Black Poetry : Obsession

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by poeticlyspeakin, Jan 16, 2004.

  1. poeticlyspeakin

    poeticlyspeakin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Home is where the heart is, but my heart isn't her
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    when she walks into the room, she floats like a cloud surrounded by sunlight
    and all the shooting stars try to amaze her while i just sit n wonder what its like
    to share passionate words with her or maybe feel the softness of her carress
    Cuz ive never witnessed anyone so refined with finesse
    I just keep falling and falling... but im still swimming in shallow waters
    I wanna find out how deep her love is... BUT it seems like she doesnt wanna be bothered

    thats why I never bother to kick some lines, im planning on a more respectful approach
    But i cant find the words or the thoughts to come close
    her body is more than a temple - i praise, adore, and worship her physique
    my passion burns like fire, it churns in my stomach, and these flames spread within me
    i just want her to see me, the real me, as i see in her
    i want her to find every desire that I can bring to her
    she's a like a thief in the night... she steals the air out my lungs when she comes around
    I cant focus... cant manage... can barely make sound
    I feel as though life is passing me by cuz those that want me I ignore to watch her

    But I cant help myself... i get satisfaction from them, but I feen n want her
    shes like a dream that hasnt come true, but brings determination and ambition
    and I fight for her attention, Im like a love slave on a mission
    shes like a masterpiece and I come to this museum to see her artwork
    but she doesnt see me like I need her to( or does she?)... that only makes my heart hurt
    she causes so many emotions to swirl inside my soul
    cuz i dont know if she's open for visitors or happy in a worls of her own

    this leads to me to believe Im pathetic without answers or questions
    ... this isnt a crush anymore, naw... its obsession.
     
  2. true love

    true love Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this was very very beautiful...i couldn't stop reading, it was just so amazing. much love to you for this.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed this was lovely had me into it like dat ya know
    flow on
     
  4. PositiveMindset

    PositiveMindset Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Little brother, when I was younger & I couldn't find the words 2 come out of my mouth 2 grab a girl's attention, I let my writing do it.

    It's a completely different approach 2 give a woman a love poem, telling her exactly what's on your mind without the stutter.

    Hopefully, she'll see what the fam sees.

    Nice piece.
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    nicely posed
    i enjoyed this read
    wonderful job little sis...
    flow on...
    Angel
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This was beautiful, and I hope she sees you, the real you.
     
  7. poeticlyspeakin

    poeticlyspeakin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks yall

    i really feel this one... deep... much love n respect.
     
  8. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This one is so very you, meaning it's got an incredibly tight flow scheme and is so intellectualy and expressive at the same time. So nice.
     
  9. rahstagal

    rahstagal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i like the fact that your words were tru and nicely fitted,,,much respect for this piece padnah...
    encore encore, c'est tres bein mon petit garcon

    praise
     
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