Black Relationships : Parents not liking who whom dates

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Dec 9, 2003.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This thing has been on my mind for a while and I will now address it:

    If you were in a situation where your date/bf/gf's parent is misjudging you when they don't even know you and badmouthing you to the child you are dating. What would you do? How would you respond? Would you want to get out of the relationship, even if the person you are with wants to stay with you?

    I hope I made sense, if not, I apologize, I am a little listless.
     
  2. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmm, I'd let him, the guy I was dating, make up his own mind. If he knows me well enough, there shouldn't be any reason why badmouthing from his parent(s) should run him away, save he is only ever trying to please them, even if it means compromising his own happiness. If that's the case, can't do much about it but move on.

    I wouldn't take much of it personally and just brush it off, because a lot of parents do this, being protective of their child.
     
  3. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dating is for family building. I'd like to, when the time comes, have a good say over my son's and daughter's dates. Too many parents are uninvolved and that itself is a problem.

    I had to meet my wife's parents. And I passed with flying colors. It's something to take seriously.

    Addendum: Wow! legit-writer from a decade ago!
     
  4. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh wow. 10 years later, and me and him are definitely no longer together. He used me, stole from me, put me in financial debt (or should I say I was naive enough to put myself in debt by taking care of him) regardless of harassment from his family. and when I finally had enough of it (6 years) I told him he has to get himself together and start learning to take care of himself, he bailed on me, and basically went back to his parents and is still in the same boat now than he was 10 years ago, living off of them and not doing a doggone thing with his life. Either way, I am so glad I am free of that drama. The mom was crazy (sadly she passed away in 2010). I was there for him when she passed away, regardless of how much she hated me. I am definitely not going to date another man like that ever again. If I see signs from that with any guy, or find out he is living off of his parents, that's going to be a dealbreaker right off the bat. I am so done with that garbage and won't subject myself to that ever again. I've grown up and I am done trying to prove myself to the parents of someone I date. And to be honest, 9 times out 10, if the family of the person you're dating doesn't like you, then chances are that relationship will eventually sour and end because at the end, it will almost be that he/she will have to choose between their partner and their family, and personally I don't want the person who I am dating to have to choose. I feel that if that's the case, then he needs to be with his family and not me because I just don't have time for that drama. Truth be told, girlfriends/boyfriends come and go, but family is forever, and I am not going to try to compete against someone's family anymore. I am done with that s***! Sorry, but I forgot that I posted this... This was definitely 10 years ago. WOW!
     
  5. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My thoughts exactly!!! I appreciate someone taking the time to go back that far lol
     
  6. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Heheh, still a pretty interesting topic, so I replied to it.

    Thanks for sharing with us about what happened, legit.
     
  7. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Let this be a cautionary tale.
     
  8. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Too bad you didn't type this to legit-writer from 10 years ago. Think she would have listened?
     
  9. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hell, I didn't know any better 10 years ago. I was definitely naive and too much of a people pleaser, and had no spine. Now that I have one, guys know to step away if they are on that B.S.
     
  10. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sho' nuff. :cool:
     
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