Black Relationships : On-line Flings

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by CarrieMonet, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Do you think it's wrong for your mate to be mentally intimate with someone on line? (I am NOT referring to cybersex).
    Words can be very powerful, and if you feel that there is so much time spent online that takes his/her love, interest and eroticism elsewhere, then IS it cheating? If he/she cannot understand that this is hurting you and your marriage/relationship would you leave your mate if the online affairs didn't stop?

    Sharing your heart and mind and desires with someone esle is almost worse than a one night stand. A one night stand is one night. Giving someone a piece of your heart could be FOREVER.

    Bottom line do you ever feel like your competing with your mate's computer "love" interests? Would it bother you to know that he/she is discussing your relationship with someone he is interested in online?
     
  2. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Man o man this is a good one...I've always said I've never been a good man and I think that is cheating and that's coming from well I can't admit to anything but I've done my share of dirt..I was talking with a woman friend of mine the other day about being mentally and emotionally intimate and we both came to the conclusion that being such can bring about more feeling and emotion for the other person that being physically intimate in certain cases. I know this for a fact because I was recently in a relationship where we were not physically intimate but mentally and emotionally and it was intense I mean I told this woman things I've never told anyone and we shared moments where she would look at me and I felt like she was looking through me ..there were times where we would sit and just stare at one another nothing being said verbally but a whole conversation being carried on at the same time..I wish I could cuss darn I loved and still do love that girl...loved her from the first time I ever put my eyes on her but due to me having another woman at the time she couldn't do it she wanted me to be her man and only hers she wanted to love me but due to my circumstances i couldn't give her what she wanted..now I see her at times and she can't even look at me at all can't talk to me nothing..now the other side of the coin I've had women where we were physical and there was emotion but it was never as deep never with the written word it's hard to express but anyway I think I got off the subject..it is cheating and it's hard as whatchamacallit to love two people strongly one will always be over the other and the lesser is the one you will tend to start to try and get distance from ..problems...Mississippi Red...
     
  3. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    EXACTLY!! That is the problem right there. But there are so many people out there who do not feel it is cheating their spouse/mate from having 100% of their heart and attention.
     
  4. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    See, it gets tricky because technically, it's not cheating if you have not had any physical involvement. On the other hand, if you spend more time talking.laughing/joikng with this online/phone person than you do your mate, and you tell this person things you've never told you mate, and feel.. i dunno... happier? refreshed? satisfied? after you talk to this person, and you have feelings for this person that you shouldn't.. AND if you have to "sneak" and talk to this person, dern it, it's an affair.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    to a point yes again it is a tricky thing but if it's deep it is !
     
  6. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Toylin,
    You'd be amazed at some people, they talk about their on-line love interests more than they do their s/o...like they are head over hills or something. I've often wondered if their s/o even knew about all the time they spend on-line flirting with other people.
     
  7. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it's wrong. You are absolutely right words are very powerful and those word can make a person lose their minds. Just like my signature say The soul of man is in the head not the heart what ever the head think the heart feel. To reach ones heart you must first get thier minds teach them as well as learn from them. Those words can start to take up that person's thoughts and they can lose sight of what they have physically in front of them. It's like giving apart of you to some one else. I would feel like they cheated on me. Cause I don't have sex and when I am with someone I usually have alot of mental stimulation and that's our connection it's special. If they did that with every one what makes me different from the others. I have a few *special* friends. These relationships are very very intense. many times I feel some of the poetry we write for each other is worst than having sex (and I'm not talking about erotic poetry) I've met alot of very interesting people on line, and still sometimes I feel like I'm being decietful to my special friends because I've met so many good brothas on line I have this connection with. Yes they all know about each other but if they all knew some of the things I talked about with the others, I doubt they would be very happy or wouldn't care.

    Poetic Sista
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    the actual sex organ is the brain.
    there fore anything that is done that stimulates the erotic centers of the brain (mind) is sex.
     
  9. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I mean no disrespect but Phone Boning and other Cyber Sex, related activities are really non-inspirational; however getting close to a persons mind and spirit online is gravy.
     
  10. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This thread/subject is not about cyber sex.
     
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