And God populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives... Then Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the 99¢ double cheeseburger. And Satan said to man, "You want fries with that?" And man said, "super-size them." And man gained pounds... And God created healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair... Then Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly-colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds... And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." Then Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds... And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." Then Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof... And God brought forth running shoes, and man resolved to lose those extra pounds... Then Satan brought forth cable TV, with remote control, so man would not have to toil to change channels between HBO and ESPN. And man gained pounds... And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition... Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat-fried them. And he created sour-cream dip also... And man clutched his remote control, and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw this and said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest... And God sighed and created quadruple bypass heart surgery... Then Satan created HMOs!