PAIN O, pain of my PAIN ~ My constant companion Why doth thou possess me so? ME? My aching heart and weary soul Bones and joints both fragile and old Emotionally spent and psychologically stressed Mentally and physically, I’ve given my best Where is the hope? O, pain of my PAIN ~ My constant companion I walk the streets of everyday life And…to my right Always Pain You whispered your pleasure At my discomfort As you STROLLED Alongside Me I did not falter. Emboldened By the hope of A Better Tomorrow One devoid of The Sorrow-filled existence I live with…everyday I stood…to walk away But the roots of my pain ran deep Insinuating itself in the depths of my insides Gnawing away at my confidence...my soul…my pride Relieving me of common sense How dense could I be To allow another their control of me Manipulation and frustration has long held sway over me Cleverly dressing and caressing me…into my misgivings Where is the positive (in) living When the negative is running Roughshod Over hopes and dreams Your taste is Repulsive Yet, you’re served up on a platter…Daily I wish no one to taste my pain So…I pain alone Pretending to be strong I’ve struggled long Why must I endure The weight of such pain? The battle scars Of a misguided youth Trying to be a man But doesn’t understand A man’s role So…life goes The emotional scars From relationship’s end When my lady tripped Over things her friends told her …didn’t care that I could show her Her friends were lying So…I stopped trying The psychological scars Of an abusively dysfunctional home During an upbringing where I stood alone Against a father both mean and strong ‘Til I became the man he’d been to me…All along Pained I sleep…to pain I wake…to pain I lay here…Weeping…The pain of my PAIN Disappointment smothered me Frustration bamboozled me I’ve seen joy in the eyes of others…And I’ve asked WHY NOT ME? Yesterday held so much hope Only to find today a disappointment One I hope soon to forget For now, I remember I remember the day “Hello” gave birth to A promising tomorrow Only to be snatched away by sorrow Eating away at my will to survive But surviving wasn’t high On my wish list Did you catch the gist Drowning in the depths of Emptiness Woo’ed by Despair And lonliness While Guilt and Depression Offered up lessons in Frustration (‘Twas A horrible situation) Remorse runs the full gambit From disappointment to pain Sustained by loss and disdain That puts a strangle-hold On the will of my soul…to survive Again…I won’t lie Surviving isn’t high On my wish list I thought… I could handle this… …This Remorse For bad things I’ve done …The pain I’ve caused Under moon and sun It was inevitable that today would be …That you would someday leave me How could it be…otherwise? It was karma’s fault Karma boomerangs Off all the people You’ve ever pained Then offers the same To you It’s true It hurts to breathe To see beyond the pain of my tormented Time spent brooding over love lost Was time wasted So, I did what every red-blooded American male would do I boo-hoo’d til it faded Tears bubbled over Cascading down moistened cheeks Yes…I wept At the pain of losing you It’s not the BLUES I’m going through But a throbbing pain that gained in intensity I could not see the path of my destiny My flow was subdued My every thought was of you But the pain of not having you Is what I was going through I take solace in prayer And bible teachings like: “God shall not put more on you than you can bear” I lay here Grappling with this Debilitating pain I’ve asked Time and time again WHY ME? Then the forecast changed And the rains came ~ My constant companion.