Black Poetry : pain & reminiscence

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by deepy, Oct 3, 2004.

  1. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    2,845
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    nyc
    Ratings:
    +43
    we sat..old friends
    so much past
    so much time passed
    reminiscing
    no need for any air
    no pretense
    we knew each other
    we had changed
    were the same
    she no longer chocolate brown
    some ghastly thing had made her
    pale..
    "what is it"
    "the hip again"
    "operation?"
    "think i must"
    "will this be the third one"
    "fraid so"

    a silence weighed us down
    and yet
    within a moment..we found
    reminiscence
    and so we spoke of books
    of loves and friends
    of children grown and gone
    or those returned
    time moved so fast
    hours gone -past
    until at last
    I screamed quietly into her ear
    "you got the drug to take the pain away"
    she smiled and said
    " i've kept some in a draw for
    just this kind of day"
    "well take one now cause it aint about some
    pain that muddles up the brain"
    "'you sound like E now"
    "well i don't have his brow"
    which led to all our husbands,
    lovers...laughter...
    reminiscing...
    next
    she limped tenderly by
    the pain taking her strength
    the pain all the unrest
    sat on her shoulders bent
    we hugged and held each other
    tight
    and then
    bidding me goodbye
    she turned and gave me
    a survivor's smile..








    (c)ncn/deepy
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    I could feel the ache in this deepy. Enjoying each other's company, still, despite what has occured, and what possibly will. You have quite a way of capturing us into a scene. Thank you for sharing this with us sis.
     
  3. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2003
    Messages:
    12,660
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    somewhere ova da rainbow....
    Ratings:
    +219
    this was posed well i could feel the emotions in this ....aint nothing like a good friendship....
     
  4. Poetrymama

    Poetrymama Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2004
    Messages:
    633
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +6
    Re:pain

    This is full of strength to endure without drugs. Excellent.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    took me there this was awesome indeed flow on !
     
  6. Eisha

    Eisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Messages:
    265
    Likes Received:
    6
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    Baltimore, Maryland
    Ratings:
    +6
    :heart: Feelin this poem. Standing ovation. Lovin this. It is good to remimince on the past. :heart:
     
  7. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    2,845
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    nyc
    Ratings:
    +43
    thank you all...so difficult to be in pain...truly
    hard to be onesself...drains one of almost everything and really
    worse than the problem which made it...
    you helped me see i captured some of the feeling of the moment..
     
  8. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2003
    Messages:
    6,642
    Likes Received:
    539
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Poet
    Location:
    The Lone-Star State
    Ratings:
    +604
    I feel it, I hear it again and again... no pain, no gain

    Deepy, my friend.

    Sho' nuff loved it!
     
  9. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    2,845
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    nyc
    Ratings:
    +43
    1poetsought..
    thanks for that...sometime one writes on one level and eyes see many other...no pain, no gain...
    you have always been right to the point... blessings...
     
  10. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 30, 2003
    Messages:
    5,322
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    ~The hidden library...~
    Ratings:
    +39
    ...this was a very moving piece
    vivid with imagery
    and powerful messages
    and conveyance of perseverance...

    Wonderful peace...
    Sage
     
Loading...