Black Poetry : Paradise (Pt.4 of the LOVE Trilogy)(the final chapter)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by the_story, Feb 29, 2004.

  1. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,410
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    in your atmosphere...
    Ratings:
    +1
    i smiled at him...
    he was rolling around on the green
    cement with not a care in the world
    slowing thru his brain.....

    i was content....
    he was my sun, my universe, my everything,
    i loved him,
    and to think i thought
    about aborting this perfect life
    free, aggressive, not a care in the world

    his father never came around
    (the bastard)
    it was just us....
    us and God with his angels
    around him for protection....

    i loved the way he pouted...
    his lower lip begging me to change
    my mind on that new tonka that he wanted

    the way he scratched his hair
    when confusion sweeped its
    way through him...

    oh Father (God) forgive me....
    i was blind and now i see the gift u gave me...

    i am floating...
    i am at peace in your arms.....

    copywrite 2004, all rights reserved

    (sorry yall i have riters block....i'll try to do bettah next time....)
    -story
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    no block here pt 4 was a treat
    as da pen had a sweet release
    lovin it as it leak to pt.5 in da week
    tyte lil sis.............
     
  3. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    6,008
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Praising The Lord
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Ratings:
    +44
    very nice sister..
    loving the flows
    all the parts
    flow on
    much love
    Peace
    BlueWater:heart:
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    The only thing I see is a creative descriptive flow. I'm with Rich, I wouldn't mind seeing a part five either.
     
  5. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,410
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    in your atmosphere...
    Ratings:
    +1
    okayyyy...pt.5 it is....(but NO more after that!!!)lol
    -story
     
  6. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    Singapore
    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    6,477
    Likes Received:
    110
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Servant of the People
    Location:
    Bay Area, CA
    Ratings:
    +131
    lol dont be sorry mijiata writing is a SELF healing thang...let it flow :)
     
  7. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,410
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    in your atmosphere...
    Ratings:
    +1
    thanks for the love triniti....
    :heart:
    -story
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Paradise LOVE Trilogy)(the
  1. MsInterpret
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    251
  2. Ankhur
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    445
  3. Fine1952
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    943
  4. Fine1952
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    472
  5. Ankhur

    Black Entertainment : Past-Time Paradise

    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    927