Black Poetry : out the game please give your true opinion and suggestions

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by ballerSon, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. ballerSon

    ballerSon Member MEMBER

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    My love is unlike any you have ever known
    So pure and undefiled
    Belonging to you is all I desire constantly thinking about you
    As you take over me I become your puppet following the guidelines to your heart
    Through the roughest terrain imaginable mazes created by heartache and broken promises
    Obstacles from past relationships are test i must now pass
    So i begin to study you lookin into your soul through wet glass stained with your tears
    Making sure that you know that this is about wanting your complete satisfaction emotionally and physically
    Slowly breaking down security barriers gaining your trust and earning your devotion
    Finally allowing you to realize all brothas arent dogs there is still some good in us
    As you realize this you open up more and more showing me a love that i originally could only dream of
    The more open you become the harder it is to think of anything other than you
    Struggling to focus at work cant pay attention in class hmmm im even dreaming about that ***
    I got a question running through my mind im scared to ask
    This could change our lives forever its a big step
    Only I probably wont ask i dont fare well with rejection i wonder do you feel the way I do
    Well here goes
    Baby i love you with all of my heart even the part reserved solely for me since i care for you more than me
    I see no future for me without thee
    Your last name is Newsome and mine is Ball
    dont you think yours would be better as Ball
    What im trying to say is lets change your name i ready to be considered one less player in the game
    Will you marry me
     
  2. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i love it. very powerful !! and welcome to Destee!
     
  3. ballerSon

    ballerSon Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the love
     
  4. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow. someone who hates writing finally starting to write...and from the heart. i like that.:)
    needs a little work but the foundation is good...and the message is very clear.

    keep writing.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    love the creativity of this
    and the depth of it's core
    with a tap more of structure you be banging
    no doubt i still say it's awesome ......great write !
     
  6. Asantelistic

    Asantelistic Member MEMBER

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    I'm learning to write too, but you're better.. well done
     
  7. Asantelistic

    Asantelistic Member MEMBER

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    Are you related to the OP? I'm going by usernames and your comment...well that would be cool!!
     
  8. ballerSon

    ballerSon Member MEMBER

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    Yes baller is my father
     
  9. Asantelistic

    Asantelistic Member MEMBER

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    Fantastic.. God bless you both.
     
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