Black Relationships : Parent Issues

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by CarrieMonet, Jun 21, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How important is it to you to mend a strained relationship with one or both of your parents once you reach adulthood? Are you able to put the past behind you and forgive...or is a burned bridge left to fall apart?
     
  2. rasheed

    rasheed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Both of my parents are dead but i kept a very good relationship with them when they were alive and the relationship stays good for eternity.

    It is a command in Al-Islam that we keep good company with our parents.

    We are to obey them when they tell us what is right, but even if they wrong us or try to command us to do something wrong we can't then obey them but we have to work hard to keep good company with them.

    That's in my religion and i agree with it. It's sometimes hard with some parents but it's worth the work......

    Peace and Blessings
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    one's that birth me loved me and whatever they did as i was
    growing up to adulthood i cherished and kept a very very close
    relation wit my parents until death did us part
    i can't see holding some wild oat madness in a heart they made me
    to have for no reason they still the parents no matter how old u get
    respect is the key !
     
  4. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Unless they have really done wrong, you cant hold a grudge against your parents for too long. There are ways to make them pay for how you feel you were wronged, but eventually it is best to let it go IMO. I let things go myself a few years back when I felt that the message I needed to get accross had gotten accross.

    If the relationship was one way with your parents while growing up you cant expect it to become alot better in adulthood, but there is no reason to let it get worse unless you were really wronged by them...in that case (what ever it is) to hell with them....but it has to be serious.
     
  5. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know that in cases of abuse be it sexual or physical sometimes a grown child will hold the parent who seemingly did not "help" them at fault.

    Kids that grow up with a parent who was a drug abuser or alcholic often time still hold grudges against their parents...even though that parent is now clean and sober.

    One of my friends has 8 siblings. 6 of them refuse to speak to their father because of the lies their mother told them growing up. They call on their dad for help when it comes to financial matters, but in the streets they say they hate him.

    So I was just wondering if you all grew up in one of the above situations...would you be able to forgive your parent...or if you'd leave the bridge burned.
     
  6. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Physical and Sexual abuse should NEVER be forgiven PERIOD.

    Drug busers and alcohalic parents should be given chances....but only so many and they should not expect to ever have "normal" relationship with the kid of they screwed up.

    In the case of one parent bd mouthing the other...grown kids should know enuff to investigate and then punish the parent who told lies how ever they can if that was the case.....lying to a kid like that and playing kids aginst the other parent is a very selfish act that should not go un-punished.
     
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