Black People : Not EVER wanting to have children

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Is there anyone on here who is absolutely 100 percent sure that they don't ever want and never will have children? I plead 'guilty' as one of them who does not. I am not sure if giving you an explanation why is beneficial or not so if you need me to provide my reasons, I will. Aside from that, I have noticed that people, me included are called selfish and other terrible names because we have made the decision to not have any. Just like we (the ones who don't want children) can't wrap our brains around why those who wanted children and have them, breeders can't wrap their brains around why those who do not want children do not have them. Also for those who truly believe in their hearts that it is selfish not to want children, I need to understand why and how.
     
  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Dated two women like that. Neither had children either. They both claimed to be devoutly religious too
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't think religion has to do with whether or not a person wants children. i just wonder out of the folks on here who actually does not want children, because yeah i know that most people have or want children.
     
  4. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    If you read the scripture, religion and mating go hand in hand. Being fruitful and multiplying is stated early on, ( Gen ) and continued throughout. There is no way around the two
     
  5. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have 2 children...I dont think its selfish for people not to want children. I applaud people who choose to make the decision not to especially if they are not ready, dont want etc and are taking precaution to make sure it doesnt happen. People need to be in their right mind spiritually, physically and financially in order to really be prepared for such a task. Unfortunately too many of us are not in any way close to the right mind when we have kids. So for those who recognize that or just dont wanna have kids for other reasons I applaud them they dont need them and most people dont deserve them.
     
  6. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am def. not one of them :) but I don't think you're selffish for not wanting kids.
    If more people knew parent hood was not something they were going to excel in the world would be a better place...not saying you/yall wouldn't be good at it.
    But I am curious what are your reasons for not wanting a cute little mini you brown sugar baby?

    I've never seen the 'be fruitful and multiply' anywhere other than Geneis when the earth wasn't full.
    Genesis 1:28 God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
    The earth is full so.......?
     
  7. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i agree. and don't get me wrong. i have friends who have children and i love children and interact with them, but I just don't want any. i don't need children in order for my life to be fulfilled. and in an economy like this, i wouldn't do so anyway. right now, we are in times where the scientist robert malthus theory rings true that we are having more children than the food supply can keep up. so really i am good and i am very happy without.
     
  8. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A childfree by choice lifestyle is looked down by many as the ultimate "unwomanly" thing to do. Having a child can be life-altering in more ways than one can possibly imagine and it is an extremely personal choice. Yet women who choose to go childfree have to be prepared for raised eyebrows, weird looks, inquisitive questions, thinly-veiled remarks as well as a phenomenal amount of pressure both from family and society as a whole. However, the reason for me not wanting children is simple. I love my life the way it is. Not even a bible verse or anything or anyone else deter me from that. I know what I want and I have known this since I was a teenager.
     
  9. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    my thoughts exactly...Its not just some walk in the park...the cuteness novelty will wear off at some point and you have to get serious, make serious decisions and actually lead a life worth living that can actually be made example of for your children...I strive toward that everyday. Some of these fools out here cant even master a shower or what time to get up in the morning yet they got 5 and 6 kids running around that they cant even feed...smh
     
  10. Full Speed

    Full Speed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You owe it to no one to have children, so the choice to have them or not is yours and yours alone. I don't think it is selfish at all.

    On the other side of the coin, about three weeks ago, I had a great aunt who died without children. I didn't know her at all as she lived up north since before I was born but as per her wishes, we had her funeral and burial down south at the family homestead. One of my relatives from up north whom I know very well because she comes down every year to our family reunions, came down to the funeral other than that, it was just a few people who attended the funeral. Like I said, I didn't know her at all. So I don't know rather she was happy with her life or not. But, from my perspective, it seemed like an incredibly lonely existence. I am used to seeing older people in my family who have children who adore them and appreciate them greatly. Like when my Grandfather was in his later years (her brother), my mother and my uncles and aunts were by his side constantly. They bent over backwards to make sure he was comfortable and that his wishes were carried out. They new they were about to lose their daddy and wanted to feel like they had showed their appreciation for his sacrifices he had made.

    Now, my grandmother (his wife) is a widow. She is tenderly cared for by my mother, aunts and uncles, and not to mention, us grandchildren. One of my uncles who lives about 6 hours away comes home a couple of times a month to visit here and take her to doctors appointments, grocery shopping, to the bank, to get her hair done, etc. etc. If she has a bad day, he's own his way home.

    The contrast between my grandparents and my great aunt is stricking. She spent her later years in an "old folks" home while my grandparents spent/spending their later years in the homes of their children and grand children as they chose. Right now, my Grandmother spends a couple of weeks with which ever (adult)child or grandchild of her choosing then she decides who she wants to visit with next or she might stay in her home if someone is available to stay with her or in her assisted living apartment.

    So, while I certainly don't think not having children is selfish and firmly believe it is completely up to the individual, I personally think that the person who chooses not to have children is missing out on a tremendous blessing.

    Psa 127:3
    Lo, children arean heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his
    reward.
     
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