Black Relationships : Ok, so why doesn`t she understand?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Emawk, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. Emawk

    Emawk New Member MEMBER

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    I told my girlfriend that I'm taking the bible more serious and we talked about what I meant. So I told her about how christmas is pagan and it has nothing to do with Christ and worshipping his birth. We talked about other pagan things to. Even the day he's born is fake (Dec 25)...Anyways now she wants to know if I want to go to a Christmas party? Huh why doesn't she take me seriously?! :confused:
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    good question , I'm gonna place this in the relationship forum so maybe someone can
    give light to why !?

    welcome to destee.com community
     
  3. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Peace Emawk,

    Having access to information is a gift and a curse.. because once we have that information, we're not always sure what to do with it.. so we fall back on the simplest modes of analysis.. the yes/no, either/or.. good/bad mode... That said.. Christmas parties are not about Christmas.. they are just events where people get together during this time of year. Their are no christmas rituals that conflict with your beliefs at the christmas party are their? If your reasoning is that because of it's not in the bible, I can't participate, then your list of things that you cannot do must be particularly long. Birthday celebrations are not in the bible either.. neither is mothers day.. nor so many other ritual celebrations and cultural functions that you directly or indirectly participate in.. If you are truly serious about the bible, you will have to change your life completely.. where you live, how you live.. who you live with, etc.. What does the bible say about girlfriends? I'm guessing you don't want to take it that far right? so, look, if there is nothing going on at the party that conflicts with your belief system, then what really is the problem with attending the Christmas party with your girlfriend?
     
  4. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Give her room to grow. Sometimes it is hard for us to let go of things that we have done for soooo long. Just let her know that you will not be going to the party and why. Don't make it a long drawn out speech, because you have already told her that you don't believe in Christmas.(No one likes a nag). Sometimes people believe that you can seperate the party from the meaning, and maybe this is what she is thinking. Maybe....but you have to talk to her about it. She probably doesn't see the big deal, but if it is your preference then you should give her the time and consideration to explain it to her again....if she is important to you. I am not saying to accept it, but just give her the time to accept it, it can be a big change. You know her better than I do, you will know when it is just learning to accept something, or just refusing to accept it.
     
  5. Emawk

    Emawk New Member MEMBER

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    Wow you just opened my eyes, I never thought about the whole girlfriend thing(about it in the bible). That's good point, the funny thing is I'm following a lot of things pertaining to something that alot of couples do...:D Did I say too much? Your right though about changing your life to meet the requirements of GODS book, yet I'm taking baby steps. She just pretends as if we never talked about certain things, it's getting frustrating.
     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Peace Emawk,

    got two responses for you:

    1. If you believe it to be "God's book", then why the baby steps? Truth is your baby steps may be signifying to your girlfriend that you are not as serious as you would like to believe you are. If you are displaying split intentions, then how should she know when which intention is in play at any given time. It really is unfair to her. It would seem to me that you would need to find a girlfriend that believes what you believe if you truly want to do what you say you want to do. Straddling the line really just confuses everyone on both sides.

    2. I have a saying that goes, "If you have to say out loud what you are, then you most certainly are not that." meaning... What we are is apparent in our acts. Declarations only speak to intentions.. and what you're asking her to do is to respect your intentions.. but what can one person do with another person's intentions? It seems to me that your intentions are an internal mechanism that should influence your actions. so, you don't need to tell me what you intend to do, you just need to do it.. to act in accordance with your internal intentions. So, with that said, what I'm saying is that the problem isn't hers, it's yours. And if going to the christmas party doesn't match your intentions, all you should say to her is "no". You shouldn't hold her request against her. You're the one with the intention to live a certain way, not her. so, it's your load to carry, not hers.
     
  7. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    you know...when people change portions of their lives, they believe that everyone around them should change to accommodate their change. you said that you told your girlfriend that you're taking the bible more seriously. YOU. just because you've changed, you expect that she's changed...but she's still where she's at. her belief system didn't change...yours did. she's still doing what she was doing before...believing what she believed before.

    why wouldn't she ask if you're going to the christmas party?

    saying that you've changed is meaningless until you've demonstrated that change, in its entirety. religion is the one place you cannot be wishywashy at...coz people will call you on it. you cannot claim to take the bible more seriously, giving up the things she likes to do, but holding onto the things you like to do--like sex with your girlfriend, getting drunk, cussing and swearing, and behaving like a non-christian. as a good christian, you have an obligation to be a good citizen--give unto ceasar that which is ceasar. understand the fullness of your undertaking. as skuderjaymes says, a lifestyle change is required.
     
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