay people and throw them head first off of buildings. I support tranny’s being able to go to the bathroom of the sex they ID with. If a man/boy talk, walk, dress and thinks she is a female and has all the qualities except for the football equipment dangling down from the center of their body, they ought to be allowed to take a dump with the rest of the girls in the john. Its about keeping everybody safe. If a tranvesite would go in the men’s room they would be in danger of being beat up and killed just like in those Muslims countries.

    Obama did the right thing in the public schools. Obama has sympathy for the Trans because his nanny was a tranny. If people look back and read history they will learn that Abe Lincoln used to dress up in woman’s clothes while riding on a horse.

    ****… what is America coming too. Stand up comedians don’t even book the college campus circuit no more either. Its all on the fun tip, but they want it all on the Politically Correct tip. I’m not asking nobody to change their ways. I’m not telling them to stop drinking their spud juice or their Buttweiser. The lines run long at the commissary before it goes out of stock of Vaseline. Hey one of the best black comedy movies was Friday after the Next when gay Damon had the little Chiwawa pimp all caught up the da bathroom. It ain’t nothing but a party ya’ll. They need to stop getting all bent up out of shape and walking around with their azzzz all tight being all stanky dank dank.