Amun-Ra : On Men and Cologne

Discussion in 'Amun-Ra' started by Amun-Ra, Nov 28, 2001.

  1. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am turning into a crotchety old man because I hate the smell of men’s cologne. However, this causes a dilemma for me because my wife likes the smell of cologne on me and I like to please my wife. I don’t know what happened to me, but the smell of perfume and cologne is repugnant to me. As a kid, I always liked the smell of cologne. It was one of the ways I recognized my dad. I am not sure what kind of cologne he wore, but whenever I smelled it, I knew he was home because it smelled like him.

    My favorite smells in cologne are thoroughly antiquated and out of date. I love the smell of Old Spice. It still has a fresh and manly smell to me that is at once distinctly robust but not overpowering or sweet. I do not know who made it, but to this day, I could easily pick out that memorable aroma in a room of other sashaying fragrances even as they tiptoed through the tulips.

    Though it is robust and manly it is a subtle fragrance that is hard to place because it seems to mix so well with the body’s natural scent that it becomes different on each person who wears it.
    Aqua Velva was good but it could not touch Old Spice. I tried English Leather but I ended up smelling like a horse instead of the leather used to saddle them. I liked the smell of a few colognes after that period, but I am no connoisseur because I also liked the smell of gasoline. Therefore, my nose is not that great and I don’t wear cologne except for my wife.

    Nowadays I listen to women as they swoon over a particular fragrance a man is wearing. Whatever happened to butt watching? Now walking into a room filled with men and women is like strolling into an allergy garden packed with musk, spores, orders, aromas, smells and a primitive stench searching for olfactory dominance. In the old days, I would have said something inane or politically incorrect like “all the men smell like sissies,” but I know I would have insulted a few of my friends.

    So, I have reached what is now an obvious conclusion, I am a “cologne bigot.” I hate it on men and especially on myself. Of course, that makes me a sexist because it implies that I think it is okay for women, which I don’t. I loved my mother’s perfume and the perfume that my wife so carefully selects but I prefer the smell of natural women to perfume. I have truly become a cologne bigot because I do not like it on anyone.

    Perfume or cologne residue often greets me on the empty elevator when I get to work. It makes my nose tingle, my eyes water and my head ache. Fortunately, most people don’t follow the ways of the forefathers of this country who did not believe in bathing. In fact, they thought bathing caused sickness. Early American Indians found settlers quite offensive to the nose and were sure to stay down wind from them. However, this lack of bathing did not stop those who could afford it from liberally sprinkling cologne on top of body odor. It is still done to this day. Perhaps, some Indian heritage is making itself apparent in my olfactory senses.

    Of course, my affliction helps me be sure of who my friends are and how they feel about me. I have made it known that I don’t care for cologne. As a gift, I consider it the equivalent of the tie with a dancing hula girl on it. However, despite my bigotry, I would accept a bottle of Old Spice if anyone wanted to give me one.

    :D
     
  2. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    nice save Ra....

    thanks for the memory Ra...all my life , my Dad wore Old Spice..that red bottle with the white ship with big sails was a constant adornment on his dresser...and you never forget that smell, it is instantly recognisable....

    as to your other comments..I guess it's a personal thing, whether you like to wear it or not..I like the title you give yourself..
    "Cologne Bigot"...made me smile...

    personally I'm a "JOOP" girl....don't wear it myself but like the smell of it on any man who walks by....

    oh and just one other thing....butt watching is still alive and well..nuthing beats a tight butt in a pair of faded denim jeans..

    K
     
  3. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hai Karate Anyone?

    Old Spice does have that something special--I never quite figured it out, but for some reason it has a smell that I like and it is as old as Methusela--the cologne bigot especially dislikes men who bathe in cologne--I have a friend that if he shakes your hand it, your hand will smelllike him until you wash it--but all my all irritant is a woman who uses my telephone in my office andleaves perfume reeking from the ear piece--that one drives me nuts--I can't stand it--I want to track them down and wash them--it's like cigarette smoke is to some other people--the few cologne's I like are light--very light--so light that they almost don't have an aroma unless the breeze blows just right or unless you get just close enough--can't stand perfume or cologne that annouces someone before they enter a room and stays there after they are gone--that too **** much perfume and cologne!!!!!!

    The Cologne Bigot--Amun-Ra :puke:
     
  4. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Jade East!

    Now dat's da bomb! Alitle Aqua Velva, Hai Karate or Canoe. English Leather (never worked for me)--Old Spice Lime and Bay Rum--now that's some old sh*t!--Just give me that fresh, soapy smell and I'm fine

    The Cologne Bigot--Amun-Ra

    :D
     
  5. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How Could I Forget!

    Dat's the all-time number one! Brute! WHoooeeee! They could smell you coming from Afghanistan.

    Ra

    :x:
     
  6. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Now come on..

    you two are turning this into a man thang....

    how much can a lady say about mens cologne?..

    except that I have to agree with Ra when you talk about Brut, Kem....that stuff just assaults your sense of smell...horrible...

    K
     
  7. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    OTAY!

    Here's a woman's that I despised--OPIUM--mercy, it lingered and lingered and lingered and lingered until it finally just came over and slapped you across the face--I danced with a girl and she put her cheek close to mine (not next, but close) and my wife and I ended up in a fight because she thought I had been laying up with some woman to have that much perfume on me--OPIUM--it would knock me to my knees and then kick me when I was down--it literally gave me a headache--Ra

    :eek:
     
  8. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well I have to say....

    I'm a Red Door fan myself....but also like to dabble in Vanilla Fields..Vanderbilt and Ambush.....

    and

    have you noticed that some women/men can really wear a perfume/cologne..it like just floats on the breeze whenever they walk by..with other perfumes it just hits you way before you see the person wearing it....it's all about choosing the right perfume/cologne that suits you....and as you say...some just like their man or woman to smell au natural....

    oh and Ra....have you seen in the old westerns how the cowboys used to go into the opium dens and when they come out they are slightly disorientated and out of whack, looks kinda funny....thats the picture I got from your description of your experience on the dancefloor...lol..made me smile....

    and Kem...to be fair you will have to enlighten us as to what perfume you like a lady to wear...;)
     
  9. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't mean to be rude but . . .

    . . . some follks don't know that more isn't necessarily better--they don't understand what to be subtle means . . . speaking as a man, I like stuff that sneaks up on me--now let me clarify--a naked woman is not a sneak up on me thing--but she would sure get my attention--the question is, how long would she keep my attention--now, on the other hand--a woman who shows you just a little something, something--really get my attention because I want to see more. Show me just a hint of skin at the neck and I want to see everything and I will follow to get the chance, but when its available all at once--I am interested all at once and then gone--same thing for perfume--let it sneak up on me--let it be the sweet aroma that I can't find where it's coming from as I ride home still smelling you,but not for sure where it is coming from--let it be that scent that tweaks my nose when it brushes across the back of your neck, let it drift across my mind when I touch any spot that pulses--a fragrance of mystery just a like a woman or man of mystery--keeps them coming back--Ra

    The Cologne Bigot--Amun-Ra

    :blush:
     
  10. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ok you got me there

    I would have to agree with everything you have said....

    so now we are getting down to the nitty gritty..

    so the question is: not what perfume/cologne you like..but what type of perfume/cologne...

    flowery, sweet, heady, spicy, strong, mild..or a combination...

    or maybe we need to get into a lab somewhere and produce our own...all we need is beeswax and essential oils..or maybe we could look into adrostenone pheromone perfumes..there's an idea..:x:

    never knew there was so much to know about wearing a certain perfume or cologne..but I'm learning..:)

    K