Poetry Critiques : one more

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Spirit2All, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. Spirit2All

    Spirit2All Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    COSMIC LOVE

    Here he is – placed in time
    Just so I can call him mine
    Two sad souls got used to drifting
    Destined now for cosmic uplifting


    One soul turns, and so she speaks:

    ‘I swear it’s true…
    My core will always live for you…
    … I’ll breathe for you…
    … see bad times through
    And I know you’ll be there for me too.’


    His soul glows when
    He hears her,
    and knows then
    That they have been Chosen
    And when he allows their spirits to touch …
    … Time is frozen

    -With a first kiss
    That said this:

    ‘If God gave me eternity,
    It could only be Heaven
    If you were there with me
    See, our souls are entwined by destiny
    All those hurdles were meant to be
    Foundations for our unity’


    The souls combine … entwine … divinely
    Floating on in Cosmic Love.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    another well done creation very beautifully written ya skillz andd artistic is grand
    thankz for sharing
     
  3. Spirit2All

    Spirit2All Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you for such positive comments!
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    given what's due you don't need to change a thing this one is ready
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These lines were quite endearing, like 2 feathers floating in the cosmos--loved it.
     
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