other than to get a few feelings out in the open, and maybe get some understanding as well. Long story short, I was fired from my job of 11 years yesterday. I always knew that being the union steward put me in the cross hairs, but for me it was easy. It was just a job, one I gave 100% at, but none-the-less, just a job. I didn't like it, I did not hate it. It was a means of keeping the bills at bay. So why do I feel so out of it? When I woke up this morning, I felt like nothing. I mean, I have my wife & children, which I have always kept in the front of meaning of everything I do. I knew that if it were not for them, I would not have remained that job because it is basically not one to be held for an extended period of time. It's one of those "work until you find another job" types, a transition job. But at the same time, it was a job. In my area, unemployment is hovering around 45% now, and jobs are hard to come by here. Long hours, little pay (though benefits are pretty nice) and no respect are the jobs basic description I would say. I feel though like crap this morning. With the job, I had what a lot around here lack; a purpose. If for nothing else, I had something to do 5 days a week. And when I would come home sweaty, smelling to high heaven, I felt as if I had at least accomplished something that day. Now, I'm sitting here just feeling like the rug has been yanked out from under me. Sure, there are a million things that can keep me busy around here, but it really won't be the same as bring home a paycheck. Yes, I'll draw unemployment, but it's not the same, and that's why I know that money is not the issue. I have been working since I was adopted at 4 (helping to care for my elderly grand-parents while my parents worked). To be honest with you, I can't remember not having some type of job. I guess that's another thing as well; my age. I'm 54 now, and too be honest with you, my body has been showing signs of wear & tear the past few years (back, joints, dental), and I wonder if even though I a willing to put in a few more years would any employer hire me with my health problems. I don't know if I'm making any sense here and I'm probably all over the place with this. I just know that this morning I am feeling "not".